FreedomRing

excellent poem...I'm feelin the words too...wow.

Savoie--to be completely honest, I have kept up with this thread and never posted, but you have attempted and made NUMEROUS excellent points in which NTL either totally disregards or backs up with responses dripping with denial. So I beg the question, what is/will talking to friends do to help shed light on the situation. I presume based on her reactions here, that it's probablly the same responses, even if she does have friends giving their perspectives...she doesn't want to see the writing on the wall, and this is all falling on deaf ears and blind eyes(apparently). She is not receptive, and like you mentioned before, there is something seriously deep rooted going on with the BOTH of them, for continuing to keep up this circular relationship(if thats even the term for this at this point). Keep posting though, cause your advice is dead on...each one of the posts...frankly I've past frustration and exasperation a long time ago, just from reading the thread..so more power to you! Hopefully she'll "get" it sooner rather then later...

30 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!! Quick recap...we broke up in middle of May....hung out a couple of times in June..LC-with most initiated by me.....we got into a minor argument that put things in perspective i think on why we broke up in the first place, and after that phone call I went into NC. Ironically enough, he hasn't tried contacting either. I'd also like to mention that I had figured out his email password and had become quite OCD right after the breakup snooping, trying to keep tabs on his life, which severely stunted my progression and was leading me to a path of self-destruction! After that argument on the phone, I also decided then that I woudn't snoop...so it's been a long, tortuous 30 days of not snooping as well...which is TOUGH......while I'm proud of myself for completing this challenge, I can't say that I have thought about him less.....or that the space has given me any new clarity.....don't know if I would go running back to him if he changed his mind at this point(hmm...guess thats the clarity right there).....or maybe that just means I need more time on the challenge...lol.... The real test is my bday next month.....I plan on maintaining strict NC until then......and testing my progression if he decides to contact on my bday....wish me luck

day 28 Wow...can't believe I'm just a couple of days away from the challenge!...although my real goal/challenge is my bday next month 8/15...Funny thing is...I was so sure a couple of weeks ago that he would DEF try to contact me in some for or another...but now, I"m not so sure....being how we both havent broken NC...and he is such a prideful, stubborn person at times...I keep thinking maybe he won't reach out....and I don't even know how I will feel if he does.... I thought NC would give me the space I needed to sort things out in my mind and help gain new perspective on our 2.5 yr relationship(living together for 1)...I guess it has....I miss him terribly....there's alot of anger I feel lately towards him as well. He decided to end things in May...but we hung out and had LC up until late June, where it was clear by his actions that he stll wanted to be with me....I decided to go NC....no use in him getting the actions of GF from me..if he ended it....so I dropped off the face of the earth... It's so strange to know when your ex has made the biggest mistake of their life by letting go of someone they ultimately love and deep down they know they want it to work out.....but what good does it do when you know it...and they don't? Or don't want to believe it right then....I guess you have to just hope they will realize it at some point or another, and come back...and maybe you won't have moved on by then... *shrugs** I feel blah!

Day 21-3 weeks!!! Hmm...I feel....good I guess....my ex has entered my dreams again...as a matter of fact, I can't sleep now, because of dreams of the ex bringing new girls over to "our" house...and maybe into "our" bed....those thoughts are just evil...and I didn't have them before..., but with time progressing and no contact on either end...I feel like we're both coming to grips of moving on and out of each other's life...so I guess thats where i"m getting these cruel thoughts from... On Tuesday, something did happen from the ex...but it wasn't deliberate contact...so I dunno....anyway...I woke and checked my email inbox...and there was invite to Myspace, from my ex--one of those system generated emails, sent with his name. Now, since our last phone conversation was a tiny argument over my discovery that he had a myspace page(created post breakup)nothing fancy..no pics up of himself or anything like that--he's starting a side business, so he "is using htis for networking and business purposes"...I hardly doubt that he would be sending me an invite link to myspace...don't think so....well after some deliberation....I noticed that on myspace when you search for people, by entering their email address....if the search does not come up....the search box changes into an invite! See where I'm going here???? I believe the ex searched for me on there.....and wanted to see if I had a page up....and unbeknownst to him, he sent me a system generated invite link! OK OK OK...teeny bit of info....but just to know that i'm floating around in his mind...made my DAY. I left for work feeling smug, and reveling in my NC.......my bday next month...will be the ultimate challenge

2 weeks! Wow.... can't believe it....it IT is getting easier though....keeping myself very busy and occupied with work, schoolwork, girlfriends, and even other male company....kinda missing him still...but missing the old me even more And getting more and more clarity about the relationship(2.5 yrs break up early May) Not sure if I would go back....that's telling!

day 5 AGAIN After a period of LC and hanging out as "friends" and a small, mini argument, started by myself.......made me realize this was just an action of me not being able to deal with the new terms...and that i was accepting crumbs, while hanging on with hopes for more.....I have no control or influence sbility to make him change his mind about me or the relatinship......NC all the way this time.....my milestone will be my bday...Aug 15....i'm positive he will try to contact me then...but at least I will be able to accept the contact as just that...contact...nothing more, nothing less......its about me now!!!

DAY 2!! Ok I'm committed...I miss him dearly, but HE LET ME GO. Bottom line! I'm great, fantastic, good looking, and a wonderful person!!!! I CAN do better!!!! For now