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chet

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  1. I'm not following what you want. You say you have feelings for her, yet you want to get over her. Why not try to move forward with her instead? ...is there something preventing that?
  2. Yes, you are right. I think I was trying to play along with the 'joke'... I didn't know what else to say.
  3. No, I have no intention of buying her anything, or getting involved with her beyond our sports partnership, what I'm curious about is if anybody really jokes like this... because she always backpedals and says she is just joking around. I've just never heard 'jokes' like this before.
  4. Sounds to me like she is a bit flakey. I've been there dude... trying to date a flakey women, though never one that didn't call or email ahead of time to change the plans, the fact that she never returned your call or got back to you about the missed date isn't a good sign. My *guess*, and this is only a *guess* is that you are not the only guy she is dating, and maybe things have progressed with the other guy. Sorry, not what you want to hear, but it is what turned out to be the case with the flakey women I was seeing.
  5. Yeah, avoiding her is tough... I don't want to explain why exactly to avoid giving away too much personal information. I see her 3 times a week... I could find somebody else to do what she does for me (think sports) but she is very good at what she does. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that she is just joking when she says those things, I'm just not sure.
  6. I'm not really sure height is the kind of thing you compliment somebody about? But since you are taller than her, maybe you can get away with saying this: "Hows the weather down there". I know it is corny, but it is a play on the old tired joke "how is the weather up there" and shows that you recognize that she has probably heard some dumb ones in her time.
  7. I totally understand the shy but social thing... I was like that when I was in high school and part of college, but changed as I got older. To me that means you hang out with others but you are seldom the one to make the plans? Anyway, I had a very serious gf in that period and she was fine with it... she wanted me for me, not for how many friends I had. 20 years later we still keep in touch and she teases me sometimes about how shy I was back then, but it never bothered her... it isn't why we split up (she wanted to marry very early, I did not). I don't think you can generalize and say all women want a guy with a lot of friends, it just depends on the women and what she wants and needs. If she expects a lot of personal space with her own friends, then it might not work with her unless you are able to give her that in spite of not having a lot of your own. I think the key though is to just be yourself... don't pretend to have friends just because you are afraid of what she might think.
  8. What is the culture like where you work? Do people go out in groups after to hang out, get a beer, that kind of thing? If so, organize such an outing and ask her to join you all... it makes it safe for her. If that isn't an option, take her to lunch... lots of coworkers go to lunch together. If she says 'no thanks' then you have a pretty good hint without investing much.
  9. It is easy to be attracted to more than one more person at a time, so there is nothing unnatural about her liking other guys... she might like you too. Only way to know is to just ask her out.
  10. It is hard to say, she might like you, or she might just like the attention. How much do you know about the serious relationship she is in? Joke around with her, tell her she should leave him for you, but do it as a tease and see how she responds. I know many women that don't consider a relationship serious unless the guy has put a ring on her finger... maybe she is that kind.
  11. I think the idea of alpha-male is very contextual. For example, a guy can be alpha on the sports field, but not in the office, or whatever the setting is. Nobody is alpha in all settings, and it might just depend what this women is into. Does she like classical music? Do you play french horn by chance? ...that kind of thing. I think what lock is taking about is just confidence, which is different than being alpha. Somebody can be confident but not alpha for example.... but most alphas are probably very confident in the contexts in which they are alpha... the athlete would be confident on the ball field or talking about ESPN, but might not know anything about Mozart. The hotest chic I ever knew was totally into french horn players... hardly gave anybody else the time of day... alpha male or not.
  12. [i've edited this down a lot to just get to the point...] This women friend of mine, that I've known for a few months and see frequently, but I am not dating, has made some unexpected comments to me like "you should let me live with you", and "you should buy me a car", and "you should buy me a snowboard". She is 20 years younger than me and I never expected her to flirt with me given our age difference, but I'm confused by this behavior... if I ever call her on these comments she just says she is joking. My friends say she is flirting, but it almost feels to me more like gold digger behavior. I used to work for the largest software company in the world, and there is a stereotype that we are all loaded. Anyway, I normally respond with something like "what's in it for me", but I'm very curious what others think about this. She gets away with this because she is very adorable (my friends words) but I'm starting to get annoyed by the behavior, and have mixed feelings about if I want to hang out with her... I guess part of me is flattered that a women this young spends as much time with me as she does (I have not gotten her any gifts btw, not for xmas or for her bday).
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