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Benjyh

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  1. Benjyh
    must be on about day 40 or something, i havent really thought about how many days its been for a while now, they all kinda blur into 1 at the moment. i do still think about her and miss her in certain ways but its nowhere near how it used to be, i shall just continue on in nc land in hopes of healing completely but i think thats a way off yet.
  2. Benjyh
    i think im on day 32 maybe more, its a weird feeling, not talking to someone that i couldnt go 1 day without talking too, and now spent over a month and what will continue to be more, times change people change we move on we grow as people as ourselves alone hoping to find someone to pass the time with without getting our hearts broken again. still thinking about my ex too much and i know she is having a much better time then i am these days which makes this so much harder, i do miss her, but i know some things in my life have improved without her, i just wish it hadnt ended like it had. bah i hate feeling like this onwards with NC
  3. Benjyh
    day 28 i think so maybe 2 days to go but im gonna continue on and extend my NC for who knows how long, well ive made no attempts to contact het, and she has made no attempts also to contact me, which to be honest makes me a little bit sad in a strange way. but life continues and it all becomes a little easier as time passes, still with ups and down but thats life for anyone finding themselves being taunted or hurt my facebook/myspace then try taking bubblyblondes challenge! GL To all
  4. Benjyh
    day blah blah not sure anymore, i guess thats a good thing! well onwards for me i plough trough the days, it is getting easier, but i still miss parts of her! its hard making new friends at 22, seems to be something you do when ure younger maybe i just need to make more of an effort but cinema tonight with friends tonight, which will be good! gj all btw you can keep it up!
  5. Benjyh
    few more days of nc for me, taking me close to 3 weeks i think not to sure anymore, been out with friends last 2 nights, got another gym session and then swimming with friends tonight. come to realise its a bit like going "cold turkey" from a drug, with ups and down from full contact to no contact. i still with to remain in nc, but would also like to appologise, and try and be friends in the future, im not sure anymore what i want, im kinda lost in a boring same routine. we shall see!
  6. Benjyh
    i had my first beer in 4 weeks on sunday, and im not going to drink very much. in about 20 mins i have my first gym session which is cool, and i cycle and im going swimming with a couple friends tonight, and to the pub afterwards. gotta stay strong i am better than her, and she has missed on something/someone amazing and its her loss! HER LOSS!!! strong is what i must stay but its hard!
  7. Benjyh
    1 day more than yesterday well still feeling down, i think this week is going to be a hard one, most of my friends are away at the moment and i really need to talk to someone. for some reason she is in my head alot more this week then the last 2, and i dont know why. i raelly miss her, i feel like i dont have anyone to talk to, like i did before. im very tempted to write a short simple email to her, to see if she is still mad at me, and to see if she is ok and life is going well...but not sure if i should or not, so will probable sit on it another week.
  8. Benjyh
    day something i like 18 not sure had a rough couple of days really felt like texting her to APLOGISE!! dont ask me why, she made me feel guilty the last time we talked, and blocked me! even though she broke up with me, i would like to talk to her, but im staying strong im better than her, i will survive without her, i just miss the company, its a lonely life without her, it feels so empty nothing to look forward to anymore bah i feel like crying
  9. Benjyh
    7 Days - Made it to a week, which is damn good for me, but not feeling much different, guess i will have to wait and see if she can leave me alone now, im guessing not, i give her 2 days before she leaves me another kind of message somewhere like she has done for the last month.... GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Woo 100th post....is that good or bad...
  10. Benjyh
    day 5 coming more and more to realise what a horrible person my ex has become, so really not missing that more dwelling on who she was and what happened to her. but moving on and getting better just need to stop thinking about her at all now!
  11. Benjyh
    Shag..dont know if it gets bleeped out or not, but its very english like austion powers
  12. Benjyh
    Day 4 - Well i broke the 3 day barrier i have been stuck on so many times...but did my ex no, she again contacted me on skype chat telling me things that i didnt want to hear, luckily i was away and she was offline when i came back! but im pretty sure that the end of all contact from her, now and in the future, and i will not be contacting her for a while...if ever.
  13. Benjyh
    day 3 for the 5 or 6th time... well today is about the 3rd day again of nc, i have got to this point so many times before, but usually she contacs me, or i cave and contact her. but ive told her not to talk to me this time, and im staying strong..but really need to keep myself busy today, lots of thoughts and memories floating around today, its gonna take all my strength to get through today without trying to contact her. found out yesterday she and her new boytoy are going to visit a mutual friend over the weekend, something we were going to do sucks ass, but im pretty sure shes using him for money and driving. but i need to not care, i just cant....grrr i hate my head!
  14. Benjyh
    wow back here again! well today is the first day of REAL NC i told her i dont want her to talk to me anymore, as i still have feeling for her, when i get home from work i will delete her from my msn and skype. time to get over her. found out she has blocked me on msn now kinda odd but oh well. move on benjy, move on now...
  15. Benjyh
    Well looks like im back into no contact with me ex, not through choice, but i havent heard from her in a few days, and i havent contacted her, because i think she still wants time away from me, feel odd since i thought we sorted evertyhing and were on the right track to being friends, but i guess not, i will try and stay strong but yesterday was a hard day. it sucks these days for me, bad weather getting me down, and a few friends either coming to 2-4 year anniversaries or starting new relationships, i have never been good at getting into relationships, im a very friendly guy, so every i meet see's me as a friend and never anything more, i guess im just a bit of a wuss... oh well NC/LC here i go again
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