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HoTung

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  1. I feel really low today - I want to ring him just to hear his phone ring but i don;t want him to know its me. I can hide my number but i think he will know its me.
  2. No he did that was the stag do before - he had another stag do the weekend i spoke to him and thatone he said he didn;t do anything Not heard from him since tho - he doens;t miss me
  3. oh yeah i remember he said its been a coupld of stressful months with me and he just wanted to go out and forget everything and enjoy himself I have been out with him for 14 months i know he doens;t get drunk that easily - all excuses
  4. I am not sure whether he said that to make me feel worse or better - i don;t get it either He sent me a text 2 days after the phone call saying "Just 4 ur info, Had an awesome weekend. Didn;t snog any chicks as u presume. U really dont know me. Hope u had a good weekend" i didn;t reply Not heard from him again
  5. Can someone tell me how long should NC last for? I lasted 24 days and then broke it. I called him and ended having an argument because i found out he had a meaningles kiss with a girl at a stag do 2 weeks beforehand ( he told me) he also said it was cos i ignored his call and email. When do boys actually start missing you? I am back on NC and have been for 11 days now. He texted me last sunday but there was no question so i didn;t reply. He said he was going to call and he hasn;t and usually when he says he wil do something he does I think i have lost him forever - don;t u think?
  6. yeah and i found out he had a drunken snog at a stag do two weeks ago - the weekend after he last contacted me ...he said it was meaningless but i haven;t even looksed at another bloke. He really has no intention of any reconciliation with me
  7. i think the same as u...does my ex miss me? then today i caved in and called him and he told me had a drunken snog - i was so hurt - he is obviously over me
  8. i failed and called and emailed him today - i am useless
  9. After 22 days of NC on my part - i failed and emailed him a one liner regarding a ticket. i really did try to have NC but today was I was bursting to talk to him. I even called him loads of time but his phone has gone to voice mail (I think it is off as no ring tone what so ever). I feel so uselss - i really want him back help me please? what should i do?
  10. We had 3 weeks of no contact before when he went to the stated for holiday and work. he came back to tell me he missed me but not enough to have a lasting relationship with me. That was the day before we last spoke. Do you think he will change his mind and miss me? I was the one who said i couldn;t handle the friendship anymore - esp as each time we've seen each we can;t resist temptation. We broke up in Jan but never really started NC until he went to the stated on the 10th March and No contact from the 1st April. But everytime we have contact and something happens - I feel like i am back to square 1. 10 steps forward 9 steps back. And its like we are breaking up over and over again. In the last email he sent me he said he was going to post me a CD with our photos which i requested a long time ago but I have still not received it and its been two weeks already. I really miss him
  11. If ur ex contacts you and u don't respond does that count as No Contact? Or does no contact apply when no contact from either party. Last time he contacted me was the 10th april - last time i actually spoke to him was 1 april. I am finding it really hard - is NC really the best thing? It really hurst today
  12. Super dave - I am new here - please can you read my last post and advise.
  13. Hi, (Sorry this is a very long post) I am new here, but i have done all the wrong things. My ex and I broke up in Jan after a awfull Xmas, his family were here and I never felt accepted. I was never invited out with them and that hurt. He said i was not understanding as its the first family xmas they had in years. It was also my 1st with him as last year he went skiing. He said he saw a different side to me during this time and broke it off. Prior to this we have talked about marriage, kids, moving to oz. We had a massive argument when we went Ice Skating and he left me there. The signs were there. I didn;t hear from him in 2 days. When i texted him he said he been sick and woudl call to talk. In the end I called him and he said he thinks we not right and wants to break up and i said u going to break up with on the phone. In the end we agreed to meet over the weekend to talk and think things thru. He called during the week and he said he missed me and all that. So that weekend i went to see him and as he was sick we didn;t mention us. I made him some food and left and he hugged me really hard. The following week we met up and he said he thinks it better we break up and that he doens; t want to waste my time. No point going out for another 2 years and then breaking up with me. He is 30 and I am 36. I kind of knew it was going to happen. But then one thing led to another and we ended up in bed. I said lets give it another chance and he agreed. He then fell asleep and when i work up i said "you don;t have to stay if u don;t want to" (hoping he would say he would stay) and then he said he was all confused and he came to break up with me but now in bed with me. He said his heart is not in it anymore. There were tears ( i have never seen him cry) and i drove him home and picked up my stuff. I wrote him a letter the night before not knowing the outcome and basically told him how much i had missed him. That night, he sent me a text saying " sorry for not being able to bethe boyfriend you wanted me to be" and I replied " you were more the the boyfriend i wanted" and i began to blame myself. I said everything was my fault, if my temper wasn;t so bad he wouldn't have left me. I never felt he cared or showed his affections. That first week, he called me mid week ( i didn;t answer), he sent me a text on the friday ( i didn;t reply) and then the sunday he wrote me a long email explaining why he broke it off with me. I got angry and called him the next day, saying tehre was no need to reitarate the break up, why is he doing this? cos of guilt? we ended admitting we were missing each other but decided we give each other a break. We ended up getting intimate on the phone. Two days later he emailed me to say hi but i didn;t reply. Then a week later i called him and he was different and he said we agreed to have NC. I was really hurt. The a couple of days later he called me as it was Chinese new year and i was like " why are u callng me?" So basically we kept talking to each other - at least once a week since the breakup. Each time i would tell him i missed him or loved him or asked him why he broke up with me. Each time my emotions were up and down as he admitted he missed me and cared. But i guess he just doesn;t care enough. We arranged to meet up and he said i was hostile towards him but i just said its feels like he is over our realtionship and it never meant anything to him. He said he missed me and one thing led to another we endede up in bed again. I didn;t stay the night. The next day i felt rubbish and called him saying how could he do that to me. I lost my respect. he said it was a moment of weakness and woudn;t happen again. The week after was my birthday and he found out from friends i had a party and initially i didn;t invite him but in the end i said u can come and he did. My female friends gave him a hard time and i think he felt weird. The next day was my actual birthday and he took me out to dinner and bought me flowers. Actually went to a posh restaurant. I drove him home and didn;t get outthe car but we had a proper kiss. The following week he was off to the states for work and was going away for 3 weeks. So during the week i called and wanted to meet up - i told him i missed him so so much, nearly begging and we ended up kissing in the car. I offered to go back with him and he said he couldnt; do that to me. We spoken on Thursday, friday every night. He'd call to say good night ( like we used to when we were dating). On sat i called him and said iw anted to see him and he said yeah. We got a video and then one thing led to another. We agreed to have 3 weeks of No contact while he was away to see how we felt and i guess i lived on false hope. We kept to our words and had no contact. When he called after he got back, he was all friendly with me, but deep down i knew nothing had changed. He called me that night to say good night and i asked him out right and said "so what's ur decision?" He said he did miss me but not enough to have a lasting relationship with me. I got really angry and upset. i said u never had any intention of getting back with me, but u led me on to think we had a chance. I lost my respect and dignity. he goes we can be friends. I said no we said that befroe and we couldn;t. I am not going to friends with benefits. i said you can blame moment of weakness once but its happened more than once. I was truly hurt. He said its late and he can;t talk and nothing is going in and he'd call me later in the week. The following day I called him ( this was April 1st 2008) and i just had a go at him ( i know its the wrong thing to do - i know i am part to blame) I was just so angry. I told him exactly how i felt and hurt i was and how i think he used me. He assured me he didn;t use me for sex but it meant something. I asked him why he wanted me in his life so much as a frined - he said cos we spent 14 months together and it would be a shame and i was his most important person during that time ( he has never said this before - i am the one who says this). He goes i will call u late in the week and if u don;t want to talk to me - u don;t have to pick up. This was the last day i actually spoke to him. He called on the sat but i didn;t pick up. He left a voice message saying he would call next week. The following week, he sent an email, saying he is going to give me my space as he knows i donl;t want anything to do with him at the moment. He hopes one day i can forgive him fro breaking my heart and sorry for spending time with me before he went away and it wasn;t just for physical reasons. He cares and always will. (this was from april 10) That was the last i heard from him. I am still hurting. When i fall in love I fall 150% and it hurts. I find myself checking his facebook profile and if he is on line i wonder if he checks mine. I honestly don;t know what the right thing to do is. Of course i want him to call me but it doens;t do me any favours. He brokeup with me but he constantly calls me - I donlt get it. he is being selfish and not letting me go either but i think he has got the message now butthat hurts This Sunday, I heard from a friend of a friend who works with him, that he is enjoying single life and having fun - that really hurt. Makes me think he is fine without me. There is me feeling guilty if i even look at another guy. I just don't know what to do - its driving me insane. Is he over me? Should i reply? I feel so useless N.B When he came back from the states he told me he not even looked at another woman the whole time we have broken up. N.N.B He also said in the last phone call "why do i have to be so black and white?" - i said i have been in a grey area for 2.5 months and its unfair. I felt like i was still his Girlfriend but without the tag, we'd still talk on phone,, meet up and have sex. It just hurts. I want to believe him when he says it does mean something but honestly how am i meant to feel. He doesn;t love me anymore does he? Why does he want me in his life so much?
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