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JimInNJ

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  1. David, I can feel for you right now. My wife of 20 years just up and told me that she was leaving me because she was unhappy and needed to think about things for awhile. She said she was going to rent a room from a friend. That was 3 months ago. I am taking care of my 2 boys ages 6 and 16. I found out that she is living with a male friend who she had only recently met. Now, my family and friends see her everywhere with this guy, in malls, clubs, restaurants and the movies. We're still legally married but she's acting like a single teenager. She has done everything to hurt and spite me......why I don't know. All I know is that I still love her and would take her back in a second. I can't believe I would even say that because how do you trust someone who has turned her back on her husband and her kids? Maybe I am screwed up or something. But my life is not the same without her. I am so lonely now. I feel as though my life is over. I haven't been happy in 3 months. I can't sleep, I've lost close to 30 pounds and I have aches and pains all over the place. Maybe we can help each other.
  2. My wife of 20 years walked out on my 2 kids (16 & 6) and myself three months ago stating that she was "unhappy" and decided to rent a room from a friend. I was also informed that I never did one thing for her in that time and that she was miserable since 1993 when I was involved in an auto accident that left me disabled. I didn't find out until about a week later that she had been carrying on an affair with her assistant manager at work since Christmas and he was the "friend" with whom she decided to move in. Did I mention that his wife had just left him and HIS 2 kids? For the first month I heard not a word from her but since that time she has been seeing my 6-year-old every Sat. or Sun. My 16-year-old wants nothing to do with her. When she was here she was contributing to our mortgage payment each month, but now, I am struggling to make ends meet. I live on a monthly disability check which covers very little, which she knows and doesn't care. Everyone on both sides of the family have tried to talk me into seeking child support and/or custody from her. The problem is that she carries my children and me on her company medical insurance benefit and has threatened to drop us if I pursue child support. ALSO.....her name, along with mine, is on the title of our home and she has again threatened to force me to sell the home to get her share of the equity (which is about $80,000) regardless of where her kids would go. And I can't possibly obtain a home equity loan to give her the share because I don't work and wuldn't be able to pay it back. For awhile I truly thought I still loved her and wanted her back. Now, I just don't know. I am lost without her but, obviously, I don't think she feels the same about me. Her parents have disowned her feeling that she turned her back on her children to which she replied: "He is a better father to the kids than I am a mother." Is that a cop-out or what? Her mom told her that she knows she didn't want the kids because they would interfere with her new single lifestyle. I thought we had it all.....cars, a new and bigger home, two healthy children and each other. Then this happened. She recently turned 41 years old and people told me that she was going through the "change." I don't know what to do. Can I trust her ever again if she was to return? I know this relationship will come crashing down and she has burned all of her bridges behind her so she would have no one to turn to. But how long do I wait? And, SHOULD I WAIT? I can't sleep at night thinking about what she's doing, I have lost over 30 pounds and am totally and completely miserable. Help, please before I do something drastic.
  3. I am sooooo stressed. My wife of 20 years walked out on my 2 kids (16 & 6) and myself three months ago stating that she was "unhappy" and decided to rent a room from a friend. I was also informed that I never did one thing for her in that time and that she was miserable since 1993 when I was involved in an auto accident that left me disabled. I didn't find out until about a week later that she had been carrying on an affair with her assistant manager at work since Christmas and he was the "friend" with whom she decided to move in. Did I mention that his wife had just left him and HIS 2 kids? For the first month I heard not a word from her but since that time she has been seeing my 6-year-old every Sat. or Sun. My 16-year-old wants nothing to do with her. When she was here she was contributing to our mortgage payment each month, but now, I am struggling to make ends meet. I live on a monthly disability check which covers very little, which she knows and doesn't care. Everyone on both sides of the family have tried to talk me into seeking child support and/or custody from her. The problem is that she carries my children and me on her company medical insurance benefit and has threatened to drop us if I pursue child support. ALSO.....her name, along with mine, is on the title of our home and she has again threatened to force me to sell the home to get her share of the equity (which is about $80,000) regardless of where her kids would go. And I can't possibly obtain a home equity loan to give her the share because I don't work and wuldn't be able to pay it back. For awhile I truly thought I still loved her and wanted her back. Now, I just don't know. I am lost without her but, obviously, I don't think she feels the same about me. Her parents have disowned her feeling that she turned her back on her children to which she replied: "He is a better father to the kids than I am a mother." Is that a cop-out or what? Her mom told her that she knows she didn't want the kids because they would interfere with her new single lifestyle. I thought we had it all.....cars, a new and bigger home, two healthy children and each other. Then this happened. She recently turned 41 years old and people told me that she was going through the "change." I don't know what to do. Can I trust her ever again if she was to return? I know this relationship will come crashing down and she has burned all of her bridges behind her so she would have no one to turn to. But how long do I wait? And, SHOULD I WAIT? I can't sleep at night thinking about what she's doing, I have lost over 30 pounds and am totally and completely miserable. Help, please before I do something drastic.
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