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Survictor

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  1. It sounds to me as if your relationship has never been particularly healthy I am sorry to say. It sounds as if this man will always fail to commit to you and you have lots of love, friendship, loyalty to give to someone who will also reciprocate and offer you committment but you have to find the right person first. I agree with vetgirl that you need to alter your mindset. You are feeling very negative right now when you should see this as a new opportunity. It is hard to move on when you are scared of the unknown but that is what you must do now. When he bought a new puppy, it was a signal to you that what you shared is now in the past. It is time to journey on a new path. Make it a good one.
  2. Brekattiff, please do not let your family hold you back from joining your boyfriend and continuing your life together. Your family are, I think, being a bit selfish in wanting you to remain with them. A couple of years ago, I went with my husband to Australia for 6 months and my family made me feel so guilty for going, which really wasn't fair. They said things like I was ruining my children's studies and disrupting their stability, that elderly relatives might die whilst I was gone, etc. It was difficult to go against them but I also didn't want to let opportunities pass me by and perhaps regret missed opportunities later. I am so glad we went. My children benefited greatly from living in another country and Australians have a very positive outlook on life which was catching (we can be so gloomy in UK). The kids learned to skateboard, tried surfing, windsurfing and we visited lots of different places. My son did not want to go at all and moaned constantly at the time but now he says that he is very glad he went; that it changed him for the better and gave him more confidence and my daughter is keen for my husband to work abroad again so that we can live in another country. For my own part, looking back at all the wonderful photographs and videos, remembering treasured moments spent with my children and husband, I could never regret going against my family and I absolutely do feel that the only reasons they wanted me to stay here were selfish ones. And of course, they got over it and I am back now but sometimes....it would be nice to do it again. Don't miss the opportunity.
  3. I absolutely agree with Volition on this. For the time being, you are going to have to "Fake it until you make it." Fake being happy and well. Go out and do things every day even when you really don't feel like it and soon, my friend, the pain will diminish and someone new will come along when the time if right and you are receptive and this person may have more love and devotion for you than you previous g/f. Start your new life today. Make it a good one.
  4. I would turn my back and let them see my butt. It's a good butt!
  5. Turn up at his door, have your special song on CD. You would be dressed in a coat, furry boots and a Santa hat and raise hand written signs Like: Please don't say anything...... I just wanted to tell you I love you..... Very, very much...... And....... Wanted to ask you...... If you would be...... my husband?...... I love you xxxx And then undo your coat, where you are tied around the middle with a bow .... his gift with a smile from you. How could he resist? Saw something like this in "Love Actually"... I think that was what it was called
  6. Most self respecting woman would not do that! To find someone and leave with them pretty much ensures a one night stand and many women and men find that a very shallow experience. If that is all someone wants, a shag for the night then truthfully, it is harder for people because there are lots of men who would go for that and few women. IMO of course.
  7. If I had my time again: I would have studied what I really wanted to as opposed to something I ought to.... I would have been more self confident about myself and my body (at 20, most people look great to anyone over 30) I would have been more self reliant and not married so young or that person I would have traveled I should have taken that job abroad I should have listened to my Mum's sound advice I should have concentrated on treating my family better than I treated my friends I should have spent more time with my family rather than my friends because today I have none of those friends and I still have my family (those that remain that is as some have since passed on) I would have left my hair it's natural dark colour, rather than having it blonde to be attractive to sad losers. I would not have tried so hard to look like a person in a magazine I would have persued my own interests and invested my time more in charitable organisations to do with famine, children and animals. I have changed considerably for the better since my 20's.
  8. I really agree that perhaps it is time he stood on his own for a while in order that he might appreciate those that love and care for him far more than he is doing so at the moment. My son is also very demanding and manipulative and abusive. He is also a bully to me. He is bigger than me and uses his masculinity and height to intimidate me, but today I stood my ground. He wanted money...again and I refused despite his torrent of abuse. So he went out. Let them find out the hard way. Don't give in and eventually they will exhaust everyone else's goodwill too and then they will start to take some responsibility for their own life, their own actions and their future.
  9. This is simply untrue!!! There are ugly women, just as there are ugly men. And many women would say the same about men too. I have left relationships in the past and I would say that on the whole, I have indeed separated myself from the relationship, or I have felt they have separated from it before I actually left it and moved on. I don't find it easy if I know that the other person will have a hard time dealing with my decision to go or leave, but no person is going to stay with someone if they feel it is wrong for them. I am not going to stick with someone who I feel is not compatible with me, who I am no longer attracted to, who treats me badly etc even if that person tells me that will kill themselves. I don't do emotional blackmail and find this an even bigger reason to leave them behind. Truthfully, there are so many reasons why someone would leave someone else and I have left people in the past because: 1. He was seeing someone behind my back 2. He was seeing someone behind my back, he was controlling and abusive 3. He was seeing someone behind my back, he was controlling and abusive 4. He wanted committment, I didn't and I thought it best to end the relationship sooner rather than later when we would perhaps not be able to part as friends. 5. I wasn't attracted to him other than physically. 6. It was a friendship with benefits and we mutually left one another behind and moved on. See what I mean? Does this answer your question?
  10. I can remember my 2 year old and the pediatrician saying he didn't talk very much, which amazed me because I could understand him perfectly, even if no-one else did. He is obviously thinking about what you say and is saying what he thinks even if it does sound like gibberish at the moment. If your child uses a pacifier, it might be an idea to remove it so he/she gets more practise talking. I hear that children with pacifiers may talk less because their facial muscles are less developed. I am not sure if that is true or not. Your pediatrician will check hearing to see if there is any problems there as children with hearing problems may not hear sounds as clearly and are thereforeeee not as easily able to replicate those sounds. Often, the hearing problem is caused by fluid behind the ear. Try not to worry, children develop differently but usually catch up and as your little one understands lots, can indicate what he wants, babbles away and does say some words, I wouldn't be overly concerned.
  11. I feel that you feel that you are a disappointment to your family and so punish yourself by not allowing yourself to connect with another human being. You feel that being gay is wrong and yet being with a woman holds no joy for you either. You want to be straight and have a "normal" relationship right? Any relationship you have is not going to be "normal" because you have so many issues relating to sex and relationships that you need to work through. Being used and using people for sexual gratification only can only lead to an empty existence, but you have no idea on how to go about any other relationship, which probably stems from being abused and trust issues. You need to find a good counsellor and you should only have friendships for the next year say. I would hope that a year down the line, you would be able to connect with people on an emotional level because without that, you will never form a close, loving attachment which is what you want. I think you have closed off part of your emotions so as not to get hurt. Sorry that you have been hurt so. Remember that not everyone is out to use you or hurt you. For me, this isn't about whether you are gay or straight. There are more important issues here.
  12. Alcohol will confuse you. You will not think clearly and you will act out of character and without thinking at all; not rationally at least. You will do things that the normal you (not drinking) would shun and it could get worse,=; much worse. Please do something about the alcohol problem now. Other things will fall into place later.
  13. Hey, I am sure you do feel bad right now, but it will pass and you will have learned lots from this time you had. Years from now you will wonder why you were this upset. Really. You will remember how you felt, but you will look back on you now and smile, knowing how it was and how it is.
  14. I agree Snowpeople. Morning sex is good. I probably have more morning sex. But evening sex is good too... more time.
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