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vertigoxo

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vertigoxo last won the day on January 21 2010

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About vertigoxo

  • Birthday 02/26/1991

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  1. I miss you. I admit it. I think a part of me still loves you and wonders about you. But, as logic dictates, that still isn't enough to get back together with you. I am so sad that it had to end this way, and I cried last night over the memories we've both shared. It's horrible to think that I cannot make those new memories with you, how beautiful they would have been, but I guess... life gets in the way of fantasies sometimes, and it's really isn't our fault, when I think about it. I still think of you and wonder what you're thinking. I'm sure you're still hurt and angry just like I am, and I will try my best not to go back to the forum at least until next Saturday (not this week). Hopefully by then, we'll be both calm and not so emotional anymore. I doubt we would talk at all by that time either, though, so I have to understand that and accept that no matter how much it hurts deep down. I love you. That still isn't enough to make things work, though.
  2. I'm happy that I get to easily ignore you. Yes, the thought of you still makes me angry, but I can let it go quickly now. I'm not going to go back on the forum where we both frequent until maybe a couple of weeks from now. I need to heal, for me, not for you. I wish I could have had everything with you, but of course, your stupidity and your best friend had to f*ck things up between us. Not my fault.
  3. Hope your decision in choosing your f*cking friend was the right one, because you lost me for good. Good riddance!
  4. Day 35 I'm feeling okay as far as I'm concerned...
  5. Day 34 He still infests my mind, but it's way way less romantic/sexual. If there was ever a minute where I DID thought of him in a romantic/sexual light, I would quickly replace him with some other guy. Starting Monday, I will be absent from this forum for 2 weeks at the latest. I just need a break, is all.
  6. Day 33 Things have become more smoothly now. The thoughts of him are getting less and less, and becoming less romantic/sexual. My anger is also subsiding. I am really on my way to a better place emotionally now, and it's great. NC is key, people! Keep it up!
  7. Day 31 You know what's annoying? Thinking about them when they don't deserve to be in your thoughts. Ugh. I have about 25 days left until I'm would be supposedly "over" him, according to that stupid broken heart calculator crap. I'm thinking of taking a week or two off from ENA again, starting this upcoming Monday, so that I can quit reminding myself of my own break up in a sea of other peoples break ups. It's not healthy and I love to help out, but now I have to think about me.
  8. I know! How rude! Day 30 Well, I completed one full month of NC. How do I feel... Well, NC is great because not only does it really calm down the intense, heartbroken feelings; It also clarifies the mind and helps us see what really happened. Not only that, but now I'm starting to see what a loser my ex really was. He had a great thing and he let it go out of fear and insecurities. Shame! I refuse to contact him. Yes, maybe I'm a touch angry and bitter, but I have every right so. I have been nothing but sweet as pie to him, even the night he broke up with me in the most cowardly, immature way possible. (AIM break ups. Gotta love em!) He has my number, and he knows my AIM screen name. And I'm sure as hell he knows where I live. If he wants to man up and contact me, he can. But let's just say, this pie is long overdue and it's starting to get rotten to the core!
  9. Day 29 I am starting to feel a little angry when I think about how he handled things. There was one thing he said that really confused me when we were together... This one time, when we were supposed to hang out and he canceled for a really stupid reason, I told him that I can't believe he's doing this, and that he shouldn't do this because I miss him and want to see him. You know what that dolt said?! "Oh, we JUST saw each other a few days ago..." Really? Then WHY did you agreed to the date in the first place, then? Why not just tell me, "You know what, I think we should move the date a day or more away from the one you suggested." I would have understood, but no, I'm suddenly the clingy one? Hell, he even thought he was a clingy boyfriend and I keep telling him that he wasn't... UGH! He's so arrogant, especially around with music. He thinks he has the best taste in music than anyone, INCLUDING ME! I mean, really... Music bears no meaning to your relationships or friendships, dude. Sigh. Whatever. Good riddance. Maybe we shouldn't ever be friends, he's too much of a big dummy anyway!
  10. Day 25 So I took like, 10 days off from ENA, just to get some perspective without having run into sad stories of other peoples break ups since it makes me depressed too. (Apparently, break ups and the sadness of it all is extremely contagious.) I'm doing a whole lot better. 5 more days till I'll reach 30 solid days of NC. Woot woot!
  11. Day 15 It still hurts a little. I keep listening to this song, "Like We Used To", and it simply slays me. I need to stop hearing it... But then again, I should. I'm trying to purge all the bad feelings out. It's better to just rip the band aid off quickly, even if it stings a lot. I just hope that by day 30-31, I'll feel much much better...
  12. Day 14 It's officially been 2 weeks. I'm giving myself another 2 weeks to feel pathetic and unmotivated before doing that "Enhanced No Contact" thing. Gonna make a thread now...
  13. Day 13 Planning on picking up my guitar playing. I started doing that when I was with my recent ex... When he dumped me, I felt unmotivated (rightfully so) and didn't continued. But now, I'm willing to kick myself in the butt and try again. It would be so awesome to learn how to play a guitar. Maybe making music will make my entire situation (as well as for the rest of my life) feel 100x better now that I have an outlet for all of my negative, and the positive, feelings that will come to me. 1 more day till it'll be 2 weeks. I'm amazed at my strength to not break NC with him not even once, even if it was difficult and hurtful. Woot!
  14. Day 12 I started talking to 2 guys yesterday. I must be crazy because they live more than an hour away from me. But... I don't care, I just want to talk to people, is all. I'm not planning to meet them or take them seriously. I have told them straight up about my situation and they understood. Still, they are kinda weird. One of them is like a cold-hearted robot (I'm not talking to him tonight or ever again, lol!), and the other one is much nicer but I'm getting this strange feeling that he's not over an ex either even though he says he is. Soooo yeah, not gonna take his guy seriously. Too far, physically AND emotionally. But I don't blame him and I think he's a nice guy. What's wrong with having friends, right? Anyway, about my financial situation... My dad is going to go to Virginia on his own ina couple of days. And then in 3 weeks or so, I'll be moving in with him. I remember taking that broken heart calculator and it says I'll be over my ex in 8 weeks. It's been 12 days since we spoke and since he dumped me. So according to the stupid calculator, I'll be over him on September 19. Great. 2 more days till it will be 2 weeks. 6 MORE WEEKS TO GO!
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