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secret_agent_man

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  • Birthday 07/31/1981

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  1. LOL, I think that [the facial thing] is just fiction/urban legend, people have discussed the "facial" and "hair growth" properties of ejaculate before. Obviously there's no harm in it (providing that it is your own or a trusted partner's). The only possible benefits for skin care would be that it's high in protein... but there are no doubt MANY other products on the market that would have more benefits. Anyway, if it's your own, and you're not sexually active yet, then you've got nothing to worry about. Past that... if you become sexually active, then you could potentially pass herpes or any other genital STD/STI to your mouth. All in all, it's not a big concern, but if you worry... go get an STD/STI test! It's easy and free, and if it comes back clean you know you're all set. Hope that helps! S.A.M.
  2. Agreed. You are trying to move on, and you let her know that... so now is the time for you to do that. Ignore any attempts she makes to contact you... like Avman said... hang in there and be strong by yourself. You did the right thing for you, and that's what's important S.A.M.
  3. Diva, that line basically should re-assure you that you're not being overly insecure here... But, you are definitely on the right track with "she doesn't respect me, so she's not my true friend". On the other hand, she may not even realize what she does, so talking to her may make her see the light... Don't jump into an argument without seeing her reaction to this first, ya know? S.A.M.
  4. Agreed on this one. It's not that you're insecure, it's that she's disrespectful of her friends, obnoxious, rude, and she most likely is the one that's most insecure (from the way you describe things). There are certain lines that shouldn't be crossed, and friends should respect those boundries. If you're uncomfortable with the way she's acting, then I suggest you at least make an effort to explain this to her. If she's a true friend, she'll try to see your side of it... Good luck, diva! S.A.M.
  5. QTpie, to get more smilies, just click on the "View more Emoticons" link under all of the smilies, and it will pop up a window... it's easy from there! Anyway... on to Assassin. First off, don't be ashamed of your feelings. Like you said, she's attractive, so you're attracted. There's not much you can do about that, it's human emotion working it's magic . I personally think it would be wrong to persue this, though... only because of typical values and morals that I'm sure you're well aware of. I know what you mean though, when I was about 13 years old I had a huge crush on my cousin. It faded with time, and now I see her as just a beautiful relative. (thank god for that one, it makes me less depressed at the holidays when I look at the REST of my horrid family ) ANYWAY, as I said, I don't think it would be a good idea to persue this, and she probably wouldn't be mad... but she would most likely be very uncomfortable if you told her. I think you've got a crush because she's the first girl you've met that (like you said) actually fits into what you're looking for. There are plenty of other girls out there that are just like her, but without the family connection to ya. I say just give it time, and let this one fade. If you get too caught up in your cousin, you might miss out on your future wife when she walks by right in front of you. S.A.M.
  6. HA! That was a tough one, I had to write it down! (well, no, I didn't, but I should have!) Anyway... that's exactly what I mean. I trust my close friends, and I know they wouldn't cross those lines with me (they know my wrath). The problem would be with a new girl, and the people she hangs out with. I'm really stuck, wondering why all this "girls gone wild" has changed the actions of just about everyone I know (guys included, don't worry). It seems that sex, trust and commitment have all been made out to be "meaningless" these days. That saddens me greatly. The worst part of it is, that media promotes all of this... but only because that's what the public wants! I can't ever blame the media for cheapening any of this stuff, because it's a business, and if people want to buy cheap thrills, then someone's gotta sell it. Unfortunately, there's people like you and I out here too, and we're getting fewer by the day. S.A.M.
  7. Chicamaja, I think, more importantly than lying to your boyfriend, you are lying to yourself. You are telling yourself that you didn't do anything wrong, and that it will just go away with time. The fact is, since you posted it on here, you're obviously thinking about it. Hence, it hasn't gone away, and most likely will not. I think a clear mind is the only way to be true to yourself and the people around you, so I would suggest that you discuss what happened. He will probably be angry, as he probably should be, but at least you will know that you tried to make the best of a bad situation. If you can do that, you should be very proud with yourself. Nobody can change the past, and nobody should regret it... but the one thing we CAN do, is better ourselves from our past mistakes. If you can suck up your pride and tell him about all of this, you will have gained something from that mistake. You will gain the power of knowing yourself better. If you don't discuss it with him, then you will always have it in the back of your mind... that you couldn't get the strength to be honest with someone you care about. Please keep in mind that these are only opinions, but I have been on both sides of the fence with this one, and I learned that honesty is one of the most important things in relationships, and also in life. Good luck with it all, I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do!
  8. This is short and sweet, I think I can get my point accross in a few lines on this one . The question I have for you is... If she does "look down" on you because you're an inch, or even 10 inches shorter than her... is that the kind of girl you really want to be with? Think about that one... If you give it a shot and she rejects you because of a small height difference, then she's got issues that you don't want to even deal with. Love comes in many forms, and if she's going to look at it in that way, you're better off finding someone who cares more about who you actually are. S.A.M.
  9. Thanks QTpie! I'm not really going through a whole lot, though. It's not going to keep me up at night or anything, it's just something I'm curious about. We grew up together, really. That's why we trusted eachother so well, and that's why we were such great friends... even now, we are not in contact, but we are best friends even today. It would just be too hard to remain in contact, I don't think it would be good for either of us. Like I said, I'm comfortable with all of that now. I'm not really concerned over my past relationship... I still trust that she would have been honest with me. I know there are a few good-hearted people out there, and I know I'll eventually find another one... but the only hard part is knowing that I already had one, and I don't know how many other opportunities I'll get. I guess what I realized from my friend's situation is that even the people you think you know better than your own self can turn in the blink of an eye. Unfortunately, I don't like feeling that way... Maybe that will change with time, but the more people I meet, the more it seems true. S.A.M.
  10. Hello all! I have something... and it's not really a question; more of something I wanted to get opinions on and discuss. I was with my ex-fiancee for 5 years, we had ups and downs, but all in all it was a great relationship. It eventually ended (after being engaged for 6 months) when she got a little nervous/scared about the future of things. I completely respect what happened, and really what I want for her is happiness. So I am not bitter, I look back and smile on the great time we had together. As I said, we had downs as well... things weren't always easy, but through it all we were best friends. That's what really made it work. I am sad that it has ended, but at the same time I am at peace with it all. We got to clear things up, and hang out as friends for a few weeks before we stopped talking, so I am much more comfortable with things now. --[names have been changed to protect the innocent ]-- Then, I was talking to a friend Amy today. Amy and I were talking about my best friend Chris. He had split with his girlfriend almost a year ago, and they had a very unstable relationship anyway; we all knew it wouldn't last. Anyway, Amy told me that Chris' ex-girlfriend had been emailing, calling and "seeing" Amy's ex boyfriend. All of this was happening while everyone was still together. So, Amy and I don't know that those two actually "cheated" or not, but we have good reason to believe so. This was a surprise to me I guess, just because I hadn't heard about it before... it was a little bit of "tasting reality" I suppose. Now, what I am wondering to myself... My ex and I had a very close relationship, and I don't believe she would do anything like that, but now I sort of question all of my trust for her. It makes me upset at myself - because I know I have no reason not to trust my ex. But something inside me is sort of confused by all of this. I also know that talking to my ex, to ask her if she ever "did" anything that I should know about, would be wrong. But it's hard now, wondering if maybe I had blinders on just like my friend Chris. It's really hard when you think about the fact that you have no idea what someone else is actually thinking, and you don't know how their mind works. So, unfortunately, seeing as I probably shouldn't contact my ex about this, I think I'm losing trust for the world. I mean... I trust my friends as much as I should, but I wonder after hearing all of this: will I be able to be comfortable and open up to someone again? The sad part of this is that I don't even think for one second that my ex would be cold hearted enough to hide something like that from me after all these years, but still, I feel untrusting. I guess what it is, is that I'm afraid that at my age and in my situation, I'm going to have a hard time finding someone I can trust (like my ex). ouch, my head huts Any thoughts on this one??? S.A.M.
  11. Interesting topic! I guess it depends on what the object is, really, and how you feel about the relationship. For example... my ex and I just recently decided that we should just cut contact. We left on good terms, so all I have now is good memories. If I see a photo of her or us, it does bring emotion, but not all bad. These emotions are okay... as long as you don't live through them, or use them to "hang on" to the past. I can honestly look back and smile. As for "objects", I have many gifts from my ex. I have a coat and a jacket, a watch, etc. All of these things are things I like, and she knew that. She knew I would "want" these things; she didn't want these things to be symbols of our relationship. That's where the difference is. So, in short... if you feel awkward hanging on to these things, then by all means give them to someone who can enjoy them. But, if you still like them and want them for what they are (not to hang on to the relationship), then you shouldn't feel wrong for wanting to keep them. S.A.M.
  12. I agree with pretty much everything that's been said... He's dragging you down, and although there may be feelings (even true love), sometimes things just don't work out. I know that's a hard one to swallow, but in reality, some people can be in love but be too different to work together. I think he's confused, and you are more sure of who you are and what you want. He seems like he's going through that "big growing up" kind of thing, where you don't have any clue what's going on around you. Why was he mean to you? Nobody knows, but it's not the first time... trust me. He probably just didn't know any better way of expressing himself; again, this has to do with growing up and maturing. Did he like you romantically? I wouldn't doubt it. Keep in mind, though, that the heart and the mind are VERY different, and loving someone deeply doesn't always mean that you are compatable. I don't know in this case, but it seems you two have just grown apart, and he can't figure out the difference between what he knows, and what he feels. Feeling love or not for someone, and knowing that it will or won't work are completely different areas, but both combined to make or break a relationship. It seems you both care, but have differences as well, and he can't tell those two things apart right now. Enough time? Not in most cases. People that start to hit the big maturing stage tend to start to come out of it, and think they've matured and figured out life. It is actually a long process, but that amount of time depends on the person. I would guess that he's starting to at least figure out what's good for him or not, but does not know what he wants or feels just yet. So, to sum it all up, I'd say you're best to move on. It will be hard because he's left you so confused... but that's where friends come in. Don't play up to him, don't spill out to him, don't try to drag him back... let him do what he feels is best for him. Only then can he learn how life goes. On the other hand, don't worry so much about him right now, focus on yourself, and what you can learn from all of this. Don't regret, don't become bitter to relationships, but figure out more of who you are. Keep your friends close, and keep your head up! That's my advice, I hope I was of some help! S.A.M.
  13. Goincrazy, the only true way you know if any sexual encounter is safe is with testing. You are not a doctor (I'm just guessing, of course ), so you have no way of telling. When it comes down to it, there are MANY more things for you to be worried about than herpes, though. Herpes most likely isn't going to threaten your life... what about AIDS? Things like that should be your concern. Summerdreams, yes... a person with oral herpes can give someone genital herpes through oral sex. Oral herpes is usually HSV-1, and genital herpes is usually HSV-2, but they are not exclusive to those regions of your body. So... yes. You mentioned a pimple, and I would say that most likely you are right. After a heavy night of kissing, you usually have just irritated the skin around your mouth, and it is most likely just a blemish. If you are EVER concerned, though, I urge you to see a doctor. It's quick and easy, and they are the only ones who can ease your mind for sure. S.A.M.
  14. I can't disagree with anyone here! There's nothing wrong with you... you don't "choose" what to be attracted to, it's sub-conscious. Don't be ashamed of that at all! One thing to keep in mind though... if for some reason this does cause you some problems inside yourself; if you feel like this is tearing you up or something, go talk to a counsellor! That might ease your mind a little, because they can reassure that you are just as human as everyone else. Hope all of these responses help! S.A.M.
  15. Just a quick comment, bubba... You said a bump in the road? I want you to step back and think of it from a different angle, and you'll see that it doesn't have to be a bump in the road at all... in fact, it can be the biggest leap you've ever taken. What you are doing right now, by not calling her back, is what I'll call strength. You may have had to ask for advice, but the fact is: YOU HADN'T CALLED HER, and you have decided not to. That is a HUGE step in healing, and i commend you for it. Be proud of your inner-strength for that. Many others that have been put in your situation would have picked up and dialed without hesitation, but you stepped back and thought about something different... reality. Be proud you have that grip on reality, and you'll see that it wasn't a bump in the road, but a push foreward. S.A.M.
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