rs.dallaire
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I'm an old fart and I'm not familiar with that band. It's good that you have such influences but you'd be even more successful if you view these influences for what they are and inject more of your own self in the process. Good luck with the music!
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I like your song and how you've shaped it. Perhaps add a few images in your text so the message isn't so direct.
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What instrument do you play? Or are you the singer?
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Do you play music? Is this meant to be a song or a poem? In any case, PRS make this wonderful guitar called the PRS One. It would go well with your tune.