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#1: He wanted to take a trip around the world and wanted no commitments at home (18 months) #2: He said he never would propose until he was convinced I wanted children, which he never was, but also he never wanted to move back to the U.S. I broke it off (9 years) #3: Said he stopped having feelings for me (2 years)

i won't even begin to read your post. way too difficult. next time, put in some paragraph breaks, pleeeeaasssee!

you will heal. yes, it will take longer than if you did not see or hear from him, but it will happen, slowly, but surely. it was nearly 2 months after my ex broke up with me before i could move out. i realized now, the healing process did begin, but it really got into full swing after i moved out. but in that time i spent so much time analyzing this & that, that it was struggle not to go in the next room and confront him (i did twice, but i do not regret it - he needed to see me in pain at least once after the break-up). although it's been 3 months since he broke it off, i feel like i really have only had one month of healing. i talked to him today for the first time since August 28th. while living together, i tried as much low contact as possible, but that was nearly impossible. also, we work at the same place, so i would run into him on the train or on the bus or at the cafeteria. so what i did was try to avoid him whenever and where ever i could. i go to one of the other cafeterias (even now, where i feel good), i get in the bus one stop before the "usual" stop and sit in the front cause i know he always gets in the back. i do whatever i can to avoid him, but if i see him, i do not ignore him. i will flash a quick smile or head nod, then turn away. while getting on the train, i used to purposely look to the floor and not look around. i still do some of these things, but it gets better. since you see your ex weekly, mentally prepare yourself. tell yourself it will be okay before you see him. take extra time to get to rehearsal, add an extra walk around the block. syke (sp?) yourself up. healing might take longer, but you will heal. i cannot believe i am saying this - 10 weeks ago i was dying. today i feel good.

I have a been a lurker here for a good few months now and I am happy to say I've followed most, if not all the advice (SuperDave) proposed here after being dumped nearly 3 months ago. Because we lived together when he split up with me, I began LC. I eventually could move out at the beginning of Sept. I have seen him (we live in same neighborhood, work at same company), but not talked to him since the end of August. What he told me when ending it: "it was a gut feeling that something was not right and I stopped having any feelings for you" What he told his friends "she was pressuring me to get married and settle down and I'm not yet even 30. There is still so much I want to do with my life." In mid August I met someone. We've been on a few dates since then and he is well aware of my emotional situation. Hell, he even helped me move out. I'm not using the new guy for the "jealously" factor, we met through mutual friends, are also both new to the area and are having fun going out, getting to know the area (hikes and stuff) and just hanging out. But of course I do like the guy and am attracted to him otherwise I wouldn't keep spending time with him. But mutual friends of my ex and I know I've met someone new. One good friend asked if she should let this info slip and I said "there is nothing to hide" Nothing to report cause emotionally, I am not ready for a new relationship". But I know eventually it will get back to him. So, my question is, will this ruin my chances of getting back together with my ex if he gets wind that I am "seeing" someone new?