Tell Me Why

Thanks! On the way home from work today my phone rings and its her, I didn't answer it and now I am wondering why she was calling. I think I am going to break NC again in a few days and text her "Hope you and Pumpkin are doing well" or something like that. I don't see any harm in that.

I have to start all over again. I broke NC today and I'm really frustrated. She sends me a text message asking if I'm going to Texas, I had to go for my work and I got back last night. I ignore that text, then I get an email on my work email that says "Are you in Texas, you shouldn't go because of the swine flu". I wanted to ignore it, but I caved in and replied with a simple email: "I already went to Texas and I got back last night, I'm pretty sure I don't have the swine flu". Later she responds saying "Ok that's good". Why did she contact me? What is her motive? Why is she acting concerned about my well-being all of a sudden? I shouldn't have broken NC but I did. But I do feel like my response was just a friendly, innocent response.

Still hurting and wishing she would call me. I am worried she thinks I no longer care about her, since she mentioned that me doing NC was selfish. I am thinking about maybe sending her a text and just saying "I hope you and Pumpkin are doing well". Pumpkin was our dog, who is pictured in my avatar. Not only do I miss her, but I miss him to death. I always took care of him, fed him, and walked him every day, he's like my son. Would there be any harm in just texting and asking how the dog is??

These past two days have felt like an eternity. I moved out on Saturday, we had brief contact that day and so Sunday was my first real day of NC. She actually called, I was on a plane at the time and it went right to voice mail, the voice mail was just her thanking me for leaving the house so clean when I moved out and said she hoped everything with my new apartment was going well. Today was Day 2. I thought about her all day. She didn't contact me and it has made me feel worse. I just wish she would call me and want to talk to me. I just wish she were here with me. I just wish I could hold her. I miss her a lot but I know I have to stick with NC and stop worrying if she calls or not.

I just moved all my stuff out today and am about to start DAY 1 tomorrow. We had brief contact today as I was moving out. Tomorrow I start the journey of NC and I am really scared about it. Any advice for someone brand new to NC?