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Samedy

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  1. I like it, it has a very elligent feel to it. *Everyone's a critic* - I did feel the word "norm" was out of place. The word, to me, feels too sterile, compared to the rest of your poem.
  2. Nice poem. I understood most of the analogies in your poem, except the last one. Could you explain what you were trying to get accross with that last stanza?
  3. I just picked up "Gone Tomorrow" by Lee Child from the library. Favourite author, and so far the book is moving a long nicely.
  4. Can you breathe? Can you wait? Finger to the freezing river, Tongue to ashes. Dry lungs cry. The weeping turn. Bridges fall on the backs, Of the weak.
  5. Can I ask what you were thinking about when you wrote this poem?
  6. The Road by Cormac McCarthy, so far so good. I do wish he would have used quotation marks to indicate dialogue.
  7. That's a really nice photo, especially for a cell phone.
  8. Awkward With a bruised spotted eye you walk pass, We look away, Pretending not to see you. Awkward. The line of your jaw reveals a graying bruise. You look away, Pretending not to see us. Embarrassed. As you pass through the many with an injured hip, Heads turn in synchronization, Like a scattering flock. Shameful. Your picture on the news. Old Photograph. Black and White, deceased. Domestic violence, No one knew. We change the channel, Awkward.
  9. I broke, I showed you my weakness, I showed you my scars, and I had you watch as I cut myself open Exposed, My insecurities, My mis-directed self-hate. Leaving you, speachless. A new face came out, Masked by anger steming from self self-affliction A voice that crushed and silenced the man you used to know. Wait. Please don't go. I'm really okay, Life can be tough. I promise, I won't trouble you, with my thoughts, and my crippling pain. Lonliness. I'll be okay. Don't worry about me. I can figure it out on my own, Maybe you should go. I'll be fine, I'll just sit, Silently. Happy, See? Before you leave, Do me just one thing, a favour. Leave the razor-blades behind, I have some redecorating to do. I'll be okay, Thank you, for leaving.
  10. Have you checked the rules about submissions, depending on how it is being judged all your efforts might be for not. At worst, you might disqualify yourself by doing all this work for the submission. Good luck.
  11. Invisible Refuge In the world I was never accepted, The blue waves of life come crashing down on me. I can feel my grip of reality slowly slip, as I wonder who I am and how will it end. I can see my life flash fluently behind my eyes, Slowly ticking away as every hand moves slower to it's finale. I cannot wait for it anymore, I gasp for breath as I swim farther in deep. No time like the present to wash away my dreams. And now I am so weakly paddling, To my solid refuge, That exists now, as the phantoms of my dreams.
  12. Here's a poem I just did at an open mic event. Meh.. I like it.. but the poet's at the event told me it (well all of my poems) were terrible when I finished. Enjoy.. Like A Pebble Like a drop in the ocean, That barely breaks the skin. Absorbed into the surface, Traceless, without significance. Not creating any ripples, Or tiny little waves. Not affecting the movement, Everything just stays the same. The nature of its cause, Is part of a greater good. Being slight and insignificant, Is only what it seems. The ocean is made up of, Billions of little drops. All contributing to it’s life, And that is their cause. Like a pebble on the beach, Resting on the sand. Set apart from all the others, Blending in as best it can. It sits a top of the sand, Resting silently. It does not move or change position Remaining still for no one to see. The pebble will go unnoticed By those of a common eye. Standing out only to the ones, With the solitude to not just walk on by. The beach is made up of, Millions of these anomalies. Only showing themselves to those, Those that can truly see. Like a pebble in a hand, Laying on the skin. Picked up from the ground, As it did not quite blend in. Above a lowly puddle, This hand hovers on high. Turning over slightly, Releasing the pebble to the ground, it’s fall is nigh. The pebble penetrates the crust, Disturbing its peacefulness. Waves and little ripples, Fill this puddles existence. For this little pebble, Was taken from its spot. Taken to somewhere else, Where it could make a difference and have a cause. The pebble made the puddle, Disperse and expand, Shifting its meaning and destiny By the release of a hand. As everything has its spot. And place where it belongs. Going outside and making a difference, Was the pebbles purpose all along.
  13. Scream Scream, Let it all out. Take a moment to think, Sit yourself down, Write it all out, Then Scream. Scream, Let it all out. Build it all up, Let it grow, Wait to explode, Now scream. Scream Let it all out. Jagged scratches, Bruised ambitions, Wait to crumble, Now scream. Scream Let it all out. Scared tissue forms, Blistering, Deformed, Now scream. Scream, Let it all out. Break yourself down, Rage taking over, Peace is over. Now scream. Scream, Let it all out. And Scream.
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