I understand completely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I joined this sight for similar issues. I too am OCD and suffer from depression.
As far back as I can remember I have obsessed over something or someone.
I obsessed over a college sweetheart for 12 years. (It ended badly and felt unresolved) Because of trying to resolve that issue, my husband and I didn't have sex for 6 years.
So what got me over it? I now have a new male obsession.
My husband is a great man- but there is SO much he can't give me that I need. This new man fills all those needs. I want to be desirable to someone. I want to be wanted. But guess what? Now he's gone too.
No more e-mails. No dinners. Nothing. So I am depressed, AGAIN.
My cycle is vicious. Unfortunately, I have kids, otherwise I would leave my husband. The chase and the passion is far more fulfilling than the security.
Are we on the same page??????????????