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mr me

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About mr me

  • Birthday October 28

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  1. thanks for the responses i didnt say anything back because ive need to get away from this site for awhile.
  2. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror And wondered is this really you Is this really what you've become Thru all the everyday battles and struggles Is this how your gonna live your life Im still a victim of my past It haunts me everyday It feels like forever since i felt normal I dont really know if i ever even felt normal for me Its just everything isnt the way i thought it would be Nothing turned out alright I sometimes ask myself what do i have to live for I still ask myself that I live in a prison of broken dreams and empty promises My life just goes in one big vicious cycle and i dont really see a way out I just dont see that stopping me I havent really wrote like this in years I could show you what i was writing before and it was like i was crazy I dont even know if i really was or wasnt Everything is all mixed in gray Nothing is black or white I look at myself or try not to look at myself everyday I just really dont want this to be the truth of my life I wanted so much more but i can barely make it out of my front door now Im just lost in this type of vertigo phase where nothing seems real or fake Its all in just bits and pieces Nothing is clear I just hope that somewhere along this life of mine that things fall into place Ive been thru too much to always have to struggle like this all the time Its just i dont really know if thats the type of life i was born to have All my life its been one hardship after the other I guess that will be just another chapter in my life good or bad but will the main character in my story make it or will he just be another tragedy waiting to happen
  3. Ive been completely shut out from being creative for a really long time. I always kinda stress now when i try to write which is really different then the release i used to feel. The only thing i can really see myself writing about is how i cant write. The words dont feel the same They dont flow They just stumble onto the page My life has completely changed in such a short amount of time It almost doesnt feel like this is me anymore Im still struggling with turning this around I want to come out on top I went from the bottom to the top and then to rock bottom I must have hit rock bottom like 3 times This isnt how i want my story to be I tried to rush everything to get away from the pain I went from one problem to the next one to the next one I almost lost it all It was like being broken in half It was really just too painful to even express I guess ive gotten thru most of the pain Its just putting back the pieces Its like putting together this thread I dont think i can go back to how things were So i dont really know if ill ever feel the same about writing again Some people say that certain things in your life can change the meaning of everything that happened before it I just keep on telling myself that i never want to go thru something like that again Its just the truth is that ill never have control of what happens to me all the time I dont really know what to do next but i guess as you mature you see that is just the way things work Its just hard because i fight it all the time I dont know if i could really live my life like this Its just i dont really have a choice So i dont really see whats the point of fighting life Its just i thought that things were going to be so much better before I guess i wrote this to explain myself in a different way I dont really know what else to say I guess ill just have to fill in the blanks
  4. Well this is good. ive been trying to write since my break-up but i havent been able to really be focused like this. Im glad you could because it seems like its really important for people that have these things inside of them to let them out. I hope one day that ill be able to put my stuff to rest but just keep on doing what you can to deal with it.
  5. I dont know but im gonna put a different spin on it. I feel like i found my soulmate but because we came from unhealthy past our relationship was horrible. She has alot of issues and so did i but we were so glad to have found each other like if God put a special person in our life to take away all the pain. I guess from there we became co-dependent and i put up with alot from her that i shouldnt have but we were very blinded. I met her by chance online and we used to say that long distance relationships dont work but ours did. We both then went thru a very bad period in our lives just like the rest of our lives and we broke up to maybe never be together again. She is afraid that she is gonna make stress me out alot like before and i had anxiety because of that as well. Its like now she left me because she felt like she found some for her that was close by but it was like history repeating itself. I was that guy that she found after she broke up with an ex that cheated on her. I never understood it because now it was like she left me because she felt like this guy was here for her. I tried to explain this to her and tell her guys say alot of things to get a girl to like them. I feel like she even liked this guy but she told me she was gonna be independent and i still dont believe her. I just asked God why did this happen and i tried to actually not make it happen but it did. She basically did to me what her ex did to her and she did alot of other things to me and now she feels bad because she was young and made alot of stupid mistakes. I made alot myself but i tried to make them better but she really had alot of insecurities. I tried to help her the best i could but she doesnt like to be controlled because her parents were really controlling so she has a rebel side. I had alot in common with her and even now when im not with her i see how our lives are so similar its crazy. We never knew what we were doing because we lived sheltered and dysfunctional lives and now all i can do is hope that the same can happen to me and i can find someone closer i just feel this bond with her that doesnt go away. Its like now even if i find a girl that im into she is basically gonna be just like this girl but she will be nearby and i cant wait to have to explain to her that i already found my soulmate but it didnt work out.
  6. i guess i just wanted to say that when u are in an abusive relationship and u set boundaries usually the person runs away because they always want support. I didnt understand that but i do now. I have been learning alot about my situation and how it happens all the time with people all over the world. I guess i was scared of meeting someone else and goin thru this again but i was wrong. I still get anxiety when anything reminds me of her but i kinda learned to do something that i hope u can do as well. I learned to imagine myself with a dream date or anything and see how someone can still love u for who u are and also that u can find better. its scary to think stuff like this happens and can defeat ur spirit. I just hope what helped me can also help u and i do wish u the best.
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