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Alone_Forever

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  1. I apparently was dropped recently by a guy that used to be my best friend by far, and had been for a very long time. This is a guy I had known for 25 years, with whom I had gone to high school, worked in the same industry, and finally had as a roommate for several years until he got married and moved to a different state to be closer to his wife's family. We still talked on the phone a few times a year after that, and he had even dropped by to visit a few times when he was in my neck of the woods. But a couple of years ago he stopped calling, and the last several times I have tried to call him to catch up, I never reach him and my messages are not returned (I know that he still lives there, as I did speak very briefly to his wife once). My most recent attempt to call him, a few months ago, was also my last - if he wants to maintain our friendship at this point, I guess he will have to call me, but I have the distinct sense that he will not be doing so. Even though this was far less abrupt of a "drop" than what I assume you have just experienced, it still leaves me feeling sad. I am talking about a guy who once knew that he could call me at 3 a.m. to drive upwards of two hours to where his vehicle was disabled and pick him up (and whom I could and did rely upon for similar help when I needed it). I can only guess why he has decided to cut off any further contact. The only reason I can think is that it may be that he thinks having an aging bachelor in so-so health as a friend is not a fit with his happy, healthy, busy family life ... that, having not been lucky enough to go down the same path that he did, I am no longer a good enough person to maintain even occasional contact with. :splat:
  2. I would say to not worry about whether you do something like playing a musical instrument, because it does not get you anywhere with the ladies, regardless of what common folklore suggests. The musical guys who are seen getting together with lots of women would still be successful with women if they did not play an instrument. And an unattractive, shy guy who is a terrific musician will sit in the corner alone with his instrument, while a good-looking and personable guy who plays an instrument poorly or not at all will be smothered in women.
  3. If she next arrives at your place with ferns to decorate, and a photo album of digitally generated pictures of what your future family will look like, my advice is to run. Seriously, it sounds like she might be a little bit manic, so I agree with franqipani1 - be careful.
  4. If you mean what men in general do behind women's backs, I agree with you 100% - I have seen some truly appalling behavior. At times I have been frustrated and even sickened when I have witnessed what many other men, those who are fortunate enough to actually have women who LIKE them, are willing to say and do when those women are not around. I often think that if I could force such men to walk in my shoes for a bit, perhaps they would be more appreciative of what they have.
  5. MAYBE they do this if a guy is sufficiently good looking. But when I am too shy (which is all of the time), I certainly do not see any such efforts by women to build up my confidence. In fact I suspect women do little high-fives about it with each other when my back is turned.
  6. Clearly women aren't put off by YOUNG men who are virgins, since that is right about when most men cease to be virgins. Once a man has reached the age where most men of that age are not virgins, however, then the situation changes. By the time a virgin reaches my age (40's), the typical woman would probably prefer to date a violent criminal over an aged virgin. (I do not really understand why this is the case.) :splat:
  7. One thing to understand about shy guys (and I speak from long experience), is that we analyze everything through own own prism of self-doubt. Even if our first instinct to receiving such an email is "hey, she actually knows I exist!", the time it takes us to work up the courage to respond also gives us too much time to overthink the purpose of that letter: e.g. "she probably sent this to everybody in her contact list", or "she only sent a group email - it was not meant to be viewed as personal", or "she probably just clicked on my email address by mistake", or any of a hundred other reasons. And when there is more than one even remotely plausible reason for such an email, we shy guys will tend to act upon the most pessimistic one, because it fits best with our self-image.
  8. Just an aside: do not depend on abnormally youthful looks remaining as a permanent crutch. For much of my life, people always guessed my age as about ten years lower than my actual age (and when I look back at pictures of myself at 25, I can see why - I still looked like I had not yet hit puberty). However, about the time I reached 40, that youthful look kind of went "poof". Now, no one has any trouble guessing my actual age, and it seemed to change literally overnight.
  9. At times I feel like the dictionary definition of "creepy" must be this: "being aware of the opposite gender while older and/or unattractive".
  10. Not at 28 - you still have time as well. I am pretty sure that I am the only certified loser in this thread, given that I am well into my 40s, have lost any semblance of a youthful look as well as had my health damaged, and I still have not done many of the things listed (and have done none of them very many times, and none at all for a few decades now).
  11. I would not date myself if I was the last man and/or woman on earth.
  12. I have the DVD. It is a very good movie, with a surprisingly warm heart once you get past some of the language. (I had expected it to ridicule or dehumanize the lead character far more than it did.)
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