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love4life

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love4life last won the day on December 20 2007

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  • Birthday 06/13/1981

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  1. 5 months NC today! Lately, when I think of him, it's very objective, unemotional, matter-of-fact. I think I finally "get it".
  2. I understand the argument about removing the ex from the pedestal and, certainly, finding that another person can please you physically is one way to help do that. But in doing so, just for pure physical pleasure in the moment, you're using someone for your own instant gratification. I know that I could never do that - I'd feel so low afterwards.
  3. I personally have never experienced this, per se. However, the house my family used to live in was a house on which my father built an extension off of the old foundation. The portion of the house that was older always gave me an uneasy, cold feeling. My sister had some strange experiences there. One in particular... When she was in high school she had to do a creative writing assignment about a "special place/location." So she chose to sit herself in our unfinished, cement basement (from the old foundation) in absolute darkness. While down there she wrote up her observations/thoughts about it and while down there she did see lights flashing accross the room. Odd, because there was no source for light to get in there. So anyway, after a half hour or so of this she finally came back upstairs - pretty weirded out of course - and went to her room (in the newer section of the house) to type up her paper. She finished the composition and set the printer to go (one of those old printers, with the perforated edges that took forever to print and made a lot of noise.) She left the printer to do its thing, and no one was in that part of the house while it printed. When she came back to get what she'd printed, the computer screen showed her composition all typed up, but the printed page only said "F the lights". SO WEIRD. I was glad when my fam finally moved out of that house and back into the one I grew up in!
  4. If you're looking for a serious relationship, keep an eye out for consistency. This means that they develop a "routine" in communications and also means that their words and actions are in synch.
  5. I think I'm around 70 days now. Had a really good first date last night and actually thought to myself, "I guess there are people out there who are good for, and maybe even better for, me."
  6. Awww, thanks, poems! I think going through that experience as a kid kind of makes you want to prove those people wrong in the end. I remember for the longest time I was so concerned with what other people thought of me. I'd say it was as recent as a couple years ago that I finally started thinking, "Who cares what people think of me? I like me, so that's what matters!" I will say,though, I was one nerdy-looking, skinny kid (with a unibrow and tortoise-shell glasses, lol!) and I wasn't allowed to wear make-up or get contacts till high school. GAH, it was a nightmare!!! Wouldn't relive those years if you PAID me to!
  7. I understand the pain of the adolescent teasing - I went through hell in Jr. High and was called "ugly", too. It took a long time to get beyond my flaws, but I've found ways to either minimize them, remove them, or accentuate them (since I now, for example, LIKE my non-existent chest, lol!) Start with going to therapy and addressing the issues with your father - this can't be good for any child to hear her own father call them "ugly". If after some time in therapy, you're still not happy with you are then, as annie24 pointed out, maybe you will want to consider plastic surgery if it will help you make the first step towards accepting who you are. The only concern with that is to realize that you will have to cope with adjusting to a NEW appearance. I've heard this can be traumatic for some people, so just make sure you're aware of that.
  8. I've kissed a few girls - mainly during drinking games and the like back in college. I'm not into women, but I'm not afraid to kiss them if necessary.
  9. Yes, it's definitely a good thing. Just be polite with it and don't start with the dry humping - the anticipation of what's to come is much more of a turn-on.
  10. And the fact that she's being so obvious with her feelings for him - posting them in her blog and such is probably a bit of a turn-off for him. Sounds like the tables may be turning, stars! But stick with NC - let him continue to seek you out. It will make you feel more empowered in the situation.
  11. Day 36 NC started after 2 months of LC. Doing great! Occasionally have a bit of a relapse - a small sob session (I mean less than 5 minutes, if even that) once or twice a week. Overall, staying positive, keeping focused on what I want in life and am feeling more in charge of my life and me than I ever have. AND, I know Mr. Right will appear soon enough. For the first time in 4 years (except for the 2 years or so I was in relationships) I dont have the urge to put my profile up on link removed. I have faith that the right man will come around without the help of a dating site
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