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bexcelant

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  1. bexcelant
    It has been three months and a day since I last spoke with her on IM. Honestly I wish there were things I could have said and done differently that day but over time, I have come to realize the emotional betrayal of what she did to me. I wanted her back in my life. I knew her as friends for over 10 years. It looked like in June things were really heating up finally. But she met a guy, and in two weeks got pregnant, 12 weeks later married him and told me to take a hike over a stupid excuse to get rid of me. As they say, a friend who betrays you was never a true friend. I realize the utter and total disregard for how I felt. I asked myself, is this what someone would say or do to me if they truly cared about how I felt? Is this someone who would stand by me no matter what? These things I did not realize when I was going through it at first. Now I look at it like I dodged a bullet and you know what they say, what goes around comes around. She is his problem now. She can take her anxiety issues, PTSD, hypervigilance, and her crazy pills and new baby and he can deal with all that. Good for him and good for her. Part of me wishes I still had her as a friend but then well..life goes on. I am now ok with it whether or not she ever comes back or not.
  2. bexcelant
    There once was a man from Nantucket... LOL
  3. bexcelant
    That was beautiful and now I will post my own of what could have been. Dancing Girl Twirling, laughing, spinning Carefree dancer Betrayal and pain and the dancer was gone Searching searching always searching Who am I? Where is my father? Won't someone love me? Happiness smiles laughter Twirling, smiling, spinning Moments frozen in time
  4. bexcelant
    No contact has helped me heal although I have always been hoping against hope that my girl would come back to me. It has been two months of no contact and for the first time today, I spoke to her and she informed me that she had an accident and was pregnant. I was shocked to say the least. Well there goes any hope of her coming back sigh....
  5. bexcelant
    Three months and ready to move on? Or wait for reconciliation?
  6. bexcelant
    A Bird??? I thought this was about Squirrels and Nuts!
  7. bexcelant
    hang in there..the first couple of weeks are the worst.
  8. bexcelant
    SuperDave's advice is perfect for those who got their heart stabbed and shattered into a million pieces by a dumper. Even then, complete no contact doesn't work because one must expect to get bloodied up a little if you want to win back your love. Leave them alone and although they will never forget you, they also will move on with their lives leaving you wondering if they will ever come back. Engage them and keep the lines of communication open if you are able to take it. I still think a 4-8 week cooling off period is good and perhaps longer to get your head straight and your emotions right. Don't be afraid to live life and make new friends and date new people. For guys, if your girl is dating another man, think of going back in as entering enemy territory. You are going back in to gather intelligence. As I said before, do this if only you can tolerate heartbreak and are able to play the game. If you can't then stay away. Think of yourself as the White Knight. If you are the knight, you will be able to fight and not be afraid to get bloodied up in the process. If you aren't the White Knight and you are afraid to pick up the sword, then stay the hell away and wait and see if you lady comes back in the future.
  9. bexcelant
    Only works if you got dumped. If you did the dumping or if the relationship is in the new phase or going from friends to more...doesn't work.
  10. bexcelant
    When breaking contact, I think even for the person who got dumped, it's ok to send an email wishing them well. Think of it as the initial opening. How much are you really risking there? A few lines on a computer screen and a finger to push send. Just don't come accross needy. Everything is going great etc etc etc. Think of this as the LC phase. It'll be awhile before you get to a face to face again anyway but look, outta sight out of mind. NC is dangerous if you are employing it to get your ex back. If you are the dumper, it's easier to go back but if you're the one who got dumped, then it's harder to break contact. Still, there is a level of fear when breaking contact and I've been on both sides. Breaking contact from the dumpers perspective is unnerving cause you know they might be mad at you and that the ex might have moved on without you. Breaking contact from the dumped perspective is unerving because you have been well rejected. Someone has to make the first move. As to who does it, it doesn't really matter. Just send a quick email. You might not hear from them, you might. Who cares. They will read it. Just to keep them in the loop to keep em thinking about you. Extended time periods of NC can leave both people feeling like the ex doesn't care anymore. So they just move on with their lives and find other people. Bottom line is this...are you willing to get a little bloodied up? There are no guarantees in life in anything but as for me, I'd rather go down swinging. No regrets.
  11. bexcelant
    I didn't say go in full in with guns blazing...I said to reestablish some contact after 4-8 weeks. Now that doesn't mean you're going to get back with them but you can live your life without them and go about yours. You are going to have to show them that you are a vibrant person with a life. Going strictly no contact would be difficult to establish that. Now I suppose if you were in a long relationship and going through a divorce, you might need a bit more time to heal than the 4-8 weeks. However, only you will know when the time is right to break NC.
  12. bexcelant
    It's because what I said in the reconciliation thread. STRICT NO CONTACT DOES NOT WORK!!!! You have to engage the other person after 4-8 weeks of No Contact otherwise the other person will move on without you. They might come back but I think your odds decline a lot after that. Remember, the phrase outta sight outta mind. When you do engage after 4-8 weeks remember to keep it fun and light. Guard your heart. Go back in expecting the worst but with the attitutude, nothing ventured nothing gained.
  13. bexcelant
    its only embarrasing if the girl is sitting on your lap and she's not your girlfriend.
  14. bexcelant
    Ummmm..well that is bad. But dayum is she hot!! Smart too and working on her PhD. Like..ok..I"m thinking I gotta give this one my best shot. Hey have you ever thought that the super hot ones are typically with a boyfriend or lining up their next guy? Like there is no downtime after a relationship? Maybe its not the healthiest thing but it might be reality. That's why us guys need to step it up and be ready to go there when the opportunity exists. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
  15. bexcelant
    hah, guys can get that way just in close proximety or thinking about it. That's when you start doing mathematical formulas in your head. Although by and large, I've found this does not actually help. LOL
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