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Caldus

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About Caldus

  • Birthday 03/02/1985

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  1. Hey, my chest looks like it's going to burst out because I work out so much, so I guess I'm good on that part at least. 5' 7" isn't really that bad is it?
  2. I don't have any friends either, so you're not alone in that aspect.
  3. Another thing I am thinking about. Both of my parents are (or were) alcoholics. My mom is in the AA while my dad still drinks a lot. I don't intend to walk down their path, but like someone else said earlier, you could be doing it before you even know it.
  4. I agree Eva. There are a few nights where I ache for a beer, but other nights, like tonight, I don't want to be anywhere near it. Hmm, wonder if I am an alcoholic. Haha.
  5. I drink alone a few nights a week. But usually I only drink a beer or two at the most. There have been a few times where I drink more than that alone though. Most of the time though, I just like to taste it a little and maybe get a small buzz and that's it. I hate getting drunk. I only get drunk with other people anyway.
  6. Because women are a heck of a lot better at analyzing body language in general than men are. Trust me, they just pick it up.
  7. I agree. If it was something she really wanted to say to you, then she would've left a message. But wow, 1:30 AM. Late. It does make one wonder.
  8. Yeah, and either way, you sound like a smart gal anyway. The fact that you're acknowledging all of this stuff says something at least. Most 18 year old girls would not even realize that they go off of the opinions of other people. You're very ... I guess I should say ... conscientious if that's the right word for it. You're pretty cool so don't worry about it. Maybe you're involved with the wrong crowd?
  9. If it makes you feel any better, I celebrated my 21st b-day sick in bed. Not like I would've had any friends to hang out with anyway. This year I also celebrated my 22nd alone. You just need to start getting out there and talking to people more. So much easier said than done, I know.
  10. Ugh it was such a cliche message too ... just saying "happy birthday" in big letters. It's like as though she was just looking at her calendar and just happened to see it was my b-day so she check it off of her list and then that's it. I wish she didn't email me so that I wouldn't be thinking about this crap again today. Earlier today I wanted to type up like a 30 page response about everything that has been bothering me in the last few months and just get every single little drop out of my system, send it, then block it forever. But now I am just going to try and ignore it. I'm going to pretend that she doesn't have a boyfriend anymore, because I know it won't work out with him. What I would do to make her feel what I felt so that she would truly understand everything and apologize like crazy and everything. Alright I really need to just get off of here and do some stuff. Don't worry I won't send her another email. I already trashed the email and enjoyed doing so.
  11. That day when she just casually smiled at me after I told her how hurt I felt. She said that she was called the heartbreaker and then just smiled at me. I will never forgive her for that. How could she be so selfish like that. I really really really want to tell her how I feel and then block her email address forever. I was just screaming in the car earlier today. She stirred up my anger big time again.
  12. She sent me a happy b-day message. That's all it was though. I told her in my last email to never send another one, and she did anyway. I don't want to respond to it. I will not. But then another side of me just wants to call her up and scream at her all kinds of nasty things. I still have a lot of built-up anger towards her but I know it's useless to even let it go on her. I can't let her be a part of my life anymore. No way. But I so just want to say all kinds of mean and nasty things to her. I know it's not right, especially since she was just trying to be nice...
  13. God can I relate to that knot feeling. Try knowing for sure that she left me for another guy. I had that feeling for a good two months before it started getting less and less painful. It's been almost 2 months NC for me and I am already getting a lot better. Probably because I have been meeting a lot of new people lately and keeping busy with things. You should do the same. If you have to, delete your Myspace account or find some way to restrict yourself from ever going to his profile again (if that's even possible). I won't lie, you're going to feel that knot for a while. But if you don't really start this NC process, the knot feeling is going to be at full strength. As soon as you let NC start though, the knot progressively gets less and less painful over time. But it's very gradual unfortunately.
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