I am desperate for an outside, unbiased opinion.
I must warn you that it's a pretty lengthy story.
This issue dates back to June. And some of you will probably wonder why I've maintained it for so long.
I met a guy (we'll call him Bill) at the Jersey shore and really hit it off with him. Over the past few months, we have been dating on a very sporadic basis (about once every 2 weeks) but talking regularly, almost every night. We've both chalked it up to being busy, he with work and sports and I with work and school.
We had never discussed any type of real commitment, and I assumed he was dating other people as well. BUT I was (and am still) very comfortable with how casual things have been since I had gotten out of a 2-year relationship 2 short weeks before I met Bill.
Two weeks ago, Bill and I went out and, as usual, had a great time. We went back to his apartment that night and were kissing and he blurted out "I love you." Now, this was a little bit of a shock to me. It wasn't unusual for him to make "I miss you" comments or tell me I'm an "amazing woman" here and there, but this was heavy. My first thought was that he'd been drinking and probably now was biting his tongue, so I just kept kissing him and never replied. The night still went out without any awkwardness, and I left him feeling butterflies as always.
Fast-forward to this past weekend. He had surgery on his ankle last Tuesday and is off his feet for a couple weeks. He asked me to come see him this past Saturday, but it did not happen b/c of a miscommunication (not important part of the story).
Anyway, I talked to him on Sunday and this is where the disappointment begins. We somehow got on the topic of me being so young (21) and already working as a nurse. And it snowballed into him saying the following things:
- "I feel like you got shortchanged because you've done so much with your career so early on and didnt get the chance to go out and go crazy"
- "I think this is why I am so afraid to move forward with us"
- "I REALLY like you, and I haven't been in this situation for a long time, if ever and I'm nervous"
- "I feel like maybe you'll get into this deeper with me and wake up one day realizing you're a completely different woman and this is not what you want"
- "I know you probably think we should have established something by now, and I dont want to hurt you. I just think maybe we should keep things where they are"
... That's pretty much the jist of his end. Of course, I responded to these things. Ultimately, I said I was fine with keeping things how they are. But this is the crazy part: I have NEVER pushed him for a commitment, so I wasn't sure why he came out with all that.
Also, I gave him a couple opportunities to cut things off by saying "You're allowed to tell me you don't want to date anymore" and "I'd rather just know now if your intentions are to cut things off".. But he kept saying that's not what it is at all.
I really like him and in no way want him out of my life.
So I considered the following 2 things:
1) He is being a coward and is really just not that into me
2) He's petrified of commitment but actually does like me
This is my PLEA for advice or feedback or insight. Whatever you will offer!