kermit

You are protected by the Family Law Act of Ontario, provided you know what assets you have. At the very least you need to be sure what you are entitled to. You own 1/2 your home and 1/2 the assets that have been accumulated sine you moved in. See lawyer before you do anything rash.

Yes, and no-one loves you 'the way you are' forever. People will always (eventually) try to change (improve?) you.

-Don't believe everything you're told. Maintain a healthy amount of scepticism regarding other peoples pronouncements and promises regarding love and long term plans. -Proceed slowly. Slow is always better (and safer) than fast.

Even you don't want to go back there a future employer will want to talk to them for a reference. You are only hurting yourself. Why not quit and ask how long they would like you to stay? Worst case is two weeks, and they might even set you free that afternoon...

Maybe you could sell the excess on eBay.

I know I hurt my wife, and myself. And if I really wanted to make my life easy I would go back and tell her I love her and I needed to be with her. That is not true for me, so I haven't said it. We are living together, but that's about it rigth now, we're not really a couple. Maybe we will be, maybe not. My point is that just because your husband said it doesn't mean it is true. Sorry, but that is the reality of these situations. I was spurned by someone and went back home. Did your husband walk away, or was he sent packing?

Sadly, I would have to say that I've sort of given up on the concept of happiness. I thought with my affair partner I was headed in the right direction. How wrong I was. Now I feel like I'm stuck and there is no point even trying anymore.

Thank-you for your support and advice everyone. I really need it right now. I can't be 100% sure about the answer to the question above. I suspect I would have seen her again if it was an option. It isn't an option, she changed her mind. My wife? It's business relationship now, we are both better off together than we are apart, but that is the extent of it for right now. I wish I could feel the same feelings I did with my affair partner, but I don't right now. Not sure I ever did. The affair only showed me that I could be happier with someone else. Maybe it wasn't real, maybe it would fade quickly. I'll never know. What hurts me most is that for once in my life I tried to do something for myself, that's not normal for me, I'm a martyr, I always take it on the chin for my family, my business, everything, or so it seems. And it back-fired. So I saw something I wanted, something that made me happy, and the rug was pulled out from under my feet. The contrast between the two states, pleasure and depression only makes things worse. I'll get over it. Eventually. But it won't be soon.

A plastic surgeon will just lop it off, it will be frozen and you won't feel it. But it does need to be cauterized to stem the bleeding.

By lying about my 'affair' for a long time I destroyed my credibility with my wife. So even though I tell her it is over, and it truly is, she does not believe me. We are seeing a marriage councillor, at least I think we still are. But I can't blame her for not wanting to be with a man who thinks she's number 2, she wants a man who thinks she's number 1.

Here are my rules for affairs. If you are not married tune out, unless you're involved with a married person. 1. Don't do it. It will not end well. 2. It is temporary. She/he will get over you and move on. 3. Everyone loses. 4. Some lose more than others. 5. If you have children at home read rule #1 again. 6. If you are unhappy with your spouse, end your marriage and THEN find someone SINGLE. 7. There is no such thing as an innocent non-sexual affair. If you're wondering, yes I've probably ruined my marriage. Yes, I've been dumped by someone who decided that her husband wasn't all that bad. Yes I'm bitter and hurt. I spent many painful months of NC only to find out that she had decided a long time ago that it was over. She just forgot to tell me. Please take my advice, you do not want to end up like me. Trust me, spending the rest of your life thinking 'what if', it is an infinitely better choice than ruining your marriage. Add rules to your hearts content. I'm going home to cry myself to sleep. And no-one needs to say "I told you so" ....

I would, assuming you don't want him back. It will give you some closure, and you can move on with your life.

Sounds like your mind is made up, you just want us to confirm it...

Updated signature! Whooo Hooo! I don't think you should be concerned about the moments of despair, they will diminish with time, eventually the 'strong you' will be there all the time. I would be more concerned if you never had the good feelings. Time heals all wounds. And hopefully wounds all heels.

At some point you realize that 'this' is all there is, and if you're not happy with 'this' then some changes are in order. We tend to let our lives send us in whatever direction happens as life unfolds, sometimes people choose to stop accepting life as comes and rock the boat instead. Then you're considered to have 'changed', or gone through a crisis.