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bluexin99

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  • Birthday 06/25/1989

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  1. One minute we were holding hands and telling each other how much we loved one another. The next minute, we became complete strangers. I admit I am finding it incredibly hard in confronting myself that we are no longer together. I think about you every now and then - you are still the first person I think of every single morning. I guess the hardest part of this all is that there was not a single warning that all of this would happen to us. I think I deserved a signal so that I could mentally prepare myself for all of this. I used the exam period to distract from thinking about you but now that it is over, you are creeping back. Life is going to be so different now you are no longer a part of it. After all, you have taken a part out of it. So now, I have to find something else to replace that missing part. I wanted to talk to you after it happened but you didn't want to. I felt insulted because you rejected me so I told myself that I would not approach you ever again - and I won't ever do that because I have dignity. I did not do the wrong thing yet I am the one that should beg you to talk to me? I don't get this anymore. I know you're embarrassed and that you don't want to see me. I know subconsciously, I haven't give up on our relationship and that I am lingering onto a final speck of hope that you would approach me. However, I know the harder I hope, the more disappointed I will be. It's probably never going to happen because you have the reasons to not want to see me again. I will give myself another 4 days - if at 12:59:59PM on the 25th June 2012, you still have not approached me then I will officially kill off that desperate speck of hope. At most I can tell myself that I will be over you one day. I will get better. I will stop feeling crap about all of this. Someday, my mind will not even spend a second on you. You will stop being the first person nor the last person that I think of each and every day.
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