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millaj

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About millaj

  • Birthday 02/13/1979

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  1. Fawn, yes it is exactly how I feel. And she is definitely trying a lot harder now, so I think we do need to try sex therapy. The scars are definitely still there. Ballys.. your right the grass is not greener on the other side and I suffer from thinking that all the time in my life.. not just in relationships, but jobs, and other things. I just have to heal now, because even though things are working out again, I'm still affected by before. I still have the wandering eye now, and I still feel like I want to experience others. I don't know how to talk to her about this though.
  2. I'm a 27 year old who has never really been in a serious relationship until now.. my relationship has been going on well over a year, and when it was going great, I was really happy. Then things started getting rocky, she wasn't giving me the intamacy I needed, then I broke up with her and was intimate with someone else. Since then she has begged and pleaded for me to come back and give her my love. It never left, but I thought I was doing something right by splitting up with her, because I fell "out of love" with her. I started not to want her the way I used to, and since then I am still the same way. I got back with her, and we have been working it out. I love her very much and she is the best woman I've ever been with. That has never changed. The problem is, I can't stop my wandering eye now. I'm bisexual anyways so I've always had a wandering eye for men, but when I am completely satisfied (or I should say when), I never looked towards anyone else because I was completely happy. Now even though I am happy, and she's doing wonderful, even trying to be intimate with me, and I am not as interested as I used to be. I don't know if it's going to take time, but I already have my eye on two different women and another guy. I feel that I want to be single and experience other people, but at the same time, I love her so much and I feel settled in what we have. I think I have a problem, and I wonder if I will ever be completely happy no matter who I am with? I'm confused, and just taking it one day at a time, but what do you think, do I have a problem or am I justified in the way I am feeling now? Thanks, MJ
  3. Congrats! That's why I hate labels.. I think that we all are a bit bisexual.. even if we act on it or not.
  4. Studies have shown that men who get turned on by gay sex are usually homophobic. I wouldn't stress about it too much.. if you love him, you would love him at any level.. bi sexual, bi curious, gay, or straight.
  5. They say it takes one month for every year you were together to heal. But I don't know if that's true. I know how much it hurtson both ends (bi).. I've seen men hurting really bad too.
  6. Update.. I ran into an old friend of mine.. another woman and we have been having sex. I told my partner yesterday and she is totally devistated. 1. It was another woman (I had told her that I was going to go outside of our relationship with a man) 2. I didn't tell her right away, and she added 2 and 2 together and confronted me about it right before I told her. 3. I planned it out and it's with a woman I know. So now my partner is going through the stages of loss.. Sorrow, Denial, Bargaining, and Anger.. It hurts me too b/c I knew that it wasn't working out. I talked to her for months on end trying to let her know that I was not happy, and she couldn't do anything about it. So now she hates me.. or I don't know if she hates me, but she can't look at me the same way. She says she can't trust me anymore. She says she wants to work on it, but I honestly think that its best that we just stay friends for now, and take our time to see if it's worth salvaging, or if it's best to just part ways. This new chick and I are still going to have a sex life, but I am going to talk to her today and tell her that it can only be purely physical.
  7. Yea, I should tell her, but I haven't yet b/c over the past couple of days we have been talking more about breaking up.. it's really hard for her to understand but she knows that it's over.
  8. That's true! Thanks. Yea, I think I'm going to stop worrying so much about our lack of intimacy and just keep it movin.
  9. Great advice, thanks for sharing.. I am sure that some people will find this very useful.
  10. Well if you have been reading my posts about the situations that I have been going through with my girlfriend, you will know that I have been at witts end with not having anymore intimacy. If you haven't, here is the link to read: I thought that I would feel really awekward about it, but I actually don't. It's something that I needed and I did it. I don't even feel bad about it. Her and I have been going through it for so long, that I just couldn't handle it anymore. She knows that I have been unhappy with our sex life for some time now, and she says she doesn't know why she can't give me what I need. In my whole life, I have never cheated on anyone, and I don't even know if I would call this cheating. The guy was a friend of mine, and he's really cool. I knew that I could call on him if I wanted to and I did. I'm probably not going to tell her b/c it really doesn't matter anymore. We have broke up and got back together so many times now, and the other day I think our last conversation sealed the deal. I just wanted to get this off my chest.. do you think that I am horrible for this? Or is it justified due to the situation?
  11. Here we are again, Valentine's Day, and no intimacy. I am starting to get very depressed about all of this. Lately I have really been effected by it. We have tried, we have exchanged promise rings and she said she was going to try so hard. I'm just crying right now, and I don't know what to think or what to do. She did something so nice for me - made a nice colage of us together over the year and a half. Plus a background of a drawing that we drew together when we first found attracted to e/o. She's so amazing to me in every way except the intimacy. I am just hurt by this.. I feel selfish, and I feel like I am not seeing her for all that she is. I am trying so hard to give her 100% of my attention instead of looking towards other people to give me what I am missing. I can't get everything from another person, and I know there are things that only I can do for myself. But when it comes to being in love and not having the intimacy it really hurts. Maybe I need to just move on. I don't want to hurt her, but my depression is hurting her, and she is hurting me by not giving me what I need. We have talked about it over and over again, but I am sooo tired of beating a dead horse.. nothing is happening. I'm sorry that this has turned into a rant, but I have to write about it, because I am stressed over this. I need sex so bad! I'm just extremely over-due and she has no desire to give it to me. Help! I think I am going to try and find a booty call.
  12. Girl, are you still goin through it? I don't know if you've followed my experience, but I am still going through it too. It was supposed to get better, she promised me she would try harder, but once again.. Valentine's Day, and no intimacy. *sigh*
  13. Thanks you all. Just an update.. We exchanged promise rings.. It's pretty exciting.
  14. I'm planning to attend a Church tomorrow morning. The first accepting Church I've ever been to, so it will be a new experience for me. I'm looking forward to it. I hope I don't get nervous and decide not to go. I'll have to get some good rest tonight, so that I don't give myself the excuse to sleep in.
  15. My dad's friend wasn't Religious, but I don't know if he was an Athiest. Anyways, he was a veteran so they did a memorial service at the veteran's cemetery, and there was a Christian Minister there. In the middle over the sermon when she started giving people the opportunity to come up and be saved, his son stood up and said "My dad wouldn't have wanted this". So they had a little argument, and finally she stopped. That was the most stressful funeral I had ever been to. wow. I think that if you really care how your funeral will be, make sure you pre-pay for things and have it in your will. I know your young and don't want to do that now, but if you care you'll do that. Other than that, you'll be dead so aside from how your family feels, you will be dead, so you will have no say about it.
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