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neva_black_n_white

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About neva_black_n_white

  • Birthday 05/20/1988

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  1. everything about you is hidden behind the darkness that you exploit holding your emotions tightly in your palm no eyes of mine can see the harm that has been made by my own hands i try not to trick but this time was different and your fell through the net tears trickle capturing the light all of this ocean pours out and between it all are ounces of delight i sense your happy and from that i gain the excitement i have that youll live just perfectly again there was no need to worry about the means to and end it wasnt necessary to fret or to be friend because this was a lie that you held close to your heart something which couldnt be opened or caught in a glimse its a plan you cant deny
  2. trust is the only thing we can hold onto at times when hope has already been lost. no nothings worked out. its just difficult when someone then thrives to make something work... interesting when it was so easily thrown a way. i do like juxta posing situations.
  3. Hey. id like to explain a few factors about my poem.. just before it leads to misconceptions which i dont really fancy having placed on me. the poems a reflection about contrasting emotions in relationships and how it feels. i wanted to talk about how it feels to either knowingly be with someone who loves YOU less OR for you to knowingly be with someone who loves you more than you can offer THEM i think sometimes its difficult to understand two sides of a story.. i guess i wanted to have a shot at the side people might find most difficult to get their heads around. ive been in a relationship where ive knowingly felt less than the person ive been with. to me, it was an immensley overwhelming situation, upsetting, sereal yet incredibly eye opening, guilty almost and slightly resentful towards yourself. its hard to explain. maybe its for those people who think that little bit too much. you dont want pity for it. clearly its a more difficult for the recieving individual (to learn that their feelings arent recipricated). BUT i also feel that theres difficulties on the other side. maybe questions are raised. why dont you feel the way they do? maybe theres one glitch but really its rosey.. you just cant see that yet? how do you tell someone you dont feel how they do? at what point should a relationship be stopped knowing this? should it be ignored so long as the relationships enjoyable... but then again... why prolong a pain that could be easily enhanced for both parts? i think these situations can be difficult sometimes. one of those.. i cant see a light at the end of the tunnel. something that cant be justified maybe. i mean, in my predicament, i found that i couldnt find a fault with them. i didnt have a reason for not wanting to be in their company, enjoying their company. i was just aware that i didnt feel the same. its hard to deal with. how do you end something that isnt bad but isnt right. i just wanted people to have a little think. maybe this is something that just bemuses me. ive got lots to say but its getting muddled up. maybe someone else has a small analysis or theory. who knows. but anyway, i felt like it was something i needed to say. neva x p.s. for those reading. well one specific person. it isnt aimed at you. it was a small lasting situation that i never saw coming. i personally learnt that you should never use anyones emotions - even if they dont see you as hurting them... sometimes you just know you will *get me?*
  4. Emotions rise In which temptations occur A heart meant to bleed for you Yet I’m still lured I don’t find this attraction As strong as I should I’m hoping that you don’t pull on this rope Love won’t withstand a tug I hold onto the hope That my emotions don’t shine through I try not to lead to temptation As that’s not how id want it for you Your eyes keep a grip so strong Yet mine led a stray Not to what you’d expect But my heart wishes not to obey Secrets are kept In ways clear to both you and I Holding doors shut Doesn’t keep you outside I try not to speak out But my hearts screams to How can I hurt a man with the words “I don’t love you” When it’s all he lives for?
  5. chuckles, thanks. it seems like were able to relate to a lot of the same situations, or atleast emotions. thats pretty cool. i suppose you can be as eratic as me then? a little stressful at times, it must be admitted! neva x
  6. thanks. thats really kind. i havent been on for a while.. i suppose its because i feel like i dont need to (not in a selfish way..but i think you get what i mean). just felt like i needed to say a few things, so i came back
  7. thankyou for all the responces its nice to see all the interpretations neva
  8. is a hope of freedom, a new door opening and and end to a situation that i resent
  9. with arms open and a grasp so firm it takes the peak of all my emotions in order for me to learn with eyes hoping and a tear to signal this love its the height of these feelings that i turn and look above with eyes facing towards the light and a convincing theory in mind its a hope that these tears are burnt away no love or fear left behind
  10. late nights and creeping floor boards i see a crack that holds no barriers a door open and within sight what story will this tell tonight you hold your hands out, signal me in grasp onto my fingerips, im drawn within tip toe gently, dont set of a stir hopefully people, dont grasp that im here im lead through the door way, into the room lit with vibrant lights, a taste of elatedness through - out of the darkness and into the light caressing the surface, no fright tonight keeping eyes fixated, surroundings so clear smiling faces are cherished, celebrated and dear takes in the fixtures through each of the senses prey the night continues, taste of life never ending wont you leave the door open for me tonight?
  11. I also dont think anyone should be branded. I walked into the relationship having known he had cheated. that was a fresh start for him. not once a cheat always a cheat. he just proved that line. Unfortunatley things dont work out, regardless of the strength of emotions a relationships may contain. i suppose it comes down to circumstances, reasoning, feeling etc.
  12. i doubt it would stop him from cheating again, he slept with his last girlfriends friend. he had apparently fallen for her too, but i suppose nothing could stop him. he blamed it on alcohol. but i dont agree, he can remember what was happening, and surely he could remember who and where his girlfriend was. maybe it slipped his mind? i think its taken too far to be honest. i dont think i could ever trust him again. that aside, i dont believe anyone can be perfect, only perfect for someone else. so i dont think im the most angelic person, i suppose i just feel strongly about this. neva x
  13. I didnt even know people were still responding to me thread. thanks guys. i dont trust him. even if mistakes are possible, i cant stay with him. my head plays too many games with me and i get self conscious. suppose its out of my hands (in a bizarre way) Thanks though x
  14. Yeah. I agree, even when weve met up and ive felt comfortable i just end up thinking about it. agreed on this one. take it its a lost cause. stress. we shall see x
  15. Hey guys. Sorry about the deletion Caer, ive said things a little heated before without negative intent, but its just how the rules go **big smile** I agree with the whole "cheating isnt black and white", i think thats what im trying to figure out now. its hard to isolate the real problem. I mean, its out of his general nature, he is genuinely apologetic now and has done a lot of things to prove himself. its just the issue of trust and attempting to understand why he would do it, but, not only that, why he did it in such a close proximity to me. im not sure what to feel to be honest, slightly in limbo but greatful of all the aids on here. your a pretty big help guys! and aleic, dont you worry, i wont fall into a trap. ive already been told to make sure i dont get hurt and dont be made to look like the fool. ill walk away completely as soon as i sense either. just confused x
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