lalala

i think it's still possible. i got back together with my ex too soon - similar reasons for breaking up. and now we're apart. so, i don't think you should date yet either. i think if you can, maybe you can spend some time apart. it really brings the depth of how much you love each other to the surface. i worry that you're sticking around her while she's into being friends, because that, in a way, makes it easier for her - she doesn't have to go through the pain of missing you, 'cause you're around. it's really important that you can get to the base of her fears. if you're the One, then what's holding her back from being able to envision ongoing commitment? are you still couriering? is it a money issue? family? getting stuck in a rut was awful - i went through the same thing. but when my ex and i tried to get back together, nothing really changed. i was afraid of hurting X again and X didn't really do anything differently. maybe i'm old-fashioned, but i'd say, surprise her. buy tickets to something (a show, a weekend away in the country, whatever) that you'd never do before. if you never make her breakfast, make her breakfast. whatever it is you never did, surprise her with it. show up on the doorstep with flowers (or something romantic), but don't assume that you'll stay the night. make her remember how special you are and why she should hang on to you. if you can remember little things that perhaps you disagreed on in the past, it might be sweet to incorporate those things - showing that you'll go out on a limb for her, even if it means listening to some awful music she likes, or whatever. this is too long a post, but if there's some way to contact me off-forum, and you want more ideas, i'd be happy to write. you posted a while ago, i hope things are well with you.