I've been the OW. Of course everyone blamed me despite the fact that he seriously pursued me and I never once pursued him. He told me I was the woman he wished he'd always had and his marriage was over, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I think it was just easier to believe that this OW was a total beotch who chases married men than to believe he was unhappy in his marriage. It's always easier to blame the other person than admit your husband doesn't love you anymore.