rothman

It's been about one and a half years since I have broken up with my first love. I am a sophmore in college, and I have fun meeting and getting to know other girls more personally, but I still have this underlying hurt feeling that comes out of no where when I think about my ex-first love. It starts out like this: We had college coming up, so we broke up because of that. While in college, she finds another guy and finds every way possible to shove it in my face. I have never returned this type of behavior in anyway, and have even offered to talk about our differences in person, but she's persistent in making everything an "online" ordeal, making all our contact be based on the internet. In the end, I was the one who hurt her terribly, and we haven't even talked in person since then, yet I don't think that's the case. I have offered to take her out to lunch to iron out everything, but she refused. She persisted on keeping everything online, which made me feel horrible and unwanted. In the end I keep having these revengeful thoughts, but I know that revenge will get me nowhere. This past summer she contacted me online to tell me she regretted rejecting my lunch invitation, and that she want's everything to be "fine." I found her at her work to respond in person to this message, but all she did was stare into my face blankly, which hurt my feelings. I wound up telling her that she hurt me even more online, which probably wasn't the best thing to do. My negative feelings towards her have gotten to the point where I have probably messed up other possible successful relationships. This is not healthy at all - I need to find some way to move forward from this mess! I need to find another way. I know revenge is not the answer, and I am not about to stick my neck out again to mend any misunderstanding. I am not about to go backwards and find some way to win her back because she's totally not worth anymore of my time! What can I do to get my genuine confidence back? How can I overcome this?

Man, you're 15 and you need not to fall in that pattern at such a young age! Go to the gym - be sparatic - talk to the next attractive girl you see! Grab chances at a whim, you're young and can make mistakes with girls. Don't make mistakes with drungs -- make them with girls!!!! Have sex with the next girl you take on a date, it'll help you forget about this last girl. WEAR PROTECTION AND DON'T GET ANYONE KNOCKED UP EITHER... but i'm sure you're not that stupid.

Seems like there are three people in this relationship. A real man doensn't need to tell everyone that he's having sex. Keep that in mind, my friend. Get Stephen out of the picture if you want success in this relationship.

If she really liked you, she would have told you already. Women crave the fact that they're wanted by other people, and by you telling her the way you feel will feed this desire. I recommend that you stop talking to her and talk to other girls. Soon you will have college meet tons of new people. Keep and open mind about everything. I recommend you sit back, kick off your shoes, and suck in the fresh air of being single! Do not get sucked into the mind games.

Yeah, I'll invoke some engineering jargin.

I'm interested in what ever feels right. Personally I am interested in starting an LDR if possible. It wouldn't feel right starting an LDR if it was not mutually wanted. Would I be wrong to in thinking that sex may introduce a little more emotional stress as well?

I met this girl at a club one night and we hit it off. This was back during winter break in December, 2006. We're both attracted to each other, and we have both hinted at having committing relationships. She is an Engineering student at my rival college, UVA, and I'm an engineering student at Virginia Tech. We both agreed that there was alot of pressure in being committed between colleges, and had decided to break off any commitments. Spring break is rapidly approaching and we have been talking about hanging out. She hints at wanting to hang out, but then makes it seem like she has totally too many other things going on. I am a little confused as to where she stands in our relationship, dating, or if I'm being led on. I'm thinking maybe I should go with the flow and see what happens. Any suggestions?

Bottom line: be confident and have fun. Don't be disappointed if nothing works out. But be confident!

Last summer was a revengeful summer. I have just broken up with this girl on the grounds that I wasn't conservative nor catholic enough to be with her. Personally I am not a religious person nor do I associate myself with politics, and I had no intention to hurt a gorgeous girl's feelings with my lack of caring. In the end, this relationship destroyed my confidence in my ability to "hold a relationship" with someone. Now for the revenge. I was out to throw away my v-card and any magic that it may have. I was emotionally drained from my experience and hopeless, and I was currently a rising college sophomore, and fed up with the fear associated with girls, relationships, ect. My brother and I were planning a cross country road trip and at my local DMV I met this gorgeous blond who I struck up conversation with. I got some contact information from her, and l headed out on this cross country journey in which I would give my v-card to any willing person down the road. Our destination was CAL Berkeley, and there I threw my v-card away. For a period of two weeks, I felt dirty, yet I was relieved of my previous relationship's feelings. Now for my second strike, the blond girl. I wind up talking to her again and we get back together for lunch. About a day later we see each other at night and I have sex with her. What did I care? I could care less about people and sex and everything else, I was invincible and emotionally drained. She ends up becoming extremely attached to me and wouldn't give me up for anything. This got terribly annoying because every time I would see her I would have massive amounts of sex but wouldn't want to comitt to anything. My sophomore year of college starts, and her freshman year starts. She was recruited as the star pitcher of a local college softball team. I loose contact with her for about two weeks only to find that I do have feelings. As much as I had held them back, the came flooding in with full force. Her and I still exchanged the occasional phone call, and I would star to express my desire to be with her, finally. This was probably confusing for her, and she kept holding off on the Idea of any relationship, which she was previously so adamant about. One day I randomly rolled up to her college to find her with her ex-boyfriend. I probably assumed the worst and wanted an absolution form her on where she stood with me. This erupted in an yelling match where I freaked out and she hasn't talked to me since. In this silence I have developed a harder love for her. I have tried to find replacements, but she still stays on my mind. I want her back somehow, I want to talk to her again, I want to at least level everything out with her. What can I do? She won't talk to me, and her mom suggests that I give up. I know where she lives, should I try going to her house this summer? What can I do?