Jump to content

Tanzi

Platinum Member
  • Posts

    9,077
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    8

Tanzi last won the day on April 10 2014

Tanzi had the most liked content!

About Tanzi

  • Birthday 02/12/1968

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Tanzi's Achievements

Mentor

Mentor (12/14)

  • Reacting Well Rare
  • Dedicated Rare
  • Very Popular Rare
  • First Post
  • Collaborator

Recent Badges

525

Reputation

  1. I don't mean to be rude but why does he need to give you a Mother's Day card or gift? You aren't his mother. In that respect, I feel the card was a nice gesture. He also pays when you dine out which doesn't sound like being a cheapskate to me. How often do you eat at home? I gather you don't live together so aren't sharing the cost of anything? Do you eat at his? How long have you known him?
  2. Why not meet and then make a judgement call? You’re making a lot of assumptions based on the fact that she isn’t being as flirtatious as you. Maybe she has standards! Maybe she wants to meet you first. There’s nothing worse then flirting with someone who you later realise you have zero attention for.
  3. She has rejected you over and over so why are you focussing on her feeling rejected? This is her choice, not yours. She knows that. You were spot on when you said you were her source of comfort. If she “returns” any time soon, it will be for THAT reason only. Despite all of her contact and reaching out she has still made it perfectly clear that she doesn’t want a relationship. The way to equip yourself for this is to stop responding to her altogether and REALLY focus on moving on. At the moment, you are focussing on her coming back to you and you are hoping NC will do that. If you keep responding to her and offering up comfort and security, she will keep on coming back for it …. and you will be stuck in this same emotional cycle. Is that what you really want? I know it is soooo easy for us to say ignore her ….. and the truth is you probably won’t. But if she does reach out again, remind yourself WHY she is reaching out. And if you must respond, stop making yourself her source of comfort …. stop being her friend … stop making her want to reach out to you because that is what you have been doing and you’ve been doing that for one reason and one reason only. The truth is, if you were serious about moving on from her, you would have blocked her by now.
  4. The poor girl. Where are her parents? Any other relatives? it’s easy to see why she would be leaning on you and even why she would be building an attachment to you …. but what you really want …. want anyone who cares about her should want … is to help her get out of this abusive marriage and to a safe place. Be a friend but, as DarkCh0c0 mentioned above, tone it down. Put all romantic feelings aside. When she is able to leave this marriage, it will be friends she needs not another relationship. She will need therapy and time on her own to build up her emotional strength before heading into something else. Have you discussed the options she has? She could be viewing you as her only means of escape. That could be dangerous because she is waiting for something that may not happen, we’ll shouldn’t happen …. yet she has other options. Discuss these with her. Let her know you’ll always be there as a friend. As much as this girl wants to leave her husband, she will be afraid too. He would have made sure of that. She needs encouragement and help to make it on her own. If there is something real between you, that can happen further down the line. That isn’t the priority right now. Getting her out is.
  5. There are NO excuses for insisting on sex. He is nice to you because it gets him sex but he has no idea how to really treat you. This has disaster written all over his giant sized condom!
  6. He has flirted with you for 13 years? Has he been with his wife all that time? Why hasn’t he left her yet if he isn’t happy? And what do you mean you’re “against love and relationships”? In what way? The above aside, you’ve done the right thing by stepping away. This man has cheated on his wife before and is prepared to do so again. I doubt he cares who he hurts in the process. Stay away from him. Look upon your new job as a new chapter in your life. You’re going to be meeting new people and possibly making new friends. These things should help you move forward. Just don’t look back. Close that chapter.
  7. Although he may be good to your kids and as much as you may try to hide this man's actions, they will see, hear and know what is going on. They will grow up thinking this is normal. As their mother, this is NOT an environment you should allow them to grow up in. It WILL damage them and possibly even damage your relationship with them in the future. For goodness sake, put your children first and get rid of this horrible man.
  8. That is what I thought at first but then OP said this ...... Agree with this ..... Dogs are a full on commitment one way or another.
  9. Tanzi

    Rd

    Maybe, after 10 years, she has finally had enough of living in the shadow of your previous marriage … and you can’t really blame her. It sounds to me like she’s doesn’t want to live another 10 years like that. She has made her decision, all you can do is respect that. Maybe you should take this time to reflect on why you have continued to feel this guilt. You’ve stayed stuck in that place for ten long years. Could you still be emotionally connected to your ex-wife in some way?
  10. So they’ve brought their dog to your home but won’t allow you the same courtesy? Well, based on their double standards, I’d bow out.
  11. Yes, he wants to move on with this girl. There is no way she would want him to have any contact with you so he obviously had second thoughts about you following him Instagram. Don't make excuses for him. He played you both. Now he wants to continue to make it work with her and she has chosen to forgiven him. Leave them be. Why would you want to mess around with a guy who so easily played two women anyway? You would never be able to trust him.
  12. I was going to reply and say the same thing. I kept my married name when I divorced because I too wanted to have the same surname as my children, especially whilst they were going through school.
  13. So what are you sticking around for? Clearly you are not happy with his actions and don't trust him. It makes no sense. And him ignoring you isn't being rude? Besides, it's not rude when you are doing it for your own emotional well-being. You don't owe him anything. You are making excuses here. Why so angry? Again, if you feel that strongly about his actions why are you having anything to do with him? There is nothing that this guy is doing that is making you happy ... NOTHING ... and, quite frankly, it doesn't sound as though you even like him. I really don't know what you want us to say. If we tell you to move on and block him, you say it's rude yet if we try and shed some light on his behaviour, you think we are defending his actions and you don't like it.
  14. The bottom line is, this is it. It isn’t going change, no matter how hard you protest. You either accept things the way they are or you end things now before it gets any harder. Ending things now will give you the opportunity to find someone who you can be truly happy with.
×
×
  • Create New...