krogen

Hey, There's this sweet girl out there that I can't stop thinking about. I've known her only for a couple of months and I asked her out 3 times, but she always kept saying she's busy. So I tried forgetting about her and not talking to her / seeing her for a few days. She asked me on AIM one day if I was mad at her and I told her that I was (as in past). She asked me why and I told her because she always says that she's busy. She got really mad at told me that she WAS BUSY and she can't just around with people because her brother just came from Iraq (he's in the army). Then I got all emotional and wrote some really stupid crap about myself and sent it to her. Over 2 weeks flew by since then with no word and I still see her every day. She pretends that I don't exist. Awkward. I tried coming up to her a few times but I never did it. I'm too scared. I'd like to forget about her but I can't do it. And I would like to ask her out again knowing that she's not into me anyways. It's been like 2 months now and everything reminds me of her. TV commercials, internet, Christmas carols... I think talking to her would solve all my problems or it would make them bigger. I'd like to try again and quit at the same time. At least writing this down helps a little.

Thanks for posting. @ Layword My point is that it would be way better to hear a plain "No, I don't want to" then hearing the same "I can't go because...." couple of times from the same girl. I don't know if it's just me but when I hear "I can't go", to me, it means... "I can't go". It doesn't mean "No". I can't go anwywhere this Saturday because I'm going to have a family reunion thing. I'm for real. Did I say no? No, I didn't. I said that I can't go because I'm going to have a family reunion and I need to be there. Am I lying? Am I telling the truth? If I would hear the above from a nice girl I would take that as a true statement and I would ask her out again. And again. Until I would realize that she has no interest in me. That's sad and I have a harder time dealing with it then hearing a "No" answer. I guess I have to learn that hearing "I can't go because..." means "I don't want to go with you", at least in most situations. Thanks budman. I'll stick with that from now on.

I haven't been in many "real" relationships. In fact, I guess you could say I never dated a girl. I know, that's really sad. I'm almost 18 now. I have never kissed a girl in my life. My sister makes fun of me because of that. Or she did. She always says something that makes me feel like * * * *. I always try to turn it into a joke to make myself feel better. But I don't hate her for that. She's an all right sister. That's not the point though. Like I said, I never dated a girl. The answer to this is quite complex. It might be because I moved to the U.S. in the worst possible time for a teenager. I was 12, and when you're 12, you start to jump into the teenage years. You are established in your school's community, you have friends, you have people to talk to. Then, suddenly, everything is gone. You're in a place where you don't know anyone. Everyone speaks some other language. You don't understand anything they say. You have no friends. And you can't make friends. You are a social outcast. Well, that's my story. How does this relate to dating? It's just like with infants. An infant has to learn how to crawl first before walking. You have to learn how to speak before making friends. And after making friends comes the dating. Switching between these "segments" takes time. Quite a lot of time, in fact. A lot of foreign people have problems with this, not just me. Some people go through this faster, some slower. Depends on the situation. I think I'm the worst case scenario. Another reason for me never dating is that I am a shy person, or at least while I'm around people that I don't know well. Another reason is that I'm not that good looking. I don't care though. After getting this out of the way, what do I hate more than anything? When a guy asks a girl out she has two options. Say either yes or no. There's always a risk of getting the "no" answer but a guy always has to be prepared to hear it and deal with it. I understand it. What I don't understand is that some girls think that they have a third answer, which is that "I can't go because of (insert a lame excuse here)". A guy can take this answer in TWO ways. Either she really can't go but would like to or she just doesn't want to go because she thinks the guy is stupid/unattractive/whatever. Unfortunately, some guys take this answer as #1. I can't go but I would like to. So the guy aks a girl out again next week. What does he hear? The same thing. Maybe he will be so foolish he will ask the girl out again. And he does so. He hears the same thing. What's the problem with this? Hearing the same thing 3 times hurts way more than hearing a plain "no, I don't want to".

You see, I don't know if I like bowling since I have never bowled in my life. I see your point though (catering?). I'm not a very interesting person. I don't have too many hobbies (sports/places to go out/etc). I like parties though and if there's one, I always go. There is one tomorrow but it's a Polish party, meaning only Polish people will be there. I'd like to take her there but she would feel really awkward, I think. All of those people do speak English but you get the point. There's also another party on Sunday, not a Polish one. But since it's Sunday, I wouldn't be able to stay for too long, probably up to 12, which would leave me with less than 6 hours of sleep (school). I would hate that. I hate postponing this. It has been over a month since I asked her out. Thanks for the reply.

Hello, I'm going to call this girl tomorrow and I'm planning to ask her out. She ditched me last time (kind of) but I refuse to give up. I don't want to get deep into this because there's a huge story behind it. I can't go anywhere fancy because I don't have a job which means I can spend very little (I'm 18 and looking for a job...). It has to be fun, original, and cheap. She's in a hs bowling team and I was thinking about going bowling with her. Would this be a good idea? She has to go practice every day for 2 hours so I'm thinking she has enough of it during the week. And I have never bowled in my life. But then again, I'm thinking it would be fun for this single reason, which is that I can't bowl. She would have to teach me. Would this be a good idea? Have some fun, screw around, talk a little. That's how I see it.

Not exactly what I meant. I guess I should reword it. *done*

Hello, *First post* First... A little background. My name is Matt and I'm 18 (senior in high school). I never had a girlfriend in my life. (how sad is that? could be because I'm not a very interesting person (read: a geek/nerd/whatever) and because I was never really interested in going out. Looks could also be a factor, but not a big one (mediocre looking?). I'm also foreign (Polish). Moved to the U.S. about 6 years ago. I'd say my English is almost flawless but I still have some of my Polish accent. I'm a slow and quiet person. Or at least I tend to be. Inside though, I'm hyper and very outgoing. I don't show this "side" of me unless I'm with my best friends (or if get drunk). I guess I'm the best example out there of a clash between id and ego. Id is the more powerful one though and I can't really do anything about it... So there's this girl. I met her 3 years ago in a French class. I had a crush on her. I did nothing about it. I met her again this year in a Psychology class (that's where I got this ego, id, and superego stuff from ^^). Yeah, well, I had a crush on her again. There was a project due at the end of the class (semester) and I partnered up with her. There was not enough time to finish the project in class so we decided to meet at her house. To make the story short, I heard some horrifying things there. She's sexually abused by her father (verbally sexually, as far as I know) and her mom is more of like her friend than a mom. Class ended and instead of having psych we now have a free class together. I asked her out couple weeks ago. She smiled and said that she works on Friday but she will call me on Saturday. I waited the whole day for her call but she didn't. I sent her a message asking what happened. She said she forgot. Did I get rejected? You might say yes but I know she forgets things... A lot. When I came to her house to finish the project she wasn't there. I called her and she was like "Oh my God... I'm so sorry, Matt. I forgot. I'll be right there in 5 minutes". There's more. I left my binder at her house (lol) on that day. I called her and told her to bring it next day. Well, I had to wait a little more than a day because... She forgot. I haven't done anything since then. We just sit together during the free class. Talk? Not that much. So far I'm pretty sure we have like nothing in common except that we like the same music. Opposites attract? I dunno. Seems like a disaster in a long run to me. I'm thinking about asking her out again. And there are her friends which seem very emo (I don't know them though...). And there's nothing that I hate more than emo kids. I read on her blog that her friends are the most important thing in her life. Well, I don't see myself hanging out with them. At all. And there are my friends. They say that she's ugly and I shouldn't even look at her (Yeah... They're a little shallow). I think she's the cutest living person out there. Not hot, cute. Very. Now, should I even bother? She has a *** up family, her friends are weird, she has some memory issues. I don't think we also have much in common. *Try* to forget about her? Or should I ask her out and see what happens? Thanks for reading. Hopefully it's not too much. Tried to make it short.