astromantic

loverallalone - your rant pretty much exemplifies my own frustrations with the world. The difference would be I'm a year older than you and that I've grown a bit numb over the last year about relationships but it hasn't completely bothered me. I've never found anyone, the few men that I had feelings for could never return them to me but I'm less than two months from finishing my undergrad and my convocation is in the horizon and all I can think about now is how I will live out the rest of my 20s. Right now my concern is to find who I am in society, where will my role, as a responsible and intelligent adult be? My efforts to change and develop myself in University is much like yours - I went out of town for a change of setting, got involved in University, from student councils to resurrecting my school's student business publication; met tons of people, some of them have become my closest friends. I had my eyes opened and learned to be open-minded, accepting. There's so much more to look forward to. I'm in the midst of job hunting and again my eyes are open to how tough it can be, how much competition there is, how others are deciding to continue with school, some to travel the world, others to find a job and complete the rat race. I do not think I have nothing but I don't have it "all". I don't know if I ever will, maybe just not all at the same time? DO NOT say you have nothing at 21.

Four years ago I was given roses and a confession on Valentine's Day twice by the same guy. Once through a delivery and the second time in person in a room full of people that knew both of us hence I was very uncomfortable. For the last three years I was stuck either in class, studying for a midterm or had some project to work on. Last year's was the busiest as I was in meetings from morning to night for school. This year... I actually have no classes.. just some studying to do ... again.

I'm 22 and other than one exception, I have rarely felt interest in anyone and have never noticed anyone holding any interest in me. I do admit, as I do play gatekeeper a lot, I haven't really let anyone in. Peer pressure has a funny way of making you feel insecure doesn't it? When I was 20 I started to wonder a bit too about how odd I was relative to all my other friends. But it's not something I'm looking for. You admitted that you don't really look for it either so, just go with the flow and enjoy life as it is. It sure beats worrying all the time... But to answer your original question: I think its possible for someone to never feel romantic love. It's not for everyone... upbringing and surrounding environment affects the way people perceive love. I'm a practical person as I've been raised with such an outlook on life. I do not believe in love at first sight and while its nice to dream of the romantic plotlines in movies and books, I think its complete bull for it to happen in real life.

shep, why won't u see a doctor on campus? isn't it usually covered in your fees? most universities have insurance in teh tuition for their students. I've been battling acne since I was 10. My face definitely exploded when I was around 12. It was awful as I was going through puberty and my face looked like a volcano and on top of that I'm a girl and when adults saw my skin they just had this "poor her" look written on their face. I know what the type of severe acne u're talking about, I still get them occasionally now but they're not all bunch together. I have medicine prescribed from my doctor and that stuff usually works for me. Plus washing ur face twice a day is a good habit to get into but do it gently, make sure ur hands are clean and I sometimes use cotton balls to message the cleanser in.

I'm still waiting (also a senior in university). I understand what you mean about being invisible... but Alabama has a point; I'd rather wait than carelessly throw those experiences away just for the sake of saying "I've tried it"

i watched it on dvd.. while I figure the language could be a bit cleaner but I guess amongst guys they talk like that.. it was a good movie. It did point out what is wrong with the accepted mainstream ideal and poked fun at it in a good way. There were a few moments I cringed but overall I was laughing with the movie.

would I date myself? hmm... I might casually date me.. but will find it too difficult to go on any further because I seem to have a real complex about the opposite sex (I admit it). It's very hard to crack open my ice wall and gain my trust and it's just not worth all that trouble. I seem to have trust issues.. and who wants to seriously date someone who is constantly suspicious of your intentions?

smiles21, I know exactly what you are talking about - most people I know are either in a long term relationship, engaged, or married. I think people around our age starts to settle into serious relationships and it's often rare that you find someone single. I have a friend that actually lamented to me (this was last year when I was 21) about how short her previous relationship was and how we were starting to get too old ... (at this point I started to frown at her comment) and then proceeded to exclaim how all the good partners are taken and if we don't hurry up and find one we won't ever find a long term partner. It's attitudes like this - that really ticks me off. I've been single all 22 years of my life. It never occurred to me that I should get myself into a relationship at this age and chose to focus on my studies and start my career. In an indirect way she was basically saying if I don't find myself a boyfriend now I'm going to be left with all the bad men .. pfft. whatever. (and yes she found herself a boyfriend within six months and have him hooked, lined and sinker for over a year now)

that's like: 1) looking up at the delicious fruits hanging on the tree that you've never tasted and is out of reach vs 2) having tasted the fruit but the rest will no longer fall to the ground within your reach I'm not going to try to claim I am wiser or have the key to your question since the on/off button doesn't work for you. For what it's worth, every little thing you do will present people an opinion of you; it can be the tone of your voice, your attitude, subtle gestures - heck I've been told even the surrounding aura gives a clue to your current state of mind. Perhaps you should reassess how you conduct yourself when you interact with potential partners? btw you are still quite young, we're not that many years apart... you really shouldn't be worrying about turning 30 right now...

I think that's the better way to put it than saying "screw it". I used to think like that after I crashed and burned at a horrible attempt of starting a relationship that I already knew was never going to happen. I had that bitter after taste of rejection and was in that mindset. However as time went on, it faded into the background and I ended up focusing on myself and my own development. I really think the advice about learning to make yourself content is true. If others see you being comfortable in your own skin and enjoying life then they'll want a part in your life too. So, yes I've had that experience but in actual fact it's simmering quietly on the back burner.

Your situation reminds me a little of myself when I was in my first year at university. I was 19, about to turn 20, had gone off to school in another town and you'd think you'd meet more people, being on campus and living away from parents.. ha! Never happened, lol. But now that I look back, it's not that big of a deal. I'm currently 22, haven't had a boyfriend and haven't seriously dated anyone either.. the times I do go out with guys are mostly casual outings, because like you, I am a one man woman. I cannot fall for several people at a time, nor do I fall easily. The last time a man made my heart move was when I was 18! I questioned myself for a bit when I was 20 too (am I a lesbian? I used to ask..) but nah, I enjoy men and the company they bring. I made it past 20, single, alive and sane Keep your head up! We're still very young and there's still many years ahead of us! Like one of the members here said (can't remember who), learn to differentiate feeling lonely and being alone - those are two separate things. Take life at your own pace

a few weeks ago my friend and I just finished a pretty brutal exam for biz policy. So we were heading back to her place to relax a bit and hang out. She lives really close to University Stadium and there was a football game. There was this group of caucasian guys walking by heading for the game. They saw us and started screaming "I LIKE ASIAN GIRLS! COM'ON TURN AROUND! TALK TO US!" ... I had a feeling if they weren't drunk, at least a little loosen up but I definitely agree with lusitana.. cat-calls, hollering of any sort at people is just plain rude.

I think I'm on the same wavelength as you. I've never been involved in anyone however when I was younger, I would, at the very least, manage to find someone who is intriguing, someone who would capture my attention (not just physical attraction - these are guys that I knew well and spoke to frequently) and after the last "crush" (and I did confess to him but it wasn't the right time for either of us, I just did it to move on) I feel like I've lost interest in the human race. I have guy friends, I do my best to be friendly, go out, meet people and have fun. However, sadly, no one attracts me (and I probably fail to attract anyone either) but I had hoped to find someone in University, even if it's just for fun. University is almost over and there was no one. Lots of friendships and fun but nothing on a more intimate level. However, I also realize.. perhaps, unconsciously... deep inside you just aren't ready. I know for me.. the last crush made me a lot more cautious of who I fall for and I just don't know if I want to go through all that drama and emotional toil again.

I have had my resume critiqued by my school's career services and the next big job fair will be in second semester. I gather it would be a good time to start cracking on informational interviews. Thanks for all of your tips.

I've been single all 22 years of my short life .. while I normally don't have much of a problem with being single.. external pressure is starting to build around me (peers, relatives etc). I guess the hardest part for me is wondering when I'll find someone since the future is still so hazy and unknown....