edpko

Yesterday, I placed a post about........She says she loves me, but isn't in love with me. All of the feedback I received was GREATLY APPRECIATED!! But anyway, when I returned home from work last night, it was the same old pins and needles feelings, walking on eggshells in my own house, with my partner. The night previous, she dropped on me the "I'm not in love with you anymore." She asks me, so what's your problem, are "you ina mood again." I replied, Uh, hello, I'm just a LITTLE hurt, wouldn't you be? She looks @ me with this blank stare like I'm some kind of nut for feeling bad and having my heart ripped out by her. She wanted a fight, confrontation, but I wouldn't give in, I'm just beaten down from it all. So I looked at her and said, give me one answer, do you want this relationship to go on, or do you wish to move on in your life? Are you happy with me, or would someone else or does someone else make you happier. For about 5 minutes, she just sat there, with a dumbfounded look on her face. Finally, I said, it's very simple, you want to be with me, or you don't; you know what I want, to be with you and make this work, but if you don't, I can accept that. Should you don't wish to be w/ me, we'll sell the house and go our separate ways, or I'll buy you out. The mention of the house sent her into histarics. Her mood changed from "I'm not giving up the house and I'll buy you out" to I don't give a damn about the house, the pool the car anything.....I started over before and will do it again. My reply was, so that is what you want then, I guess that means we are done. I said if that is the case, we'll put the house up tomorrow. Typical, no response for a few minutes, and then she starts in on the neighbor thing who I've told her I dislike, I dislike their "so called friends only relationship that is way abnormal and he is not welcome." I wouldn't allow myself to be pulled into a conversation like this. I flatly told her that if her life needs to revolve around my perception of a neighbor and how I feel towards him, than I am obviously secondary in her life. Typical no response again other than, "that's not what I said." She then proceeded to say, I'm leaving, I'll be back whenever. She anticipated anger or resentment from me, which I would not give. My response was, "be careful." I did follow her in the house, and asked her one more time, what do you want. She stated " this relationship is beyond fixing, do what you have to do and left." She was gone for about an hour. In that period, I spoke to both of our mothers and let them know that it appeared that our 4 year relationship was over, and the house may be sold. She returned an hour or so later and it apeared that she may have been crying. She asked if anyone called, and I told her that I spoke to bot hof our mothers and told them what had happened. She absolutely freaked out that I would have the nerve to tell someone about our problems. So, I'm like hello, what am I supposed to say to them whne there is a for-sale sign in our front yard. Her response was, "I never said the relationship was over." And I said, no, not directly, but you said that you felt that the relationship was beyond repair and the previous night you are out of love with me." About an hour later, I ask her what she wants to do, when does she want to get the ball rolling w/ the move, etc. I told her that I never wanted the relationship to end and that she knows where I stand. I told her you don't need to answer now, let me know in the morning. No response, but she tells me "I love you" hugs me and kisses me. This moring, I ask her what do you want to do before we left for work. She says, "lets just see what happens, ok?" She then kisses me goodbye, walks 2 steps to her car, and then comes back to hug and kiss me again. Does anyone have any good advice as to how I should proceed. I'm lost here and am sinking fast. Actually, I have hit rock-bottom with all of this, and am just tired of it all. Should I take the wait and see approach, move on, and also, do oyu think I should quit bringing this up. Thanks!

I think that she may need to get some help, other than suicidal tendancies, she exhibits 11 of the 12 signs of depression. (now that I think about it, I'm starting to get that way too.) She is a tough customer however. I have already mentioned counseling together, and her response was "your the one who needs counseling" I'm fine. I also suggested to her that she may want to consider seeing a doctor as soon as possible. She replied "things will take care of themself." I as a person cannot go on living this way. Should I set an ultimatum? It only seems to be the only course right now. It's very hard to love someone and care for them as well as live with them when the only response you get is ambivalence.

New to this, but any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am 33 and my partner is 29. I have been in a relationship with her for nearly four years. The past 3 months have been tumultuous to say the least. My relationship has been going down hill due in large part to a single neighbor (brief description....fat, drug abuser, balding and drug dealer.) Anymore, it seems that my partner is only happy when this person is around. For christ sakes, she invited him on our recent vacation which was the worst experience of my life. I don't think they are physically involved, however, it appears that they are emotionally involved. I have caught her in a number of lies recently....phone calls to him and also, I was out of town for training this past wweek and learned that he was over my house every night that I was gone. Last night, I could not take it anymore, the non-communicating, walking by each other in silence, etc. I tried to talk to her, and she does not give me any answers; so I told her, I need some answers. I asked her point blank, if she desires to be with anyone else, and her reply was "I don't need to answer that." She then went on to say that if I think it is with the neighbor, no. She says she loves me, but is "not in love with me and that things will take care of themself." She says that "I fell in love with you 4 years ago, and might again." I'm so in love with her, but am crusshed by this. Do I move on, or does anyone have suggestions on how I can "make her in-love with me again." IM me @ e_pko on yahoo if you have any feedbak. Thanks!!!!! Ed