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crystal67

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About crystal67

  • Birthday 12/06/1967

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  1. Kate What will be. will ne BUT i think what you have been told is a myth. There is no doubt that we learn from every relationship, and i do believe that we "choose" our relationships, whether consciously or not. I was a teenage bride and was married for 12 yrs before my husband ended our marriage to continue a relationship with another woman who had 5 kids to different fathers! bizarre as it may seem, once i had gotten over the betrayal, i actually felt quite proud of him. He has left her many times since, and my door is the first one he knocks on - not because he thinks he can get an easy lay - we have never slept together since he left, but he does know that i care for him, and he's the father of my kids, and i want him to be settled. So, in answer to your question, you really do change for the better, depending on ur personality type, and it can prove to be a really positive situation, so long as you know where your boundaries lie
  2. Guinevere My darling, im confused - who is Jude? is that your husband or is that your soulmate?
  3. I agree with Mythical on this one - I tell my male friends they are looking good and there's nothing to it - there has to be something more!
  4. Hi Greg I have to say, from my own perspective, that looks count for very little. Intelligence and a sense of humour are my big turn ons! However, just because your confidence is low does not mean that you dont have all of the above - and good looks are a bonus lol As for your reference to yourself being boring - NO human being is boring!! Dont judge yourself by what you see in the mirror! Take Care Crystal
  5. in a word.... yes, ur being petty..........sorry but you cant expect too much from this man when he obviously has very serious commitments, which he is doing his best to honour. It sounds to me like he loves being in your company very much, and at 9 weeks in, with his other issues, i would be expecting you to be far more supportive, rather than questioning - for goodness sake, what more can he do right now to let you know how much he wants to be with you? I assume you have no kids yourself? i could be wrong Look after him and take care
  6. You ARE a good person - dont let anyone tell you any differently!! I feel for you and the pain and rejection you must be feeling, but good always shines though, whether you try and suppress it or not. You can try to be cold towards people all you like but your true good feelings of wanting caring and loveing relationships will come to the fore, and WILL be reciprocated. Try and visualise the kind of friendships and relationships you would like in your life and keep visualising them - no matter what life throws at you. You control your own thoughts, and thoughts are real things. If we are feeling negative, often negative things happen to us. Please try to call on your inner resources and try to see something positive about everyone and every situation in your life, and you will begin to see positive things happening to you - maybe just small at first, but as you continue to practise feeling positive, them positive situations will grow and grow - just keep visualising!!! Take great care of yourself - I for one truly believe you can change things for the better
  7. To be honest, this is probably the one thing that I feel most let down by. It feels like he invited her to stay our of spite because we had had a little tiff. I find that kind of behaviour immature and struggle to accept it. Anyway, we had a little chat last night but didnt really get much further. He has invited me to meet some of his friends, but still has an issue with me feeling uncormfortable. He doesnt agree that its inappropriate for him to have female friends stay over and for them to be alone together, whether he has slept with them previously or not. Its very frustrating, and i feel like banging my head against an immovable object several times over! He offered to kick his friend out this morning (in a kinda stroppy manner, if you know what i mean) which to my mind is totally missing the point. I dont believe she has done anything wrong, and now he has offered to help her in her hour of need, i feel he is obligated to do so. My problem is with the fact that she was ever invited to stay in the first place, when i had already expressed my feelings over the situation. Im getting tired of the whole situation to be honest - I dont think i should have to fight so hard to make my man understand and accept something which is so simple and obvious. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to reply
  8. Thank you for your replies guys. I really dont know what i was hoping for but you have certainly helped alot. I do trust him and I think its healthy to have friendships of both sexes. I am still very close friends with my ex husband but my partner has met him on more than one occasion. I am going to ask to meet his friends and see what happens. I like to believe he will be happy for me to do so. I will let you know how it turns out. Btw, this is only the second post I have ever made on the internet although i have been surfing for years. I really think, having read some other posts, that this is a wonderfully supportive site with some excellent caring advice given. I think you will see a lot more of me ;-)
  9. Hi I would really welcome some objective advice and will try to be honest and fair when explaining my situation with my partner. We have been together 2 yrs.. When we first started dating he had just come out of a relationship where he had been living with his ex for about 2 and a half yrs. Things had gotten pretty bad between them - she had accused him of cheating on her several times but they finally split when he couldnt commit to marriage which is what she wanted ( and to be fair, he had good reason to). For 2 yrs this woman has plagued our relationship - from trying to getback with him to sending abusive nasty texts. My problem is that my partner seems to have lots of female friends which he insists are platonic. I consider myself to be a rational, easy going person and i have never suffered any form of insecurity in a relationship before but am starting to feel that way now and i dont like it! A few facts about his female friendships: one of his closest friends lives some distance away, and although they dont see each other much, she is obviously important to him - he sends her son birthday cards on his birthday. He admits he has slept with her once, and he occasionaly stays at her house at the weekend when he is in the area on other business. She has a boyfriend. I have never met her. Another of his female friends who lives locally, he goes out for a drink with fairly regularly. They dated for several months some yrs back. I have never met her. Another female friend he met around the time he met me. They met through a shared interest and she used to visit him at home quite often and unexpectantly. She lives fairly local and has even asked if she can stay over at his house wen she has been out drinking with her friends in the town where he lives. He told me this and i said it was a no goer for me and he turned her down. One night when my partner and I were out she sent him a txt "Hi honey, are you home alone?" He showed me the text and we had a huge row about it. He defended their friendship, saying that all it was, and thought i was acting unreasonably. I have never met her. Recently, he asked if i minded if a female friend he has known about seven yrs stayed at his house for a few days as she had nowhere else to go. I said i did mind which he accepted. A few days later we had a row, and when we made up, he told me he had let his friend come and stay, they had had a night out together and she is still there. She has even gone with him on a trip today, which he said was impromtu and not organised that way - she asked if she could join him at the last minute. I have never met her. He has other female friends too whom he keeps in fairly regular contact with but i have never met any of them either. My partner lives alone and has never been married. He has told me he has cheated on previous partners, but he would never cheat on me. We split a few months ago (for a few weeks, then got back together, but we remained in constant contact) After we got back together i received an email from a woman claiming to have been seeing him during that time. When questioned, my partner admitted seeing this woman several times but says he never slept with her, and that he ended it. Now bizarre as this may sound, i truly love him, trust him and respect him. What really gets my goat is that he thinks i am being unreasonable and unfair to him when i complain about his female friendships and basically accuses me of not trusting him. He says he is who he is and i should respect that and accept that. Should I? am I being unfair to him? I have never asked him to break any of these friendships but i have voiced my disapproval of some of them. I am finding myself in unchartered waters here, and really dont know what to say to him to try and make him understand how i feel. Dont get me wrong - we have other issues to, he has issues with the fact i work long hours and that i smoke and that i dont have enough time for him, but i think the real issue with our relationship is his female friends. He thinks i am trying to change and control him but im not, I dont mind him having the odd female friend. Im struggling with this one big time - any advice welcome
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