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tobigahart

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  1. Hey buddy sorry but things don't look good. If she's having doubts this early on then she is telling the truth that she doesn't want to be with you. Regardless of whether or not there is another guy it doesn't really matter. You're just going to have to let this one go. She is being truthful in telling you that she didn't want to wait because the longer you were together the more it would hurt. I did the same thing to a girl once, left her after only 2 weeks and she totally adored me and I got along great with her parents. But often you are with someone with the hope that it might start to really work, but then you realise it's not going to and you have to move on. Be thankful she told you now and not later. Anyway, you'll find another one
  2. Hey I'm not girl but I'll tell you that you have nothing to worry about! I mean as if she's going to think any less of you for something like that? If she's a friend to you, you'll only get support. Not resentment. This is nothing and I'm sure both you and her have better things to worry about
  3. Jeez that was a long letter and yes I did read the whole thing! I'll tell you what, you really defined the saying "I think we need some time apart to sort things out" in that letter. You had some time apart, and hell you realised how much you really do love this girl and want to bewith her. As for her? If you're the one who left her, and she osn't over you yet then I reckon you actually have a really good chance. You managed to explain alot in that letter with regards how much you love her and want her and how you were so wrong in the past. If you ask me, if anything will get her back... then that letter will. You've taken your best shot with this one and I hope for the sake of the both of you that she crumbles at your words and takes you back in a second. Best of luck with this one mate, I really hope it works!
  4. Hmm tough one. Young girls have a nasty habit of being a little to flirtatious and alot of them do it for the attention. If you really know her then you should be able to work out for yourself what kind of girl she is. Is she out there just to have fun or is she looking for something more? I don't see any harm in telling her you're interested in her by I have no idea what she'll say, that's for you to judge. But if you think you've got the nerves and courage to tell her, then go for it. You'll either get what you want our find out she's not really what you want after all. Good luck mate.
  5. Hello! Unfortunately it looks like you are the victim here. There is nothing wrong with you or what you are doing. You really love this girl and she loves you to but she is doing the wrong thing by all three of you. She is cheating on her boyfriend (just by loving someone else), she is taking you for granted, and she is giving her heart more than it can handle. I really think that you need to talk to her about this problem. You need to tell her what she is doing and what she is going to do about it. She can't possibly believe that she can stay like this forever and she needs to know she has to do something about it. I would believe that her problem lies with her and her current boyfriend. It sounds like they have been together for a while and I can bet she is having a hard time just thinking about leaving him. And instead of confronting this problem, she is bringing you into the picture so she can forget about it. She needs to leave this guy. Obviously they are not meant to be otherwise she would never have gotten onvolved with you. She really needs to be strong and do what is right by all of you. And I reckon that if you hang in there, you might just have her in the end. Anyway, talk to her. Explain to her what she is doing and why it is so wrong. Help her work out why she needs to leave this guy. Don't feel selfish, like you are stealing her cause you are not. From the moment she admitted feelings for you, she had already left him. Now it's time for him to know...
  6. Hey there! You have to understand that this problem has absolutely nothing at all to do with you! This guy (however much you love him) is a very insecure and unhappy person. He has some major problems in life and is using you to hide them behind. He might love you and care about you alot but before he expects to have a meaningful relationship with anyone he is going to have to look after himself. There is no excuse ever for cheating or abusing and no person should ever have to tolerate this. definitely leave this guy behind. And yes it will hurt, but he is not ready for a relationship with you or with anyone else... You deserve someone who cares about you alot more than this guy did and someone who will look after you and make your needs and happiness a priority. I hope you can understand what I am trying to say and I hope you can do what's best for you and leave this guy behind. He has his own problems which he needs to sort out by himself.
  7. I guess you are feeling lonely now and maybe this is why you feel you need to be with this girl but I wouldn't let it control your life. Honestly, you are going to have to accept that you two can't be together and although this will hurt, providing you do understand that you cannot be with her you'll get through the pain. Someone else will come along for you one day and then it won't matter anymore. You have your whole life ahead of you and unfortunately sometimes they get away. Let her go, and make yourself available to the many more wonderful women there are out there.
  8. Hey mate I don't think there is anything wrong with what you're doing. If moving apart slowly seems all the more confortable for you both then that's what you should do, regardless of what other people think. And if you do try the long term relationship thing, and you do slowly drift apart, you'll still always have that special conneciton with eachother rather than just breaking the connection once and for all. You never know, in your time of long term being apart someone else might come along who really interests you (or someone for her) and you'll come to realise that it was never going to work being apart so much. Anyway at least you're not completely breaking down. If things don't work out how you would hope, just remember that there are plenty more people out there just like her and you will get the chance to fall in love again. Anyway, I hope you guys can sort things out and live happily ever after!
  9. Putting pressure on such a delicate situation like this will not work in your favour. The only thing you really can do now is to give her the space she wants and see if she changes her mind. As for you and contemplating suicide, I think that you have been using this girl to hide your real problems in life. No-one should need someone else to live, it's just not right and for her to know that she is the only thing that matters in your life can only be a negative thing. You have to understand that to be truly happy you have address your problems and sort through them rather than hiding them behind something else. It's not fair on this girl for you to be leaning your entire life on her and if you love her as much as you say you do, then don't you think you could find the will and motivation to move on with your life? I am not meaning to be putting you down here, just trying to let you know that there is more to life than just 1 person. You shouldn't be living for just one person. You can see the potential damage this can do to someone as you are feeling this hurt and lack of will to live right now. Can't you instead learn form your mistake rather than running away from it? If you can shoe her you can be happy you have alot better chance of getting her back, and if she still doesn't want you, well you're happy anyway right?
  10. Hehe I quite liked your analogy actually As for your situation, I think that if she really wants to give it another shot then she'll come to you. She after all is the one who broke it off so it's up to her to resume the relationship. She might not be ready for a full time lesbian relationship and maybe she wants to experience some of the other side too. If you have broken up four times already then obviously something is not quite right... You could try talking to her about it but I honestly don't think it's what she really wants right now. If it was, then I wonder why she hasn't come back to you. Best of luck with this, and don't worry if it doesn't work out. There are plently more people out there for you!
  11. Since you're only 14 there's not really a rush to go out and tell people. I don't reckon there would be many other guys your age coming out ofthe closet either so unless you feel you need to tell everyone, don't do it. You've got years anyway for things to happen and change and you're still very young. But if you do feel you need to tell you're parents then I really doubt anyone is going to care less. I think my little bro (17) might be gay and if he is then he's probably scared out of his mind of me or anyone else knowing but the truth is it wouldn't make a difference. People might make gay jokes and stuff like that (hell I do all the time!) but it does't mean they actually have anything against it. It's like blonde jokes- we joke about how they can be stupid but when it comes down to the individual blonde, no-one actually believes they are thicker than the rest of us. Anyway, just tell them when you're ready. There's no rush but they won't think any less of you anyway
  12. Hey mate I wouldn't be worrying too much yet. I don't know much about std's but I really doubt you'd be feeling the effects that soon after. Was it the first time you had sex? If so then this would be the reason you're feeling strange. If not, well maybe you did something different this time or perhaps the female in question was a little tighter than your average. Alot of strange things can happen down there that often we won't have a clue what the hell is going on but usually things will sort themselves out. Anyway the doctor should be able to clear things up for you. Best of luck with this, and don't start worrying until you know for sure.
  13. Hey mate, damn sounds like you're in love!!! As for advice? She'll kiss you when she's ready. I mean as if she wouldn't know you're keen? Take it easy... very easy! Don't apply any pressure to this situation. You've clearly put the ball in her court. If she want's to keep the game going, she'll have to return it Good luck!
  14. Heh I think that sometimes... Hmmm wish i had a oyunger girl that would be nice. Then I think, hmmm... with I had an older girl that wouldbe nice. I reckon more often than not it's just a variety thing. A change is as good as a holiday they say and like grantw said, you're alot funner when you're a younger person. More vitality, more joyous! Some guys who take young girls might be doing it because they are insecure, and being with someone younger makes them feel better about themself and more in control than being with someone on the same level as them. Anyway there are many reasons, and it will differ from guy to girl. As for myself? As I'm only 21 'younger' girls for me reside in the chaotic age bracket of teenagism, so frankly... I don't trust them For most people that's too young to be getting serious anyway. I hope that kind of helped, even just a little bit
  15. I hope we can provide you with support and answers too. I'm no doctor though, and I'm only 21 and don't know much about phobias (excpet my phobia of asking out women!!!) but I'll try my best. You may, just possibly, be feeling this because of something that happened to you in your past? It's just an idea but often cases like this are traced back to childhood or ever your teen years. We really need to know how long you've been feeling this. Also, how did it go when you met your husband? What it awkward at first or did it just seem right? How do you feel about yourself physically? You're comfy with your husband now, what about other people such as family and friends? Provide us with a few more details and we might be able to pin out down to somethign more specific. Other people will know alot more about this than me and I really hope you find what you want here. There are great people here and if anyone can help you, we can
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