BalletGirl81

helpme2 - I have very much the same problem you do. Almost always, the week before "AF" is due, I turn into crazy, insecure psycho woman! I start thinking I have the worst life in the world, and that my BF is going to leave me or is cheating on me. I know part of the problem is that I do just normally have some insecurities about his online "friendships" and flirting that goes on and his use of adult material. I feel 100% confident that he has never cheated on me, but, I know he looks at porn almost every day... but, it doesn't affect our sex life. So, I'm working on just accepting... because, who am I to say if any of those things are "right" or "wrong". It's all in your perception. But, sometimes it's hard, and it's especially hard during "that week" when my hormones are going crazy. Ugh.... Let me know if you find a magic cure... or, even a website or a piece of advise that has helped you. I definitely feel your pain.

Did you confront him with this issue, and actually get the real story for the "horse's mouth"? Are you sure his best friend wasn't just feeding you a line? Maybe he had alterior motives. Why would he say something like this to his best friends girlfriend if he's a "good guy". I would suggest confronting your boyfriend before making any judgements. I question the "good guy" comment about the best friend too. People's friends are usually somewhat of a reflection of themselves. Best of luck!

If you truly care about this person, you need to work on not judging them and accepting them for who they are NOW. If everyone was held accountable for everything that they've done in the past, we'd all be cast from society I'm sure. How old are you? You sound kind of young - I don't mean that in a bad way. But, if you are relatively young, under 21, I wouldn't hold so much against your girlfriend because she is in the process of learning who she is and finding out what type of guys she likes. Obviously nobody agrees that cheating is a good thing, but, considering those relationships were only a few weeks long, I don't think they could actually be considered exclusive relationships. It sounds more dating. But, if you truly cannot get past her past, then move on. Relationships must be built on trust, and if you don't trust her from the get-go, you won't get very far. Try to look inward and see if you may have some insecurity issues to work on. Many relationship problems can be solved by simply adjusting your perceptions/attitude. Of course, there are some cases where things just won't work out. I wish you the best!!

I think maybe what you need to do is identify a couple goals, and start taking steps toward them. Have you asked your mom and Grandma to support you in any of your endeavors? I don't think you necessarily need to leave your house, because it is not your family who is holding you back. Only YOU can hold you back. You need to realize that you are in complete control of your life. YOU always have the power to make choices, and it is those choices that create your life as it is. You can choose to not be affected by any negativity your family might be aiming toward you. This sounds difficult I'm sure, but it can be done. They key here is that you need to take full responsability for your life. I'm 24 and, please believe me when I say I've gone through this. I was married at 22 and am now divorced, and I've been on a long and hard path to finally taking ownership for my life and my decisions. I think you also need to start positively affirming your intelligence, skills, ability to succeed, etc. Literally, sit down and write out such things as "I am smart" "I can obtain any job I want" 'I am awesome". Positively affirming yourself is SO important!!!! Especially when you're around people that are negative. You must remember that YOU are awesome! YOU have the power to create your life however you want it!!!! I'm sure this sounse a little cliche, but it's soooooooooooooo true!!! With regards to the 18 jobs that you've applied for, consider these thoughts: - Did a part of you not want those particular jobs? - Did you ever have thoughts like "I'll never get this"? - Did you really take the proper amount of time and care filling out the apps? If you answered No to any of those questions, try changing your thoughts a little bit the next time you fill out a couple applications. Make sure you feel that you REALLY want that job, and that you REALLY want to succeed, tell yourself "I will have a job that I enjoy!". And of course, take a lot of time to fill out the apps carefully and completely so there are no errors nor blanks!! Good luck!!

Wow - Thanks everyone for your great responses. I can see the points made about basically not making a mountain out of a mole hill. I think I might just get the books that interest me most, and read them myself, and keep them on the shelf incase he's ever interested - or maybe even bring up some good points in conversations. At the very least, I might learn a little something more than can help me, since I'm the one with the minor complex here. Thanks

My BF and I have been together for almost 11 months, and have lived together for 9 months. This is his first time living with a significant other, and I've been divorced (marriage lasted 1 year, was married for all the wrong reasons). Anyway, needless to say, I'm a little concerned with having another failed marriage, being that the divorce rate for second marriages is even higher than first marriage. I know that he is also concerned about divorces because his parents went through a hideous divorce. We talk about getting married, having kids, house, dog, etc. I've even asked him if he'd be willing to go to pre-martial counseling, and he said "Of course!". But, why is that when I ask him to read some "pre-martial" relationship books with me, he's so reluctant? He basically says "Well, there's nothing wrong with our relationship right now, so why bother?" But, I think that a relationship can always be worked on, and I believe they constantly need to be worked on. Not to mention, everything is not ALWAYS roses. Yes, on a whole, I'm happy with our relationship, but things can be improved. How can I explain to him that this is important to me, in a way that he'll positively respond? Thanks