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StaceyMay

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About StaceyMay

  • Birthday 01/07/1986

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  1. Because he is stringing you along like a rag doll. He wants his cake and eat it too and he knows that you are the perfect girl for that. You have proved that by constanlty attending to him everytime he comes to you with those pathetic "I miss you's". You got to realize sweetie guys of his type will take advantage of you if you will allow them to. Sad but true. I wish you the best....you deserve it!
  2. Well I do not really know much about your situation nor the reasoning behind the impulses you get to cut yourself. So with that said I will offer my best advice. Maybe you should get some counseling to deal with this because what you're doing is not healthy at all. I can understand your spouse being upset, it probably scares her and she worries about you. Maybe the two of you could talk first and then visit a couselor for this matter. I would suggest couseling for just you alone first and then maybe after a few sessions, the two of you. Good Luck!
  3. First off thank you for your insite. Secondly, no it is not the same women. This "friend" is an attractive woman whom he hasnt seen in 8 years, they exchanged numbers and when he new I was out eating with my girlfriends he took it upon himself to take my kids to her house to talk, claiming he ran into her at a gas station. I think he is craving attention from an attractive women. And as vulnerable and depressed as he is now Im not sure how he would handle being given a personal invite from her. Afterall she is single, lives alone and pretty. I quess I am just very insecure. Lastly, I am not calling him, AT ALL. However I am recieving every phone call from him. Im not ignoring them. Do you think I should ignore a few of his calls? You are a guy would it make you wonder what I was doing and maybe question your decision?
  4. But I dont want him to feel like I dont care about him at all. I am afraid he would really consider straying then. Finding comfort in another woman or alcohol is likely in the state of mind he is in. I dont want that.
  5. Me and my husband of three years finally hit our breaking point Sunday when I discovered that he was confiding in a "female friend" about our marriage and his unhappiness. Thats not good, AT ALL. He decided to leave me and go stay with his dad for a while. But before he left we actually talked after we both calmed down. He said he was just so unhappy and he felt unappreciated and unloved. He said the female was a friend from 8 years ago that he had reunited with and he had only called her a few times and went to her house once (with our kids). I was furious! This situation wouldnt be so bad if we were not already trying to overcome infidelity. Anyways, I want him to know that I am not a doormat for him to wipe his feet all over and that he can not strattle the fence. He cried to me Sunday and said he was sorry and that he just needed some time to find himself. He needed time to find happiness again. I comforted him but I did not shed one tear and I told him that I would give him his space and that I wouldnt call him, he could call me. I made sure to express my love for him and concern for him but I was ok with it because I am not the same person either. I am unhappy and suffer from depression and I needed time for myself as well. I have already taken a few steps in discovering contentment, I have started taking a mild antidepressant once a day. Since then he has called me 4 times to check on me and our son, I havent called him once and its driving me crazy not knowing what he's thinking or how he's feeling. However I am nice with him on the phone and bring up nothing personal that could cause an argument. Here's the Question.....By not calling him, which by the way is completely out of my character, I am usually calling and calling, begging and pleading, is it the best way to let him know that I respect his time to think and to know that I am not going to be run over anymore? Am I letting him know that I am not sitting at home crying while he goes out and has fun. Im I making him think that Im stronger now and he may really lose me this time?? Will it make him second guess his actions and decisions? I dont know....I just want to do whats right without being used and mistreated. I love him and I want whats best for us. Any advice please??
  6. In a marraige, when you have had your share of obstacles and bumps in the road and you are getting tired and overwehlmed. It seems you somehow lose the person you were, its like you have lost that person inside you that your spouse adored and vise versa. Where and how do you even begin to get it back? Where do you start building that friendship again, that companionship that you miss so much. Especially when you know its still there but just probably hidden by hurt and scars? How do you save a marriage that has been slowly getting bad for so long and all you want is that companionship, acceptance and happiness back? Would it be irrational to let go of something that you still love so much? Is it a process, first finding out who you are ( because in all honesty, I dont know anymore) and then working to rebuild the closeness?? I dont know, I just want this to work so bad, my husband does too but we have lost our friendship, our closness, we are not who we fell in love with, there's no "missing me" when he's gone or phone calls at work just to say I was thinking about you. Im hurt, Im exhausted and I guess......desperate..
  7. Wow, most men would feel over joyed to have a women so into her fantasies. I guess its because most cases men are the sex freaks, perhaps that's due to the extreme amounts of testoterone. My husband would feel like a kid in a toy store.....lol...he wouldn't know which toy toy play with first... Maybe you should spice things up a bit...who know you may enjoy it and if not just tell her. Ask if there's other ways you can please her that maybe you would enjoy too.
  8. I think Simon is either extremely immature or there was something going on within your relationship that was and has been upsetting him for a while now. Have you called to ask him what gave him the desire to cheat and if there was something wrong in your relationship that could have justified his affair? I think you deserve to know exactly why he did what he did and with the answers you can understand if it was miscommunication between the two of you or just a permiscuous man. Hope this helps you!
  9. From the beginning.......My husband and have been married almost 3 years and have been together for 4. We started out so perfect, something God could only create. He was my everything. When we married I was young and never married before and he was divorced with a one year old child in which he had full custody of. After our wedding we settled into a comfortable home out in the country of my hometown which is approx. one hour and a half away from his hometown. Things were going great but immediatley after our wedding I started feeling tired all of the time, I was extremely moody and depressed. I would cry about spilt milk and would snap at my husband about the littlest things. It didnt take me long to find out that I was 6 weeks pregnant. Along with pregnancy came a new me, my hormones were twisted and I was in a deep depression that had to have medication to treat it. I was no longer interested in my husband sexually and I despised him. I stayed sick, I vomited for 4 or 5 months every day. It was horrible. I became a real witch. After my son was born things didnt change with me much, I stayed on anti depressants as long as I could afford to keep taking them and they helped some. My husband had grown accustomed to me lashing out and would just sit back and watch me pitch my fits instead of consolling and giving me my way like he used to. I cant say I blame him. I knew he was tired of being run over and neglected. And when he finally had enough and we separated for the first time, he moved in with his dad back in his hometown, I knew that it was my fault and I had drove him to that point. So after about 2 months of reconciling with him about coming home he finally talked me into moving in with him. It was ok for a while, apparently in the two months that we had been separated he took up drinking and that was an issue. Eventually things got out of hand...late nights out drinking, late bills, bars and no work. Something had to give, I was hurt, I didnt even know this man anymore. Not to mention how lonely and vulnerable I was. I slipped and turn to someone else, someone who I had loved before and who had loved me and one night made a mistake that I vowed would never happen again. I made a promise to myself that night that I would rather live with the guilt than to tell him and hurt him even more than I had before. It wasnt long after that, that I moved in with a friend and went and discussed divorce with a lawyer. But during that seperation I realized that I loved my husband and I didnt want a divorce because I knew what kind of man he used to be and I felt as if I didnt do everything I could to get that man back. I went home, of course it was good for awhile and then the fighting and the drinking just became habit until one night I asked him if we could get counseling,to my surprise he agreed. Talking to a couselor was tuff, we held nothing back, I regretfully admitted my wrong doing and the shame associated with it and SHOCKINGLY he admitted a one night stand he had had a year prior. I was devastated! Not MY husband! Which brings me to present.....My husband and I are much better now that we have had some counseling, he has sincerely expressed his regrets in his wrong doings and we have cryed together knowing how much we hurt one another, we fight less, he has been completely sober for about 10 months, We have been honest with one another as far as I am concerned. But the thing is I dont trust him at all. I constantly question him, check his phone, check the phone bill, check his email etc. Its like I am always searching for some clue to prove his unfaithfulness. I am always on the defense about it. I am extremely jealous and I cant stand for him to speak to another female in passing much less chit-chat with an old highschool friend. This jealousy and mistrust has consumed me. I am so afraid of being hurt again and yet I know that this behavior will eventually push him away. Even after what I have done to him, he doesnt question me or spy on me...he trust me. How does he do it? How does he let it go? I want to so bad but I am afraid of letting my guard down because my luck is as soon as I start trusting him or giving him an inch he will let me down. I am driving myself crazy along with my husband!!!
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