hellojello

This is a pretty complicated situation. I could make it short by telling you just about the recent situation, but then you might not understand it all! I'll go ahead and make it short though. I have a good guy friend, we've been flirting for years, but I've always been with someone else. Now I'm finally free, we rekindled our friendship, but he lives in a different town 3 hours away now, because he went off to college. We talk on the internet mostly, and the other day, he says "I'll be your valentine for V-Day" and I figured he was joking. He jokes around a lot about our feelings and stuff, like we kid around. So I said, really, he says yeah, and I asked if he was joking and he said no. I know he doesn't want to date, I don't either, but I wish we had back the flirting relationship we had before. I love talking to him and being close to him. I just wish I knew how he felt. I tried to talk to him about what had happened between us once, when we almost got together then I went back to my ex, and he didn't say much except that he didn't want to date because he gets scared and backs away when he is really close to someone. So I don't know. I guess I'm just looking for a guy's point of view...what he thinks about me. If I just am an annoyance to him, trying to get back what we had, but not date, or if he wants the same. Any advice?

Well, here I am feeling somewhat left out and on the opposite sideline as you guys. I'm the girl you are talking about (okay not YOUR girl, but a girl that left her bf bc of cheating...) and I kinda felt like you are my ex, just a different person. For her sake, for all the girls' sakes...I apologize. Even though I KNOW now that sorry is NOT enough. I understand that. But sometimes, you have to understand what we go through too. I don't know the whole situation with your ex, but in my relationship, I felt I was going no where. Yes we talked of marriage, yes we talked of our love and our future, but after awhile it was gone. I don't know if he saw my heart leaving or if it blindsided him when I did what I did, but either way, my heart wasn't in it. And you have to understand that no matter what happens, if the heart isn't in it, there is no relationship to speak of. I know that I could have broken up with him and ended it on better terms, but he wouldn't let me go without a fight. I knew I was too weak...and that if he had no reason not to want to take me back, he would do everything he could to do that. Sometimes it is better the way things turn out, and even though you can't see it right now, sometime, it will happen. What was meant to be will happen, and you will be so SO glad that you didn't interfere with that plan. I know you must hate me bc I am another one of the girls...but I'm just asking you see it from our side. Sometimes things aren't as good as they seem.

I just have some questions...are these relationships like in person are just over the net? I mean do you spend a lot of time with her in person? It kinda sounds like you don't, or with the other guy and her. Just wondering...

My two year bf and I just broke up. We said we loved each other, and I guess at one point I really did, but we broke up two weeks ago and we've pretty much gotten over it. I mean, I think I let go of him a long time before we broke up, so pretty much, this could be of no help to you! Plus I was the one that ended it...I was with another guy...but...if that helps in any way. He started dating, too...it's not just me. So who knows.

well, one time i kissed this guy who had like a little peach fuzz mustache. it was so gross. but one of my bfs had a goatee, i think, haha can't really remember, and it wasn't too bad. i just HATE mustaches. yuck.

My bf and I had been together for almost 2 years, it would have been in exactly a month. We kept fighting recently, almost constantly, and my thoughts of breaking up were more and more frequent. But last night, we got into a fight because all day hadn't been going good, and my friend was coming over. He was mad because we couldn't talk, and he said I didn't care about him at all to even try and fix it. So...we just broke up. I don't even know how it happened, all of a sudden, we were. And then he kept saying, well, since you broke up with me, you hang up. It was the phone was the only thing keeping us together. Finally, my friend came and I had to hang up...so I did. Now I feel like all of it could have been avoided had I said something different. Part of me wants to be with him because I love him and I haven't known anything else for 2 years of my life. But part of me knows it was the right thing to do. I want to know if he's alright. I want to know what he did last night. I want to know so much, and I know I can't call him. Should I call? What do I do? For once I don't have the answer, and I really am lost...I've abandoned all my friends, we have a class together, his face is everywhere...what do I do?

I think it just needs to be understood by both people that they are just that, friends with benefits. My friend was with this guy, and she thought they were dating, but he apparently just wanted to be friends with benefits, she was a lot more into than he was. It just depends on the people and what they are willing to do and commit or not commit to each other.

As far as I know, that would be pretty impossible. But one time my bf did lick a little too far..and it hurt cause my ear had water in it that wouldn't come out. It still kinda hurts actually...I think I may have gotten an ear infection from it. So be careful and don't stick it in too far!

I see where she is coming from, being a girl and all, I am scared that I might get pregnant. It seems more safe by pulling out and wearing a condom, but i may be just thinking too much about it. But saying she is going to cheat on you for it will just get her in more trouble cause the guy she does it with will probably cum too! I don't understand her thinking on that. Cheating on someone isn't the answer to a problem...talk to her about it. See why she said it and if she meant it, or where it even came from. And if she does then I guess definitely end the relationship, but watch out!

I understand how it can be so frustrating when everyone thinks sex is a huge deal at 15. I remember when I was 15 and when I heard my friends were having sex, I was just floored. I hadn't even thought about it. But trust me, as time goes by, people stop talking about, and everything starts talking about someone else. Sooner or later your girl will realize that she's not the topic anymore. But it might take her awhile to get over it. Girls, no matter how hard we try, can not forget humiliating experiences like that. But she can get over it. Just let her have some time for things to blow over, and then talk to her when you get a chance to be alone with her. Just tell her you made a mistake, that you still love her, and you're sorry. There's nothing to lose.

I just started college, as I've stated before, and my roommate was a friend from my old town. We never really hung out that much when we were in high school, because we hung out with different crowds, we were more of church friends. She's getting into a lot of trouble with everyone. She lies to everyone about where she is and who she's with. Her parents and friends call the dorm asking where she is, and I have to say I don't know because I don't. I really don't want to be her mom or anything, but I don't want her to become irresponsible and get hurt. She gets drunk a lot, and then drives, and that is irresponsible in itself. I know she came to stay at the dorm for freedom, didn't we all, but I feel like it is affecting me. I don't want to be the one to say, "No she didn't stay here last night, I don't know where she is." I feel responsible for her somehow. Being friends, she asked me to keep her accountable, and how can I when she gets drunk anyway? I can't tell her what to do. So what do I say to her?

I'm not an expert on interpreting dreams, but I do know when to take a hint. I've had dreams about people three or four times, and that's when I know to take action. I think your dream means that you are very much in love, but you're just worried about him getting hurt. Just make sure he knows how much you love him and care for him, and want him to be careful.

Well, I need more background info on this!!! Did she know she was getting one? Was she a good friend or a girl you just liked and she didn't know? A guy once gave me some flowers, and I felt really weird. BUT it was because I have a bf, and that guy was NOT my bf. Plus, we were out to eat with a lot of friends, and he just throws them in front of me, without any words, or nicely offering them to me. I was embarrassed, just because I didn't want them and didn't like the guy. She might have just been embarrassed because flowers are like compliments, and some girls can't take them very well. I would have gotten embarrassed too. Try to write her a nice note or talk to her about it. Apologize for embarrassing her, but tell her you meant well with the flowers.

I don't think she wants to be involved too much, but I do give her props for not leading you on if she didn't want to be. You have that to thank her for. Some girls will just waste your time by leading you on. So are you wanting to move on or can you just not get over this girl? This weekend was a holiday weekend, so she probably won't be back for awhile. That'll give you time without her and to check out some more girls!

I haven't read any other posts of yours, but this one really made me think. You have a great outlook on the break up and getting back together. It really was uplifting, thank you. I was wondering what books you read that helped you. My bf and I split up for a week and a half last summer, and after we got back together it was better than before. I always think that it helped us because we are still together. He still has a trust issue with me, and I want him to get over it, because it really hurts sometimes that after a year he still hasn't gained it fully back. Anyway thanks for the insight, and if you want you can just pm me with the books. Thanks!