Savoie--to be completely honest, I have kept up with this thread and never posted, but you have attempted and made NUMEROUS excellent points in which NTL either totally disregards or backs up with responses dripping with denial. So I beg the question, what is/will talking to friends do to help shed light on the situation. I presume based on her reactions here, that it's probablly the same responses, even if she does have friends giving their perspectives...she doesn't want to see the writing on the wall, and this is all falling on deaf ears and blind eyes(apparently).
She is not receptive, and like you mentioned before, there is something seriously deep rooted going on with the BOTH of them, for continuing to keep up this circular relationship(if thats even the term for this at this point).
Keep posting though, cause your advice is dead on...each one of the posts...frankly I've past frustration and exasperation a long time ago, just from reading the thread..so more power to you! Hopefully she'll "get" it sooner rather then later...