I don't think taking a back seat in life is ever a good approach. I think what people mean by "stop looking" is "stop looking desperate". I can't imagine what you can find if you never take a proactive approach to meeting new people and going to places where you are likely to meet those who interest you. Like anything in life, success comes to those who reach out, those who are willing to take risks and those who are not afraid to put themselves out on the line.