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delicous

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  1. Jotted down a thousand words describes the way I feel When I read them, I come undone every feeling real Thunder, lighning and tons of rain skin cut deep and lots of pain fun times ruined friends forgot so much accusin of so much throught Minds are connected, souls are sewn Earth so big , feeling alone tired soul is resting, love so far away faithfulness is testing, go or stay Feeling so restless, so much pain feeling so in love, yes my eyes they rain so loving and caring, yet selfish and vain Earth is so unsteady while layers of skin unpeals...
  2. I miss you, but I like somebody new...I know I shouldn't be going out with anyone right now because I need to take more time to myself and to get over you....I guess deep down inside I am hopeing you com back... I love you baby!
  3. I love u so much baby, please remember that and know in your heart that I swear it will be different this time. I will not let us fail again!...I need you in my life sweetheart and I promise to u ill be a good girl and love you the way you deserve to be loves in a non judgemental, non jelous rageful of a way....It'll be different baby, please give me the chance....I miss feeling you next to me, I love you so much!!! Baby, you gotta know Im in love with you and you gotta know Id do anything for you because you id anything for me and i will never forget you because you took care of me....I love you baby, u hate mush, but i know you secretly love it...... babe, please..........I'm at a loss, I want to be with you for life, not trying to sew wild oats and not trying to keep you until someone better comes in, I want YOU!!! I love you baby....
  4. I dont think im getting over you, not even a smidge, I love you and want you back...but I will not wait forever, theres only so much time I can allow to go by until I finally am done for sure.....I probaly willl not try to bring your clothes to ur friends until after all the holidays....The holidays are tough without you, I love you baby and I know its not yourstyle to say it back or to really even say it on a day to day basis, but I feel like had said it a 2nd time in person, and a 3rd time, youd know it more than me just texting it or telling u it whenever wed break up This sucks, it hurts so much...yet Im being forced by you , and you are the only person who can stop my tears, but you are also the person who always starts them .... Life sucks, I wish I never talked to any male friends about our problems...They are our problems, no matter how wrong either of us are, it should of been something you and I only discussed, nobody elses business and I swear id never discuss our problems again if you came back....I know its a far shot but I love you baby....And its you and me, just you and me and nobody else......If ever you chose to come back, id never let you go again!
  5. I really missed you today, I guess its because its the holidays and they are coming up.... I miss being with you and I was hopeing this year would be the year we got things right....That'd youd finally decide to meet my family and that our relationsship would be stronger than ever...Unfortunetly it didnt happen.....I love you always tho, hope to hear from you soon, but im not holding my breath anymore...
  6. Since I have less to say than usual, I must say Im doing an alright job at not thinkin about you as much....Still think, but I just can't let myself care anymore Even though I see your damn truck around every CORNER!!!
  7. I am so done with letting myself get hurt over something I "think" I want.... The fact of the matter is, even if I get it, you can't ever provide stability, longegevity or a true life partner ..... You are just to about you and what you want and don't care who you hurt in the process, as long as you get what you want "in the moment" not gving a care in the world how you impact each person you come into contact with!!!!!! You discuss me and this weekend, I am packing your crap, taking it to your friends house and saying goodbye indefinetly!! I hate how much you screwed up my self esteem, because of you instead of me being where I wanted to be at this point, you totally screwed things up, don't worry......You only pushed my plans back by a few years, by the time I am 27 or 28, ill be 3 quarters more educated, more beautiful, focused and balanced emotionally than you ever will be at age.......what 31 or 32!! It's so sad and pathetic and Im done with this crazy stupid obsession!!!!! Kiss my ass goodbye for good, oh yeah, Ive been thinking abotu getting a restraining order if you for one sec try showing up again "out of the blue..." You piece of crap master manipulator, rott where the sun don't shine!
  8. I gotta vent, I'm doing good, Im cool, but at the same time, theres a part of me that wants to scream.... I wanted to be with you so badly so many times before that I do not know what it's like to be alone. It feels so .....well, alone.... I hope you come back one of these days, I love you so much still ...
  9. Even when I get upset, I still feel tempted to tell you goodnight, to let you know I still love you... I wanted to call you so badly today, but I am going to try to stay strong. If you didn't answer, it would undo the healing and if you did answer and seem annoyd or in a hurry, it would once again undo the healing...The one emotion id hope to hear over the phone is happy and excited to hear from me, but it's not the right timeing. I have not given you enough time to get over everything and to really miss me, if you ever do end up missing me that is?......... I really love you and hope the best for you, even if it's not with me, but I'm also praying that its not with her either because she is a manipulating discusting coke head individual who I hope you realize is NOT the one..... I honestly believed you and I fit great together aside frm the back and forth drama with her in the picture still even when you claimed to have her out of the picture. That day you came over and acted like she was out of the picture, I should of slammed the door in your face the moment I sensed hesitation in your voice and on your face. It's never been just you and me....it's always been you, me and her.... I just count myself lucky that none of us ever caught any sexual transmitted diseases because with all of the back and forth you and i and her did, I am very suprised.... And if I caught something, I have not shown any signs and I go to the gyno often especially since you made me get an abortion!... I don't know why I care, i should hate you and be so happy you aren't in my life anymore, but im not.... I should of made you stay the night that day you and I went to planned parenthood and I chose to leave and you and I ended up actually coming back to my place and having a huge discussion. I should of been more loving and careing and asked you to stay instead of patronizing you and telling you that I didn't believe you'd be faithful. I should of shown you I loved you instead of acting that way, but it's not able to be undone. I hope we can some day be in eachother corner again, but yea right now, I just wanna let you know how much I still think about you, forgive you for everything with the pregnancy and everything with your ex girlfriend, although I forgive you, it's pretty much impossible to let go of and completely forget. If you really loved me, you'd of stuck around even while I was going through my post-abortion and even after I was going through my insecurities and thoughts of you being unfaithful....>What did you expect me to do ???.....Just pretend nothing ever happened and we are brand new people together????? It never worked after that first initial time of you screwing up, I just kept taking you back because I was insecure and still really hurt about past BS from my past ex..... Anyways, I wish we could talk, but I know in my heart that it's not time and not enough time has gone by...Even though 1 mnth and 1/2 seems like forever, it's really only a week 1/2 more than we usual went without talking...... And technically we talked about 3 weeks ago. Which is our usual pattern of things. I love you and you know this, I hope you wake up and smell the coffee soon, either way, Ill stay okay....and keep growing and getting better and most importantly, learn to love myself......
  10. I don't have as much to say to u as usual, Im tired of thinking about how much crap you put me through and me crying over you has really caused a damper on my self esteem. These tears are now me growing to be stronger and THATS IT. You cannot take anymore of my energy away from me and next time you try, Ive made a promise to myself to not let you and to let you know I am trying to heal and to please leave me alone!!! It's time to take all of the focus off of you and onto me sense Im the one who got me into this situation in the first place!!!! I need to learn to love myself so I can learn to be in a real true meaningful relationship. It won't be for awhile, for some reason I have so much respect for you and our relationship that I cannot for the life of me date anybody right now.... I promise you, it won't be forever, I just need time to heal and grow and I have definetly learned from any mistakes ON MY PART that I made, however it was mostly my naive personality that caused you to be able to keep the upper hand for so long..... I don't want that anymore!!!....Please just for the love of God, stay away from me! Even though I love you and would give you the world, I am changing and learning and realizing you are not worth my time and energy any longer. It has been too long and honestly, Im not ready to start forming grey hairs from stressing over such a L O S E R! I can seriously feel the time pass since I contacted you last and also feel the energy and I know youve been thinking about me, please stop! I am DONE!
  11. Still miss you and want you back, just gotta grow stronger and grow tougher skin.....Right now it's so easy for you to get in my thoughts, but thats my fault because ive been allowing it, Im gonna do my best to put a stop to it .......You need to wake up and realize the world does not revolve around you and you are not Gods gift to women...you are seriously the opposite of that and you cause girls to want to put themselves out of there own misery, you're rediculously selfish and allt hese times you have chosen to get back together with me and told me wed get a house together, all of that........just a lie and it's a discusting gestur to break up with me a week after telling me everything, about how you would not give up this time, yet what did you do?????? You make me so angry and upset and I am so frugal towards you at this moment! I want to kick you in your nuts!
  12. I'm not at all over you baby, was just laying down on my floor with my phn plugged into the charger just going through out pictures....You are so cute when it comes to taking pictures, you so HATE them, but you knew I love them so you'd take them with me...It meant a lot, if I didn't have these pictures I'd be crying more probaly because I'd have nothing but one measly card you gave to me when we first started our "thing..." And I have that ONE stuffed animal you won me at the carnival that we went to that night all of this started... I still keep it around even though you aren't anymore....I guess to remind myself to keep the faith up. Nobody and I mean not a single person or soul out there believes you and I will ever make it for the long run. Everybody and I mean everybody is telling me to move on and get over you. It isn't that easy when there is sooo much history with us. I love you baby, I hope you know that and I hope you think about me still.. I am really hopeing you know it and believe it and hope you don't think I'm a manipulation bleeeep because I swear, I didn't know I was playing games, I guess I just didn't know how to be in a relationship and thats no ones fault. I do love you and am still very hopeful even tho nobody else seems to be. I love you and I hope you come back to me!...Like a wave in the ocean, Ill always come back to you, like not a moment has passed! My heart is yours baby!.....Latley, I have been having weird dreams and I don't know if it's my self concience trying to help me get over you, they are super strange type of dreams tho, like something I'm sure you aren't doing or that you are.... You definetly are worth the wait tho and I will WAIT....I love you and you need to know im willing to be patient because you are worth it and you DO deserve me. I miss makin dinner for you and giving you massages and strip teases and just being silly with you and having fun. I don't know if I am making much sense since it's only been 2 months, but I do miss you.. and I don't know for sure, but as of right now you are the only man who made me have butterflys in my stomache everytime you were near!.....
  13. Thinkin about the good times, even though there was more bad than good!.... I tried going out on a date with somebody new who I just met last weekend. I felt weezy to my stomache at the slightest touch from him, baby I seriously want to try again and make it work this time, no more playing games and no more ex drama!! Stay away from your ex and everything will be great, I swear you don't need her, I'm everything and more!!!..... I wish that you could see that!! I'm seriously starving myself without you around, my world is upside down and I can't stop thinking about you!!!..I miss you so much, can't stop crying!
  14. I missed it somewhere, some place, not viewable to the human eyes, not interpreted through the human brain I should of threw a spare, in this case, its not viewable through the human face Its not interpreted through so much space, its not viewable and not easy to replace this feeling of a waste of space, this feeling of the room closing in, getting smaller and smaller- Like being trapped inside an elevator, like hopeing and wishing to get off of it alive I always wish to hear from you late, while im waiting its a matter to survive Its a matter to get through this period of withdrawal, like a drug I can't let go I can't keep waiting, yet thats what I do, the time just becomes so slow like a clock that doesn't work, like a blinde person who needs Gods help to see I can't go on feeling so hurt I can't go on feeling so hurt I can't go on and if I do, Ill hurt myself and also you Picturing a bridge which is my escape driving 100 miles, ready to escape Ready to escape all the pain and agony inside, every thought of you and every fear of death escapes my mind in my car with the windows down, seat belt off, ready to drown I drive off the bridge, last thing I see is thoughts running in my head of you and me.... I slam my breaks, but it's to late this is the outcome of waiting, this is my fate--- __________________________________________ I'm bleeding and you can see that I am, yet you stick the knife deeper I am overwhelmed, and its because of you, i can't even look in the mirror without something to do with you I thought id be the everything inside of your life your soul companion, your future, your wife instead I seem to be just a toy that you like to play with playing with my life, my dreams, why can't i be the one you want to stay with? But on second thought, wish you'd go away, but as soon as you do, I beg you to stay and you cause me to love you again why can't you stop making my head spin why can't you accept everything i offer why don't you choose me instead of her?
  15. I feel weird...I did the no contact after being broken up for 3 weeks. He called me and text me and I didn't budge for a whole 3 days then the 4th day I called him...We have been back together since but I still can't help but think I should of waited longer like this posts suggest...=/
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