4thelast1

Are you kidding he is one of them. They love him! He is Disney Land Dad and Im the enforcer/real parent, making sure the house is clean, dinner is made, rooms get cleaned, teeth/hair gets brushed and homework is done. He does do the laundry and dishes so I have to give credit where credit is due. But like I said he and the kids are like peas in a pod.

Actually I let him be wild and crazy during that weekend. I just never thought that he would turn on me. I was OK with being DD, I wanted him to have fun. He just took it a little to far for me. I have never been the victim of his behavior. He always was good to me. It took me a couple of days to get over it, but I did. I think (Im assuming,I dont know whats in his head) that since he got away with it once that I would always be there. To leave me stranded in the middle of Vegas with nothing and then forgive might have shown him that he no longer needs to try and he could get away with just about anything. I dont know.

Here the deal. We dated 2 yrs. Then got married. He never acted like that, how can one person be one way for a couple of years and then change. I dont know what triggered it. I think I have allowed his obnoxioius behavior towards others and never made an issue of it. Now that he has turned it on me I am shocked and ashamed. We have been married 11 months, not even 1 year yet! It has put me in some deep depression b/c the man that I married is in there and I lost him some where along the way. Now I feel indifferent towards him. I am very sad about the whole thing. I am leaning towards leaving. I have to do it when the time and money is right, I do have children of my own and I need to think of thier well being as well. Thank you for the advice.

I know that I have posted on here how DH has been good to me but, I must confess that I was stretching the truth a little bit. Heres grits of it all: It all started on 12/29/2006 We had tickets to Vegas to party out there for the new year. My brother also was going with us. DH promised me that he would be on his best behavior b/c he has a habit of getting obnoxious. Since the weather was bad we rented a car and drove through the the 12 hr drive. My DH and brother partied in the back of the luxurey rental car. I was DD. I didnt mind. We made it into Vegas around midnight. The 2 boys wanted to party some more but I was road worn and stayed in. DH came in drunk around 5am. He wanted some action. I was tired, to tired to just say no so I gave in. We went into CA to see my hometown. I drove there and back b/c the boys were partying in the car. DH was so obnoxious to me and my brother. I had to basically tell him off like a child to quiet down. Nothing would shut him up, he just kept on like none of us mattered and he was going "balls to the walls" in partying. We got back to Vegas arounds midnight and the boys wanted to party. Again I was DD so I was tired and stayed in. New Years eve I was ready to have some fun but had some reservations about it due to DH's behavior on the proir days. We went to this club in Ceasar's Palace. DH was being a jerk. I told him that I was going to use the ladies room and would be back. I set my jacket and wallet down right next to me and before I finished drying my hands my wallet,ID, check card and money was stolen!! I ran back to the club and was not allowed in due to no ID. I asked the security to go get DH and I told him what happened. We cancelled the check card immediately and let the cash go. DH had an expired ID of mine in his wallet. During this time DH was being a total jerk to me. I did not want to go back into the club so I asked DH to get my brother and lets get some alcohol and walk the strip until midnight, it was 10pm by then. I told DH I would go back into the bathroom and ask the bathroom attendance if they found my wallet and I would wait outside the club for them. DH went back in. NOW REMEMBER he had the expired ID of me in his wallet. I waited til 1130pm. He never came back out. At 1130 I went to the cab line and the only thing on me was my room key and $10. I got a cab and was in my room by 1145. DH called me around 3am and told me how much fun he was having, I hung up on him. At 6am DH came rolling in and started yelling at me that I took off on him and that I probabley left with some guy. Needless to say I called my brother and chewed him out, he told me that DH said that I didnt want to party so I was back at the room and not to worry. He said he was sorry had he known he would've ditched DH and came and got me. So I drove us back home. On 1/8/2007 I had a surgery. During this time DH had to take some work off and take care of me, his dad (alzheimers) the kids and the house (welcome to my world). He was so mean to me. He was short tempered and would ignore me. I was literally helpless. I needed help to do anything. Yes he would help me but he did it the worst attitude. He made fun of me. During this time it was both SD's b-days(2 days apart) he would drag me out of bed to participate for their Bdays. This happened 3 days after my abdominal surgery. NOt very fun!! About 1week ago was the first time I got out of the house and was in public. We hooked up with my brother for a couple of cocktails. around 11pm I was worn out and went home DH decided to go back out and party some more. I got a call from my brother and he told me that DH had taken some of my prescribed narcotics( i'm talking like morphine based drugs) and was partying with them and so he kicked him out of his house at 3am. Again Dh came home yelling at me. DH is a button pusher. He is an extreme kind of guy. It has never bothered me until he stole from me , verbally abused me and just all around been a jerk to me. Most people we meet will only hang with us once b/c DH extreme behavior. I had hid $300 for me, I used $100 to open my own checking account. The other $200 I bought 2 pairs of fab. shoes. Next week my DR. is going to clear me for work. I have been on leave for about 8 weeks. I cant take his dad anymore, his children dont listen to me and his behavior is off the scale. As soon as I am medically cleared I have a major decision to make. I have to say DH has NEVER been this way before. This was not the man I married. I am at a very difficult cross road. I filed my taxes and I am going to receive about $6000 back, I had them direct deposit it into my new account. So the money is there if I leave. I dont know what to do any more. I dont even see him in the same way I did b/f we went to Vegas. Something inside me changed towards him. Right now I have no feelings towards him except frustration. Its almost like I dont want to be around him. Do I need time to recover from all the hurt or should I just get out b/c this might be a BIG idicator of coming behavior on his part?? I need some good loving advice. Please help me here.

Myself,my husband and my brother went to Vegas for New Years. It was supposed to be fun. We were supposed to take a plane but due to bad weather the airport closed or cancelled most of the flights leaving our state. So we rented a car. I drove, my bro and my hubby sat in the back of the luxury rental and drank. It was a 12hr drive which I did sober. I was ok with this. We get into Vegas around 130am Sat. They want to go out to the casinos and party some more. I was ok with this, I was tired and stayed in the hotel room and got some sleep. Sat afternoon we decided to go into CA to see my hometown. Again I drove and the "boys" partied in the backseat. We returned to Vegas around midnight,we changed our clothes and hit the strip,had a good time, my hubby got a little out of control, but I dealt with it, we were in Vegas. New Years Eve we decide to get out early, but before we leave the hotel room, the "boys" dabble into some illegal stuff. We go to a bar in Ceasar's. My hubby was completely out of control. He was so bad that I asked him to step out of the bar and talk to me in private. He began to yell at me in the middle of the casino. I told him to calm down and to just let it go. I told him that its 10pm lets get some booze and hit the strip and find a good spot for the fireworks. I asked him to go back into the bar and get my brother. He went back in. He had my ID,all the money(except for $10 in my pocket),he never came back out. I waited about 20 minutes stood back in line to find out that I couldnt get back in w/o my Id. I waited til 1130 and still no show. I called his cell, no answer. All I had on me was $10 and my hotel key. I waited 1.5 hrs and he still didnt come out. I got a taxi and headed back to the hotel room. I missed the entire celebration. He rolled in about 6am. He yelled at me and wanted to know why I left him. I told him what happened and he said I was lying. He accused me of leaving with some guy. He blamed everything on me. I tried to tell him that I waited for him but he didnt want to hear anything from me. I finally told my brother what happened and he was pissed at my husband. My brother told me that he was told that I went back to the hotel room and to pary with out me!! I am soo pissed. Part of me wants to leave him. This isnt the first time his "partying" has interfered with our marriage. He has done this on a few other occasions. Other than this he is a good man. I dont know what todo.

How will you know if you have hit the right spot? Does the orgasm feel different from a clitoral orgasm?

I hate this woman with a passion. Hate is a very strong word. I will give you the basic info: About 3yrs ago I met my Hubby. He was married but separated going and just started the divorce proceedings. He told me his soon to be ex was crazy. I just took that as some one who is going through a bitter divorce. He said that he had 2 sm daughters w/her. This woman called my work, called my home threatend me,called me everyname in the book and withheld his daughters b/c of me. The Divorce lasted almost 18months b/c of her delays. She received alimony and childsupport. We provided documentation that HE was actually taking care of the children, but in my state you need to nearly kill your children before the courts favor the father. She received alot of money from my then B/F and now hubby. I stuck with him b/c he is a really good man but had alot of baggage. So for 6mnths we documented her lack of child custody time. WE refiled with the courts and it took another 10mths to finally see the judge. We won!!! We proved she wasnt being active in her parenting time and my man won full custody. The judge calculated and showed that we over paid in childsupport which equalled the amount of alimony. This was the one of the brightest moments of my life. Now that she doesnt receive anymore money she takes her girls 4x amonth. She still is very nasty to me. I have essentially taken on the full time mom role. These children were ferall. I mean really wild,screaming,hitting, biting,just all around children raised by wolves behavior. She has told her daughter that I dont like them, I like my kids better and that I dont want them around. This makes me so mad. I know that she is an alcoholic. She has called child social svc on me, and tried to make claims of abuse. This didnt work b/c her oldest child is special needs and I work the school social worker. Her youngest is very bright, and manipulates her mom and then I receive the nasty calls, the threatening to kill me. I have even gone to court for her harassing phone calls. She was found guilty for harassment. No matter what I do this woman goes out of her way to try to make me miserable. I move and she shows up at our door asking for the girls, I change my # and she calls my now hubby and yells at him. She tells the girls that she doesnt have any money b/c I took it all and "daddy" wants them to starve!!!! I hate her! I hate her soo much that sometimes I fantisize about her death. My hatred is so much that I now find that I have to separate the girls from her so I dont come accross as hating them. They are little girls and are torn with thier moms games. I love them and want whats best. I just cant get over my hatred. It has come to the point if I see her at a bar I have to turn around and leave b/c I know that I would go up to her and put my hands on her. I find that I wish death on her. This is not good for me. I need to find a way to deal with this anger and hatred. Any good advice??

How bad do you want this marriage? How much does he want it? You cant keep crying and dwelling on this. You need to do something about it. You are tearing yourself up over and over. I am sorry he is acting like a complete jerk. If your friend is behaving the way you say, then she was never a real friend. You nailed in, she broke the golden rule. What do you want to do, do you want to continue to live in misery or do you want to fix this situation?

I agree with Annie24. How dare your mother tell you things like that!!! Its bad enough that we deal with perfection on tv and celebrities. You need to embrace your curves and looks. You have one body for the rest of your life. If you feel that you are over-wieght then go to the gym and kick your own *ss!!! Like the others said get a Dr's opinion and then go from there. I grew up with parents that never told me I was pretty or smart. I felt through out my life that I was mediocre. It wasnt until I realized that I am the only one who can truly love myself that I started to look at myself and other women and see us for the real beauties we are. Dont look to the Asians for your reference. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that your beautiful, even if you dont feel that way. One day you will start to believe what your telling yourself. We all feel this way about ourselves at one time or another. Even the most gorgeous women feel ugly at times. You are beautiful and I dont even have to see you to know that!!!

The last thread I put in here was about my low libido and boy did I get an earfull of backlashing. So befor I put down my issue I will give a some additional supporting info: I have 2 children from my first marriage, one is 14yrs old and my youngest is 8yrs old. I am now remarried (6yrs of singleness)and have added 2 stepchildren and 1 very angry Biomom of new husbands last marriage. I also have added 1 ailing father in law with aggressive alzhiemers. I have an amicable relationship with my exhusband, we do disagree about teendaughters behavior(very normal). I split custody with my children. I take care of stepkids due to Biomoms lack of responsibility. She never comes around and takes care of her kids. She hates me and has threatend to kill me. I also have a job and I am the main housecleaner. So in a nut shell I have 1teenager,1 alzhiemers patient(I take care of)3 kids between the ages 5-8yrs old, I hold a job, I am a wife and a housekeeper. I have 1 exhusband and 1 very unreliable lady who is in my life due to my stepkids and husband. I share custody with my ex, we spit everything evenly or what ever our kids want. We have never made them feel guilty for choosing which house they want to spend the night in, and we live 10 min. apart. Well this last weekend my kids were to be at thier dads house. I got a call from my ex stating that our teen daughter has ran away. He said that he found condoms in her dresser drawers and knows she has a boyfriend. I was really upset about this because all along my daughter has been telling me she hates it at her dads and all he does is critisize her. I told my ex that he needs to call around and I will also do the same. He told me "Yeah right, who the hell is she to run away, she left so she better not think she can come back!" This upset me, my daughter is basically a good kid and is having a hard time with her dad, and I can now see why. I told him that he is treating her like a throw away kid and that is not good. I said if he doesnt wat to look for her then I will do all the work. Well I called around and none of her friends wanted to tell me where she was. I got one phone call from her bestfriend and she is the only one who was willing to give me any info. I found out that she was at this boys house in Colo Springs. CO. That is about 1 hour from where I live. I drove down there and picked her up. I also spoke to the boys mom and asked if she was monitering thier actions. She said yes. All I can do is go by her word. So I bring my daughter home and have a heart to heart talk with her and told her she was grounded for 1 week, I told my ex and he exploded , he said that 1 week was not enough, she should be grounded for 3 months atleast. I said no, to ground her that long would just force her hand and she needed to see a light at the end of the tunnel. My ex told me he needed some space from her and if she could stay with me for a while. I agreed and put a condition of WE all go to therapy and figure how to get on the same page. I thought is was a good plan. Well my husband takes my daughter to her dads house to get her clothes for school, and there in the front porch is all of her belongings in a trash bag. He had stripped her room and put it in trash bags, essentially kicking her out, not giving her space. I know this had to hurt my daughter. I am sooooooo angry at my ex for his callouse behavior. I called my ex up and asked if he needed space then why would he throw all of her stuff out and strip her room of her essense?????? I now have my daughter and all of her belongings, I am seeking some therapy for her so she can deal with lifes issues. I have talked to her about sex and she has promised me that she is not having sex and will not have sex before she talks to me. She said yes,that we can see the school counselor to get her on the right academic track. I told her that we didnt need to inform the school about our home life, she can just release all of her problems to a child therapist. I love her and have tried to explain to her that she is heading down a hard path and that she has the opportunity to change her outcome. My exhusband thinks that I am letting her get away with everything. He is saying that I am treating him like the bad guy, and that I am coming out as the hero. I just want to get her on the right track.

WAYNE You are rude. Never in my thread did I speak so disgustingly. Dont respond to me if you cant be decent. I am not here for you to attack me.Your anger towards me sounds as if you need a little cooling down.

Robowarrior, you are so way off in your advice. My work as you put it is not at the root of this issue. I know that I lashed out at my husband for not lasting longer and I did apologize for my rude behavior. With the stress in our life it is hard for me to get my mind in for sex. That is what the root of this problem is. Blender thank you for the advice, yes you are right my hurtful words were wrong. I did say sorry to my husband and told him that we will try again tonight and there will be expectations other than making each other happy. Bethany it is hard to find a way to unwind when I have alot at home. To take a hot bath and relax is a dream for me at this moment. My father has alzhiemers and it is hard leave him alone for periods of time, he gets into things and tends to wander off. Before my father moved in our sex life was excellent. Im just trying to adjust to my new circumstances in life and it has effected me.

Lately I havent been in the mood to have sex. I have been under alot of stress and have had some bad anxiety attacks. Even though I havent been in the mood I still "put out" to my husband. I dont reach an orgasm but then again my mind is on other things and not in the moment. Well last night my mind was in the moment and I was in the mood. It has been a month or so since I felt sexy. So we were fooling around and he wanted to go down on me. I was fine with that!! I made him stop because I am not a multiple orgasm girl and didnt want to orgasm that way. I wanted him to make love to me and bring to a climax that way. It was not 2 minutes into it and he had an orgasm. I was pissed. I felt that he wasnt thinking of me and just got so excited that he let it go! I did tell him that I was disappointed that the first time in months that I am actually into it he lets it go right away. He got upset with me and told me that he just couldnt stop himself and I shouldnt be mad. I told him that he is 38yrs old and not a teenboy,he should have learned to control himself by now. I have been under alot of stress, I love my husband and even though I have not been in the right mind set I still like it when we do have sex. He has gotten into this place where its all about him and he doesnt have to worry about my pleasure. This is how I felt last night. Maybe next time I should just let him finish me off orally. I dont know, I like it better when we are face to face and kissing, it means so much more to me. Dont get me wrong, I love it when he does go down on me, but I would rather finish it off wrapped in each others arms. I dont want him angry at me for being disappointed last night, I want him to understand my feelings.

Thanks for all the input. I am very concerned about her having sex. Someguy69 is correct about the age of consent. But this is not my issue, as far as Im concerned she is too young to consent to sex at all!!! I am realistic about this whole situation. I know that if she has already had sex then it is almost next to impossible to stop her from having it again. I will not lock her in her room. Her father and I did sit down last night and discuss the whole sex,std's and pregnancy issues. We tried to explain that a wrong decision could last her a life time. She was more upset about her dad going through her room. I dont blame her for that,but with her I had to show a united front with her dad and I. She said that she hasnt had sex and they were there becuase she thought about it but has made no move to do anything about it. IF she told us the truth then I have to take her word, if she lied then she has to live with herself. I also explained that her dad going through her room is upsetting but she is not an adult and not privilidged to the same rights. She is a minor and it is our job as parents to keep an eye on her and do whats best for her. She got upset and cried and told us we were not fair. After she left I explained to my exhusband that it was unfair to go through her stuff with out having her witness it. I am not opposed to going through her stuff but she needs to be there when we do it. We both love our daughter and know that this is a rough time in her life. We both agree that we dont want her going off in the deep end. We committed our lives to her the day she was born and we will continue until the day she dies. To what level we go to that depends on her behavior now.

I just got a call from my exhusband. He said that he went home to look for his missing digital camara. He said that he went into our 14yr old daughters room and looked in her dresser drawers because he thought she might have it. Well he found was some condoms!! He called me with this bit of info. I told him that I would speak to her and see what is going on. He got upset that I wasnt flying off the handle the way he was. He said that since I didnt care that he doesnt care. I told him that I do care its just what am I supposed to do about it. His answere was to make her come straight home from school and stay inside the house . I told him that was unreasonable. She is a teenager and I couldnt just keep her locked in the house. I dont want her rebelling because I'm afraid of her having sex. If she is then she is, there is almost nothing I can do to make her stop. At this point all I can do is talk about safe sex and see about birth control. I cant stop her from having sex. Would I like her having sex? NO NO NO! My exhusband didnt like my response. He started yelling at me saying that I didnt care and that I dont seem very upset about it. I told him just because I am not jumping up and down screaming doesnt mean I dont care. What am I supposed to do??? I feel that no matter how mad I get it isnt going to stop my daughter from having sex. I hung up telling my exhusband that he needed to get a grip and face reality. If anyone knows a good approach to this sticky situation I would gladly take all advice. Plus my ex deserved what he got, he shouldnt have been snooping in her stuff. He knew that he might find stuff he woudnt be happy with, he just cant control his controlling behavior!!