David83

I heard the worst ever news today, i didnt think this could get any worse!! I got a call of ben's ex leanne and she told me that deborah and ben started a relationship on friday!, we broke up webnesday from nearly 2 year relationship, found out it was partly to do with ben on thrusday and find out they started going out on friday!! Thats not the worst part!! they have already said that they love each other!!!!, how the hell do you got from a relationship of nearly 2 years to having some feeling for someone over the past couple of weeks, to starting a realtionship 2 days after breaking up, to telling them you love them??? Has every time she said she loved me not really been true or am i missing something here? nobody can turn feelings on and off like that! can they?? it doesnt seem humanly possible to me! But it just really hurts that when we broke up she said that she could never start a realtionship with anyone else anytime soon as she needs time to get over our breakup first, but 2 days later blatantly lie and start a relationship!! im just so upset right now, i didnt think she was like this, and he was over her house to meet her parents on saturday! do these two have no feelings for anyone else at all other than themselves, how can they not sit there feelings guilty for what they have done to me and leanne, all my friends found out and they have lost so many friends by doing this, so i dont seem how it could ever last between them, all they have in common are me, leanne and my friends, now they havebt got me, leanne or my friends as my friends WERE there friends, all they have are each other, and everything they think about is going to involve me, leanne or our friends, if they break up they are going to have nobody, only themselves! I just wish they wernt being so selfish and thought about other aswell as themselves! But why do i still love her, i should hate her for this, but i just cant hate her, i still love her!??? im hurting so much right now! has everything been lies?!

I decided that i wasnt going to see her today, we had it planned for her to come through to my house where i live with my student friends for her to pick all of her stuff up today, But i woke up this morning and i decided that i was not upto seeing her just yet, i sent her a text message saying something along the lines of: "As much as i want to see you again, i just think im not ready yet, as i keep thinking that next time i see you everything will be ok between us and ben will be forgotten and i dont want to get my hopes up, you know that i am still in love with you and will be for a long time, and the break-up was not my fault so it is upto you to come to me and tell me that you love me, you know where i am if you want to come through anytime and tell me, or call or text me!, we had some great times together and i hope that one day we can continue and complete all of the plans we had together for the future, remember not seeing you today is not because i hate you, because i never could, its the complete opposite, love you lots xxx" And she replied with the following: "Hey sweetie, its ok about not wanting to see me today, i understand, remember you will be the first to know if my feelings change xxx" The i replied with the following: "Hey sweetie, (Said this because she said it to me first) hope something changes soon, as you know how much im hurting, its you who needs to tell me you love me as you know i already do, miss you (Couldnt help putting tht in there, its hard for me to not put it in there!) luv u xxx" Is this thing a good thing that happened or bad? im not getting my hopes up about it but the question i ask is this, why would she still call me sweetie if her feelings for me were not there within her somewhere? Im gonna try my best to get mad with her but i just cant, people keep telling me that the anger will come after the love for her starts to disappear, but i know my love for her will never disappear anytime soon! i should hate fer for what she has done to me but i just cant! im trying to get over her but i cant do that either, nobody can expect me to get over her straight away, if i did then i wouldnt have a heart! Me and ben's ex leanne and some friends were going to go out for a drink tonight to drown our sorrows, but we decided against it, because i am at home with my parents at the minute for an easter holiday, and all of deborah's things are in my student house where we normally all get together and have a good drink in before we go out, and because i decided against seeing deborah today all of her stuff is still in the house and it will just bring back to many memories for me, and having some drinks with all of that stuff around will just make me depressed! plus the club we were gonna go to is the same place we always used to go to and we have friends there and if they see us all coming in without ben and deborah then they are going to be asking us where they are and this will make us upset aswell! I think i made the right choice here! My sister lives in manchester, like 5 hours away by coach to where i live now and she has invited me down to her house for a few days to take my mind of things, do you think this break will do me any good? i think it will but at the same time im not sure, as me and deborah stayed there over new year and i dont know if this will also bring memories back, but on the other hand i have more memories here at home than i do there?

Hi My name is david and i am heart broken as i just broke up with a girl called Deborah who i love very much!, and i would like some help, if anyone has any! this is quite long so please have patience and take the time to read it as these are my feelings, and i appreciate the fact that anyone would take the time to read them! thanks! I met my girlfriend (ex ) at my friend and her cousins wedding a year and 8 months ago!, we hit it off straight away, and we fell in love and done everything together, i moved to university 2 months into our relationship and we stayed together and she visited during the week and at weekends when she was off work!, we had a great relationship, had fun all the time and she took me on holiday last june for 21st birthday, we flew on my birthday and it was such an amazing time!, about a month ago, we started going out to a local club on saturday nights with my friends and his girlfriend and some other friends, we were having such a great time time together she told me how much she loved me and she would love to be with me for the rest of her life! and i said the same and i meant it! The past week i know there was something wring with her as she was being distant, but she kep saying she was fine, but i asked her again in the next few days and she told me what was wrong, it hit me so hard!, she said that she doesnt know what her feelings are towards me anymore, she doesnt know if she is in love with me just wants to be friends!! obviously i got upset and i cried! we started talking and she said we will not break up until she sorts her feelings out so this made me happy and we watched a film and snuggled up and stuff!, this was monday, then the wednesday came and she said we need to talk and she said that it wasnt fair on me that she feels this way so we should have some time apart, this was hard for me but i had to accept it, i asked her outright, does it have anything to do with anyone else and she said no! i believed her, and she kept saying there is always hope and a chance that her feelings will come back in time and, everyone kept telling me that if we are meant to be together then we will find each other!! But this is where it really broke my heart: At the same time, i found out that my friend and his girlfriend who we used to go to the club wiuth broke up aswell, i talked with his girlfriend and we kinda got suspitious, they used the same excuse (i love you as a friend), i rang my ex and asked her if our breakup had anything to do with ben, and she said yes part of it did, and he confessed to his ex aswell! We found out that for about 3 weeks my ex and ben had been talking about there feelings for each other, nothing had happened between them so they werent cheating but they lied to us both behind our backs! My ex said she doesnt know what she wants, if she is still in love with me or if she would like to start something with ben, this killed me because the exact same thing happened to me 2 years ago and ben was involved then and i had only just started to fogive him for it and he has done it again! She saus she still loves me but isnt sure if she is in love with me or not!, for some reason i can hate her for this as i know as good as anyone else that you cannot help feelings! But i just dont understand how she could hurt me like this, specially when i told her about what happened to me before and she said she would never hurt me! but in the long run she has done exactly the same, i dont know how she could do this to me and her friend, and i dontkow how ben can do this to his girlfriend and me! Surely they must know they are hurting us both and they should know that nothing should become of them if they do not want to hurt us even more, they just seem to be thnking of themselves and it hurts so bad! I really want her back as i am very much still in love with her and ide have her back in a heartbeat, i just hope in time she will realise that it would be stupid to throw away our 1 year and 8 month relationship over some small feelings she has had for a few weeks! The thing i dont get is, is that we have always had happy times, we have never had a major argument and our relationship has always been healthy and even very intimate, we were only intimate last week when i saw her, i dont understand why she would do this with me if her feelings werent there for me, as she is not the kind of person to use anyone! she is one of the most kind and gentle people i have ever met and she would not mean to hurt anyone i know she wouldnt, i just hope that ben is not swaying her feelings away from me, but on the other hand she has a mind of her own and i dont think she would be forced into anything! Can anyone please help me into what i can do, or if there is anything i can do other than wait and see where her true feelings lie? thanks for listning, a very heart broken 21 year old!

Yeah i know how you feel Jim, for some reason i would take Lisa back in a second, i know i should be hating her right now but i just cant, basically because i still love her, and i know for a fact that i always will, im hurting so much right now, ive lost 16 lbs because i havent been eating properly, she just means so much to me, even now!

I dont really know what i do to flirt to be honest, but what i do know is that i keep looking at the girl, look straight at there eyes, and if they look back at me and stay looking for longer than normal then that is a good sign, and also if i am talking to them i just have a laugh with them, show them that you can have a good laugh together, and i offer to buy them a drink, but that all depends if your old enough and if you are in a pub/bar environment, if they say yes then, thats also a good sign! Good luck anyways!

If there are regular members on here than you will know what has happened to me but if you arent then please check my other topics in the 'Love' forum, thanks! Well me and my ex have been apart for over 2 months now, and we went out to a club we always used to go to about 4 weeks ago, but it didnt go well, as you will be able to tell from obe of my other topics. She never spoke to me after that, even though i done nothing wrong, i sent her a message every now and again afterwards, just asking how she was and if she was having a good day, nothing major just general chit chat, thens he sent one back saying that like was great for her at the minute, and that i should stop saying 'Love david' at the end of messages because we are not going out anymore, she said that she had moved on i should too, but when we were out at the club, why sis she keep looking at me whenever i spoke to another girl?? so i sent her a message back saying how can someone who you has loved someone for 2 1/2 years and were engaged to just move on that quick, and i said that i thought that her new friends had hcanged her, because it is the truth they have changed her but she is being to stubborn to realise, then i got a reply saying, that she has not changed, she has just grown up, and that i should too. Which was balls because she has changed because of her friends. Then i got another one and she said that she thinks it will be far to hard for us to be friends and that i am being childish???, i was thinking to myself 'What the......' well i said to her of course we can be frends its just hard for me to understand how someone can move on so quick, i wanna still be friends and we can still talk. and i said please dont forget about me!. I said that because i love her so much! this was on a wednesday, it was my birthday coming up on the sunday. It got to saturday and i got up early to check the mail to see if i got a card off her for my birthday because there is no post on sundays, but i didnt get one, and i though to myself, she might give me one in person tomorrow, it came to my birthday and i didnt get a card or even a message or a call to say happy birthday, i was really hurt by this because she could have at least said happy birthday, i wasnt bothered about no card or present! That wasnt the main thing that hurt me, i got a phone call from my friend Ben, asking me if i would like to go down the club, that we always go to, including me and lisa when we were together, but i said no because i had no money, then i got a call from my sister, and it wasnt very good news. She said ive got some bad news for you, i dunno if i should tell you or not, but i said go ahead, and she told me that Lisa had a new boyfriend and that she is down the club with him now, i was gutted!!, she didnt even tell me she had a new boyfriend, and she went down the club that i always go to with him, and didnt even tell me, i had to find out from one of my friends!!, now how low is that!!??, i was really really hurt, not by the f act that she had a new boyfriend but the way i found out about it, everyone i know from the club new before me?, it hurt so much, so i sent lisa a lng message telling her what i though of her, and telling her how much she has hurt me by not telling me and letting my find out by someone else. But then i found out who her new boyfriend was, then i started to laugh!! because he is a boy i used to work with a couple of months ago, he is only 16, 17 max and he takes drugs!!, im not being big headed or nothng but how she could have moved from me to a 16 year old druggie??, she is 19 on august 3rd for christ sakes!, he isnt even old enough to be in the club that they go to. Ii was laughing so hard when i found out, and everyone i know is laughing at it, because he is a little bastard, and he gets beat up like every other week because is tries to be cocky with everyone, and ends up getting beat up. Me and my friends say that it will last about 1 week 2 weeks maximum with him, because her parents are very very against people who takes drugs and they will hate him, i dont know what she is thinking! But i am worried for her, she is a really nice person at heart and i dont wanna see her starting to smoke and take drugs just so she can be like him, if she does i will lose all respect for her, people keep telling me to get him sorted out and give him a good beating, but im not like that, i wil exchange words with him and tell him what i think of him, specially because as he was supposed to be a friend and knows what me and lisa have been going through?? They cant be getting along very well, because i found out that when they were out lisa was crying on the stairs, and they were both sitting there for 2 hours??, i know she isnt right for him, but i suppose she has to learn for herself, i just feel like an idiot losing a girl i was engaged to and then fiding out she is going out with a 16-17 year old druggie! i dont think she knows what she is wanting right now, and hopefully she will realise how much i meant to her? But i have a problem..... Why do i still love and care for her?? spcially when she has done something like this to me?, im supposed to be hating her right now right?, i am very pissed off at her, but i cant hate her?m why is this, i dont understand, i just still love her, and i probably always will!!, please help me

I know im not a moderator or anything but your asking a what is your favourite cartoon question in the relationship forum! lol Anyways, my favourite cartoon ever is The Transformers, i'm 20 this month and i have just spent loads of money buying loads of transformers DVD's they are the best! But for laughing wise, ide say family guy, its just hilarious, exactly my type o humour aswell, and stewie rocks! have you seen the episode on how we got his oval shaped head?? lol my god that episode is hilarious!

To me success is getting everything that you have aimed for in life, whether it be a jop you have always wanted, a house, the perfect partner e.t.c, because everyone wants to meet their perfect partner, and hopefully grow up with them and get married and live happily ever after dont they?, well i do, and i feel i have found that partner but we are having problems getting to this happily ever after stage!

Yeah if you get back to us with the answers for the questions that have been asked above, we may be able to help you more, because if you dont even know the girl and she doesnt know your name or even who you are, if you go upto her and tell her that you love her she will be really freaked out, trust me, you at least need to know her name and her yours and have at least spoken before!

So amber, in this time you spent together at camp, did anything happen between you two? like did you kiss or snything like that? because from the description, i cant make out whether or not your meaning of spending time together was you two as a couple or just as friends?? But if you really feel this way about him, i suggest giving him a call?, does he live far away from you? if not why not ask him if you two could meet up sometime, and tell him how you feel?, because it is always best telling someone how you feel about them when you are face to face, but if this can not happen then slip it into the conversation on the phone?, you keeping these feelings inside you are not helping you, it will become worse for you if you keep them bottles up inside, and if you dont let him know somehow how you feel about him, then he will never know! I hope this helps, good luck amber, if you do let him know how you feel remember to let us all know, so we can find out what happened! Good luck!

Thanks man! thats exactly what people keep telling me, as far as i'm concerned i done nothing wrong at all, and i dont think she had an answer prepared for a question like that, hopefully in time she will realise how much she over reacted and she will get back to me, i really love her more than anything ever and i think she definatly knows this now!

Well this is a follow up to my other topic where i said we were going out on the night. it is going to be very very long as it describes what happened on the whole night, so please read it, as it has taken me a long time to write it and it was hard for me because it made me remind myself of what happened i will appreciate it if you read it and give your views! thank you! well heres what happened: Me and my friend got to the club first at 7:30 and we had a drink, and we sat down and my lisa's ex boyfriend Ben came over with his girlfriend (who is a very good friend of my sister), i wasnt bothered about them sitting with us because lisa didn really class him as a bf because he was mean to her and it is over and done with now. and at the same time Ben's ex girlfriend was sitting a couple of tables away from us, i have known her for a while now. Me and my friend sat and talked with ben and his girlfriend for a while, and then Lisa came in with her friend, she went to the bar and got a drink and sat with us. It was very awkward for me at first because i didnt know what to talk to her about, but i introduced myself to her friend, and said hello and stuff, and me and lisa started to talk about stuff, we were having a great time, we were laughing and joking for a few hours, it was going great, i wasnt expecting anything to happen between us but it was going good anyways. I baught lisa and her friend a drink as a surprise for when they came back from the toilets or something, and they said thank you and she give me a lovely smile like she used to when we were going out. we all got up to dance to some songs that we all liked and then sat back down, she asked me to request a song for her and her friend, so i did and she said thank you, even though it never got played. Thats the good part Well i was sitting there and Ben's ex girlfriend asked to talk to me so i said ok and i went over and talked to her for a while, and everyone was saying that Lisa kept looking at me to see what i was doing (a hint of jealousy maybe??), anyway, we talked for a while, and she asked me how me and lisa were, and i said that this is the first time i have seen her since we broke up, and i told her it was going well because it was, and then she asked me if i wanted her to say something to lisa, and i said NO, because i want something to happen naturally not by people pestering her all the time with questions, so she said ok i wont, and i said i would talk to her later, and then i exited the room and went to the toilet, and when i came back from the toilet, Ben came through the dorrs and said what is Angela (Bens ex i keep metioning) doing talking to lisa, and i thought to myself "Oh my god!! what is she saying, i told her not to say anything", so i went back in the room and went over to angela and asked her what she had said to lisa, and she said that she went over and asked lisa if she was gonna get back with me or not, and i went mad, i was like, why the hell did you say something, i specifically told you not to, you have possibly ruined everything for me, and she said that she felt bad about what she had done. So then i went and sat down next to lisa and asked her if she was alright, and she said no, and i said whats wrong and she said nothing, so i told her that i have known her for a long time and i can tell if something is wring with you so please tell me, and she said "I dont like ebing asked by people if i am going to get back with you, and we are definatly not going to get back together now", i was gutted, i think that lisa thinks i told angela to ask her if she was gonna get back with me, but i didnt, i told her not to, so i picked up my drink and went outside. At this pint i started to cry because everything was going so well for the majority of the night and now it has come to this just becuse of something that someone did not listen to me. I told angela that she had ruined everything for me, i came back in the club and lisa and her friend were nowhere to be seen, she wasnt outside either so she must have been in the toilets, well she was definalty still in the club because i had lisa's and her friends bags inside my bag. she was gone for about 20-30 mins, so im thinking that she must have been upset about what she had said and was upset in the girls toilets. The end of the night came and she came back in the room and got her bags from inside mine and she didn say a thing to me, my friend who was with me went over to lisa on the dancefloor and told her how i felt and that i still loved her, and she just ignored him. We went outside and i could see her dad waiting in the car for her, i really wanted to go and talk to him but i didnt, i got upset outside and my friends came over to me to comfort me, i was crying again i said that i felt like a wimp, but they said dont be stupid, its best to let it all out, and they all said that they had never seen me like this about anyone or snything since they first knew me. I could see lisa and her friend in the background talking to some guys, i know it was just friendly talk because i kow who they are and we ourselves were talking inside of the club., the time came and lisa headed towards her dads car to get picked up, she didnt even say goodbye so i said to my friend we may aswell, start waling home. We got to the end of the street and lisa's dads car went passed and stopped and her dad asked us if we would like a lift home, but i said no it was ok because i was upset, and getting in the car with lisa would not have helped things, so he said ok and he could tell i was upset, so he drove off and then he stopped the car again and got out. he walked over to me and asked if i was ok, i said i wasnt, and he said that it was not the end of the world, but i dissagreed, and he told me that he really liked me and he thought the world of me and he really wished that everything had worked out between me and lisa, and he said that i should move on, but i told him that i have tried and it doesnt work, and he said that it wasnt my fault, i dont know what he meant by this but i am guessing that lisa must have told him in the car what had happened. and it wasnt my fault, i didnt tell angela to say anything to her. He told me not to get upset, and that he would see me later and then he got in the car and went, i was hoping lisa would have got out to talk to me but she didnt! and i was upset and me and my friend walked home I'm not gonna give up on her because what happened was not my fault, it was angela's, and when you are in a club atmosphere with people who are used to seeing two people together you are bount to get people asking you if you are back together or not. in my eyes i didnt do a thing wrong at all, it was going so well until angela opened her mouth, and i hope she realised what she has done. And by now lisa can see how much i care about her and how much i love her, her dad saw how upset i was over her, so he will have told her that, and i just think that she blew the whole thing out of proportion, what do you guys think? she must still have feelings for me because people could see how well we were getting on and how she kept looking at me from over the room when i was not next to her, and why would she say "We are definatly not gonna get back together NOW" if she wasnt planning on getting back with me at some point?? So im not gonna give up on her because seeing her again was amazing, and i realised when i saw her again, just why i loved her in the first place, and how beautifull she is, and i really think that we have a chance together, im not gonna give up that easily, she is my soulmate. Now hopefully lisa will realise how much she over-reacted and she can definatly tell how much i love her, i sent her a text message this morning sayig "Im sorry for what happened last night, but you have got to believe that it was not my fault, i still love you and i cant help how i feel, talk to you soon, love david xx" i think this was a good idea because at least now she will know that it wasnt my fault and that i still love her but i cant help my feelings, so i think now all i can do is wait for her to reply, im gonna give her a week or two and if she hasnt replied or contacted me, i will phone her, what do you think? Thanks for listning

Cool, thanks, well if you are planning on getting it soon, then there are loads of them going cheap on ebay, £1.50-£2.00, im gonna get one!

Ive heard alot about this book, and i have read that it has helped out thousands of people in relationships, has anyone on here read this book, and can you tell me if it is any good, and is it a book for women or is it a unisex book, do men read it aswell?, because i was thinking about buying it off ebay lol it mayhelp me out a little! Thanks

Yeah im am very happy that we are friends, and i am over the moon that we are going out tomorrow, cos i will be able to see her again! It sounds like your in basically the same situation as me, i bet she used to be very close to you, and used to always rely on you, and then when she got her job and met new friends it all started to go the way of the pear! she said to me a wile back that she is enjoying being herself at the minute, but on the phone call today she told me that her friends from work will be leaving soon, one is going to germany for a year and the other are leaving for university and getting new jobs, so she wont have these friends anymore soon, so hopefully this will give us a chance again, because at the minute her friends are just getting in the way, but i am very happy for her because having friends has been a big part of her life, because she had a hard time through college, friend wise. Its really hard not being with someone who you have such big feelings for, and the person that you love the most, it just doesnt feel right!. I tell you what mate, i know its hard, it was for me, but give her some space, i left her alone for a month, it was the hardset month of my life, i didnt call her or contact her in anyway, and then after a month i called her and now we contact each other again, it was the hardest yet best thing i think ive ever done, she will respect you for it. All i need to do now is play things cool, and see what develops, im not gonna force anything on her or talk about US, im juts gonna have a good time and be happy about the fact that im gonna se her again!, if you wanna talk about things feel free to pm me ok, i will try my best to help you out considering we are going through the same situation!