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missklew

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  1. Almost every man I have known who was married or still is was married between the ages of 24-26. My ex 1st marriage at 24. An old flame married at 25 Another old flame at 24 I work mostly with guys and they were all married within the age range and 2 others who are 26 just got engaged. Wonder what it is about that age range?
  2. You seem to be talking about a 10 year difference. The older you get, the less that will matter. Women tend to live longer than men. You really don't know who would die first. Your viewpoint of a 60 year old woman as non sexual is from your view point being a young man. When you are 50, that viewpoint will be different. She will most likely be well established in her career. She knows how to cook.
  3. Thanks, I'll be posting. I gave myself a pep talk. I have been letting negative situations, people, and my own fears get to me. I'm focusing on my preparations for the move. Still haven't heard a peep from the bf. He knows where I am.
  4. He could be deeply hurt about it as that is when everything seemed to change. 5 weeks or 5 years, I think things affect people differently. There have been probably 3 things that my bf has done that really hurt me and those things may not have bothered someone else at all. The latest is him not letting me stay with him at his apartment. Yeah it hurts really bad. For the OP I don't think there is much to do at this point. He may have just shut out any possibility for a relationship.
  5. Yes emotional support would be good. I just have a somewhat negative mind set.
  6. I'm still angry and hurt though. I think that he could do more to help me. We both frequently say negative things as we are both rather negative people. I say things about our relationship too that are very negative. Thankfully 99.5% of the negative things I think he never hears! I ask from time to time if he still wants me there. It is probably annoying but being apart for months at a time messes with my head. I do have a time limit on this relationship though. If I don't get a job and so on in his country in the time I have alloted to stay there, I will end the relationship as there really would be no point to it anymore if we couldn't be together. Thanks for the well wishes!
  7. Yes, I can still rent my own place as that is what I had originally planned. I see what you are saying. Maybe it is my way of thinking to be helpful and maybe that just isn't how everyone thinks. It also may turn out that I would be the one uncomfortable with it. He might get on my nerves or something! Yes he did say that about our relationship then but he has since then made it clear he wants me and wants me there. Still, I don't plan to let him take advantage of me either.
  8. Jeffrey, thanks. I almost feel guilty to break up with him as just 2 days ago he told me that is what he feared unless it was some sort of unconscious manipulative ploy on his part????? You are right. I have been so good to this man! I have scraped and sacrificed heaps to make this happen. It is also hard as I have had the mindset of moving to another country for over a year, preparing myself mentally I suppose. kellbell, thanks for the reminder. Yes I guess I thought since I was renting my own place and he frequently complained about living with his sister, I would just invite him to live with me back then. I made those plans to rent my own place as I wasn't counting on him having his own place by the time I moved there. Yes it was assumed we would be shacking up as every other time I have been there he has pretty much lived with me. The longest period of time was 3 months and he was there 247 and lived with me, did chores with me and the whole nine yards. I was there in September but only for 2 weeks and he stayed with me 247 again. He went grocery shopping for me and I cooked for him. So it doesn't make a bit of sense in my mind for him to say one thing and his actions say the opposite? If I can get over my anger I will have to decide if I am still moving there or not but if I do, our relationship will be very different. I would probably put it back to just dating and might even want to see other men. If he wants this, he has to step up and do something. He just can't sit there and think he is going to get all of the benefits of marriage without having to a thing for it. That is what I get for being too kind. Another sad part is he has no idea how hurt and angry I am about this as he thinks after our talk, everything is fine.
  9. Something happened between the bf and I and I am feeling so hurt, betrayed, and resentful I don't know how to deal with it or move on from it. I am supposed to be moving to his country in 3 months. This has been planned for over a year and the year has been a very difficult one and I have worked very hard to be able to do this. Our relationship has been going on for 2 1/2 years. I had planned on just renting a place as he didn't have his own place but knew he was looking for his own place and had it in the back of my mind that if he had his own place I could stay with him which would makes things a lot easier for me to get established in a new country. He tells me last week he finally found a place to stay and I was so happy for him as he has been looking for a long time. I thought I would wait until he got settled in before talking to him about me staying there with him for awhile when I moved there. I was still thinking about getting my own place but a few weeks with him while I look would be extremely helpful. So two days later he is talking about moving to the new apartment and he announces that his sister is moving in with him. I said well what about me? I thought I would be staying with you for a bit when I got there. He told me he assumed we'd have separate places. This part was going on in text so I didn't want it to continue in text so I called him to talk. He said that he owed his sister a huge favor for letting him stay with her the past year and he couldn't just kick his sister out in the street. The thing is she has a place to stay! She isn't being forced to move and certainly wouldn't be out in the street! Plus I have done heaps for him too! I don't know how it happened but he managed to smooth things over with me but I still wasn't allowed to stay there. I guess I feel like he calls the shots and I just have to go along with it as just because it is what he wants and I just have to accept it. I forgot to bring it up but I don't see why the two of us could have stayed there? Another thing that burns me up is that I know how it will be when I get there as this is what he has done before. He will hang out at my place 247 expecting me to play wifey for him and do all the things a wife would do. I do want to do those things but I think he needs to meet my needs too and not just one sided. The next day I asked him if he felt confident about our relationship. He said he didn't know as everything always turns out badly for him and he expects the worse. I said what do you mean the worse, like I would break up with you or something and he said, I dunno I guess. It has been 3 days since I have heard from him nor have I tried to contact him. He has no idea how hurt I am over this as last talk it was temporarily smoothed over but the anger, hurt, and resentment has just built up in me over the past few days since this went down. I feel it would be like telling him yeah you can come to my country and visit and do everything I want to do but you have to stay in a hotel. How insulting! So what I am asking is how do I convey how hurt I am about this? My plans are still going on like usual but some part of me doesn't even want to move there anymore.
  10. I guess I don't understand what the problem is? You get to see him almost every weekend? How often do you want to see him? I have to go 3-6 months at a time without seeing my bf.
  11. Well I have thought about things a bit more. I have backed off and have been keeping myself busy with other things and he is making more effort. I told him that I really wanted to talk to him about things before I bought any tickets back or did anything. Well I got busy with work and he smses me 5 times but it was the wrong time to reply(in the shower, driving to work, in a meeting) Finally he asks me if I was getting the messages. I said I was getting them fine and that I was just busy. He writes back ok he was worried the sms was messing up like it was before. Then he says have fun being busy. I think he was a little mad but oh well, I have put up with him disappearing for days to play video games or whatever. So I never did discuss us either. So I am making myself less available. There really are some things I have been wanting to do for myself and I haven't because of all the saving I have been doing for the move so yesterday I decided I was going to postpone going back in February and do those things. I haven't told him this and I don't plan to. I'll just wait until he asks me about it. I figure if he wants me there, he'll make more of an effort.
  12. I knew nothing about his country before I met him. I do really love it there.
  13. I was supposed to move there in February.
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