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Zackinlaw

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Zackinlaw last won the day on October 8 2007

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About Zackinlaw

  • Birthday 12/22/1983

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  1. Yes it is beautifully written, love the metaphors ... and very germane to this forum where girls often mistake Adonises and guys often mistake Venuses for something they are not. If I were Mother Nature's husband, I would arrange to have looks and attractiveness actually reflect the quality of the person inside. Now THAT would be a total rearrangement of the world as we know it!!! Zack. ps ... that's a great idea for a movie plot!!!
  2. I understand why it might upset you, but in fact it's a HUGE compliment that your poetry puts their feelings into far better words than they could come up with themselves. Technically, it's a copyright infringement to republish someone else's work without permission or acknowledgement ... but hey ... this is MySpace. Zack.
  3. Yeah, Yahoo Messenger is just fine (as long as your Yahoo name doesn't reveal too much personal information). Most people you meet will have Yahoo Messenger. You can also connect a webcam to Yahoo Messenger so you can see each other while you chat. If he has a webcam, it might give you a VERY ROUGH idea as to whether there will be chemistry, and give you an approximate verification of his real age. It will also help you weed out (or enjoy ) the pervs! Zack
  4. Hi Neo, I wasn't suggesting that chemistry is not important --- online or in person. If you are wired for chemistry, that is all the more reason to meet someone you meet online in person as soon as you find him interesting. Just remember that meeting someone online kind of screws up the natural sequence of things, and you have to act quickly to bring it back into line. Zack.
  5. Hi Neo, Lots of interesting stuff in your post! First, IMing ... IMs are a great way to have an online conversation in real time ... much faster than email, more like being in a chat room with just one person. You have to download the IM program and set up a screen name to use them. There are several to choose from ... here are two I use: Yahoo Messenger ... go to link removed AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) ... go to link removed There is also a popular IM service from Microsoft called msn ... but I don't use it. Having IM is essential to meeting new people online. Second, the phone ... Whenever I meet a woman online, I insist on going to the phone pretty much right away. There are several reasons ... you can tell a lot more about someone's personality by hearing their voice than you can by talking in emails or IMs ... and once in a great while, gay men pose as women to try to get a man to engage in romantic conversations. The phone frustrates this. If you want to be super safe, always call him, and press *67 before dialing his number to block your caller ID. Third, phone sex ... I suppose there is really nothing wrong with enjoying anonymous phone sex as long as you both agree that it's nothing more than relieving your respective sexual frustrations. I assume you are looking for a relationship ... my only advice is to never confuse a metaphoric romp in the Verizon hay with finding the man of your dreams. If he was that good at it, chances are that sex is all he was there for. Fourth, safety ... I am getting sick of hearing sensational stories about the horrors of online meeting! Meeting someone from online is probably safer than going out on Saturday night with the cute guy you met in the local tavern on Friday. Some people say "well, when you first meet someone in person ... you can pick up signals and body cues, etc. etc." I'm sure Ted Bundy (an infamous serial killer from the 1970s) didn't have "Serial Killer" tattooed on his forehead! Just be appropriately cautious ... consider meeting for the first time in a public place where there are lots of people around. Last, "online chemistry" ... this is a total myth ... all you can get online is a sense of emotional compatibility. If you meet someone you think you like, meet him immediately!!! There is nothing more tragic than making an large emotional investment in someone just to find yourself (or him) saying "ewwwww" when you finally meet! Good luck Neo, Zack.
  6. John Lennon said "life is what happens when we are busy making plans." I cringe a bit whenever i see the word "years" in unresolved romantic situations. You said "we've met in real life and it felt amazingly right, so right in fact that we've decided we wanted to move in together but for a number of reason unfortunately independent of our will we have to wait." We are talking 5 years, 2 seriously ... emotional and in person physical attraction is just fine so I am assuming love here. I just am just wondering what could possibly be "independent of your will"??? Passports revoked??? On the "no fly" list???? Afraid to make the leap??? Need a Berlitz language course??? Angel, you need to sit down and decide if you need to be with him (make it happen) or move on (let it go). Good luck, Zack.
  7. There is no hard and fast rule for timing the first in-person meeting. I prefer soon ... usually within a few weeks. I broke off an online relationship after 6 weeks on the phone and no credible reason why we couldn't meet. The biggest difference between meeting someone in person and meeting someone online is that you cannot determine if there is physical attraction on the phone, even with pictures. So as a rule of thumb, if you (or the other person) start developing an emotional bond, and are thinking that you would like to have a relationship, meet immediately!!! It avoids a lot of potential pain! Zack
  8. There is no easy answer, and on this one, you are going to have to just tough it out. Break it off clean ... and hey, if she's really afraid to meet you like some have suggested, maybe her fear of losing YOU might help her to overcome it. Her caution is one thing, but come on, Ikatu, you are about to light a candle on this non-starter!!!! RayKay has a good rule: There is nothing worse than building a strong emotional attraction just to have it dashed by a lack of in-person chemistry!!!
  9. Hi Maddy, I agree with what most have said here ... that you absolutely can't have a romantic relationship unless there is some level of physical attraction. Like someone suggested earlier, if you are repulsed at the thought of kissing him, romantic love just won't happen. A cruel joke of nature perhaps, but true. I would like to add something ... consider the effect on Chris of a rejection when you first meet in person. Believe me, he will know it within minutes of meeting you. Because you already have a strong emotional attraction for each other, and assuming that he will be physically attracted to you when you meet, his romantic feelings toward you will become immeasurably stronger after that first meeting, and he will be much more hurt than he would if you were to break it off now and never meet. It isn't shallow to need some chemistry to spark a romance, but it would be incredibly selfish of you to meet him in person anyway, virtually knowing that a romantic relationship with him will be impossible for you. I don't mean to sound critical or preachy, Maddy, but it occurs to me that Chris has a MUCH bigger problem than you do. People here are trying to help you, which is very sweet ... but you shouldn't forget that there are two people affected by this. My advice is that you should break off the friendship now, so he can start to deal with the pain of your rejection immediately. Unfortunately, you will be losing a good friend, but you certainly don't want him to be hanging on to a false hope for months or even years because you are still in his life. Good luck, Zack. ps To avoid this kind of disaster in the future ... when you meet someone online, and it looks like there may be an emotional spark, you should meet him (in a public place) at a much earlier point (pictures just don't do it). It will save you both a lot of potential pain.
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