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YabbaDabba

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  1. As a college senior who's about to graduate, I feel your pain. I don't have nearly as much debt as you, but considering that I'm a friggin' English major (read: future poverty, lol), it's probably relative. What was/is your major? If you have a knack for teaching, you could try something like Teach for America. I'm not sure of the exact specifics, but I'm pretty sure that a two-year teaching stint in a low-income school will get some or all of your student loans forgiven. So, that's a possible option. In terms of your schooling, well, you live and you learn. BUT I have to disagree with your comments about college not being for the poor folks. I am one of those poor folks. My parents contributed exactly nothing financially to my college education and I'm about to graduate from a private university. A very expensive private university. My loans rack up to a depressing, but manageable, $14,000. And I haven't even mentioned graduate school (another $20-$30,000). Here's the thing: I know that if you could do it all over, you'd get a job during school--maybe go to a different school--and explore your financial aid options. But, you also have to ask yourself if you'd trade in the college experience for being debt-free. Would a lack of an education mean more to you than being stuck with loans? I'm just asking--it's a tough question, at least for me. Anyway, explore your options for graduate school. Does UCLA offer assistantships or fellowships? Or, maybe you should take a year or two off, try to get an entry-level job in your field, so you can pay down your loans. Then you can do graduate school--and cross your fingers that you end up somewhere with really good financial aid for graduate students. Keep in mind that having a master's degree will mean more earning potential in the long run.
  2. Haha, that last bit made me laugh out loud.
  3. Thanks, everyone. I'm actually a bit of a hopeless romantic, so this poem was inspired by the fact that many of my friends (and the world, in general) seem to jump from relationship to relationship without meaning. You know the type: the people who have to be with someone because being part of a "couple" in some way validates them. Yeah. I find that tragic, but as Elizabeth Bishop said, "it's just the common case."
  4. Let's begin this game on your terms. I'll be your painted doll, your distant saint, your crumpled flower, your ray of light. You can tell yourself the rules are fair. Because I give you meaning-- and you pretend to return the favor, imagining we share the same breaths. Let's hope that we can both survive on that. Giving myself to you this way isn't about self-sacrifice or the joining of two halves of a whole. It's just easier. Easier to mold myself within your every whim and be your dream, your hope, and fantasy of perfection and gentility. No one ever admits that living is a hard task of accepting our own mediocrity; coming to terms with commonality, yet deciding it's all worth it anyway. So yes, I'll be your painted doll, your distant saint, your crumpled flower, your ray of light. And you can pretend the rules are fair and that this is my self-sacrifice. Only we'll know, but never say, that we play along because this game of love gives life a shape beyond itself.
  5. I wrote this when I was in high school. I just read it earlier today, and all that teenage angst came flooding back, lol. Thought I'd post it here. I suppose, that night you cried, I died a little. Lived much more. Though, not because of your tissue-thin fragility-- more for the truths I found within myself. I saw you there, half-swallowed by uninterrupted moonlight. Made myself deaf to the sounds, the unsteady sounds, of your breathing. I was glad--a sickly sort of jubilance-- at the sight of your tears. For me it meant we were the same, you and I. No longer separated by the concrete fortress of luck, beauty, money. Or happiness. No, you came to me to find a light amidst your darkness... Came to someone as lost as you. The cynical smile settled over me like a shroud, even as my face remained unmoved. You reached in the stillness to find my hand. Squeezed. Breathed aloud. I didn't move. Just welcomed you, silently, to where I'd always been.
  6. I agree. You have to say something to him, rather than pretend that it never happened. If you do that, then he's just going to be confused and in limbo. Not fun. It'll probably be a little weird, yes, but just let him know that even though you're not attracted to him that way, you still want to remain good friends. After six years, he'll probably need a little time to come to terms with it, but at least he'll be able to move on.
  7. Wow, that's tough. A friend of mine, as well as my sister, were both molested by family members (two separate incidents) and both of them dealt with it differently. My friend told me about it pretty early into our friendship and, though it was kind of a surprise to learn something of that magnitude, it seemed as if it helped her to talk about it to me, knowing that I'd be understanding. My sister, though, doesn't talk about it and I'm fairly certain she hasn't even told her husband about it. As has been said, if my spouse had been molested, I think I'd be comfortable knowing what they wanted to share--or not. I mean, my idea of marriage is one where your spouse is your best friend and confidante, so sharing something like that, in my opinion, is just a sign of the trust between two partners. But, if the spouse that suffered the molestation truly doesn't want, or feel the need, to talk about it, I don't think it's something that their partner should force. In conclusion, it's definitely something entirely personal and unique to the individual and relationship.
  8. Well, just in case anyone was wondering, we found a great place a few blocks from our college campus. 3 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms for an awesome price of $1800/month, without needing to haggle. Thanks for all of the advice and tips. I appreciate it.
  9. Hey, thanks for the responses so far. I've been getting two different aspects--some people saying that haggling can be a deal-breaker and other saying that it comes with the territory. My new question, though, is how much do you haggle? We're currently looking at two houses: one is 4 bdr, 1.75 bath for $2290 and the other is 4 bdr., 1 bath home for $2000. The cheaper house would be more convenient location-wise, but the more expensive one has an extra 3/4 bath which would be nice considering there would be 4 people sharing the shower. I'm just not sure how low we should go when and if we haggle for the larger house; do we basically say, "Well, we're looking at another 4 bdr house whose rent is almost $300 cheaper, can you work with us a little?" Ugh. This is why I don't work retail--I'm a terrible negotiator! But anyway, after all of this rambling, my final question: how far under the listed price is a good point to start haggling? My friends want to start at $1900 or $2000 (for the $2290 house), but I feel like that's really low and we might just end up insulting the homeowner rather than getting a bargain.
  10. I wasn't really sure where to put this, but I'm a first-time renter (or, will be soon) and I'm not sure what the protocol is when it comes to rent. I live in Seattle and I'm looking for a place for myself and two or three friends. In the area where we're looking 3 bedrooms apts. and houses go for anywhere from $1700-2400 per month. We can all afford about $450-550 a month each, but we're not sure if we should haggle with landlords about rent or not. The parents of one of my friends owns a house that they rent out and she said that they always set their price about $300 higher than what they really need, but I don't know if that means all landlords do that. Any help/tips/advice?
  11. Wow, good to know. Well, relatively. That thesis comment shot a chill up my spine.
  12. I definitely do remember high school, considering it was less than five years ago. Subs were/are always viewed as easy marks, as bad as that sounds. I'm not sure I want to put myself on the chopping block, so to speak. Also, some of the advice that has been given is leaning more toward the idea of middle or high school teaching, but I'm thinking more along the lines of teaching at a two-year college. However, my odds of that--especially right out of grad school--are pretty slim, I'd assume. In response to some of the other observations, I'm definitely aware that teaching isn't just about handing out assignments. I know it's a lot of work outside of the classroom and in my "free" time, but, for some reason, I'm still willing to do it. As for my B.A., well, either way I'm majoring in English. I figure it's a pretty versatile field (but I could be kidding myself...) so if the teaching doesn't work out, I could work in publishing, marketing or even journalism--not to mention I'm minoring in French, so that definitely opens up a few more doors. My biggest question now is figuring out how one goes about becoming a professor at a two-year college. From what I've learned, I'll need to have my masters (which I'll hopefully have taken care of within a year of finishing my B.A.), but I'm not sure what sort of teaching certification I'd need for post-secondary education. Yeah, I'm sorry to drag this thread on, but people kept posting (thanks!), so I thought I'd ask in case someone out there in cyber space has any clue. Thanks.
  13. It really does take awhile to heal. Longer than three days, actually. Getting it pierced just to take it out is pretty much a waste of money, in my opinion. I think you should talk to your boss about it first, let him/her know you'd like to do this and that it will be small (well, I'm assuming it'll be small if you're trying to hide it!). The studs really don't have to be noticeable unless you want them to be. I got mine done almost two years ago and a girl I see every now and then just noticed it a few weeks ago. I actually work as a receptionist (and I spend summers working with kids) and there's usually policies against non-ear piercings, but those are getting waived more and more often because of the fact that piercings are becoming more mainstream. Yay for us. Anyway, wearing the plastic retainer thing will get old very quickly. I'd just tell your boss to avoid any hassle later on.
  14. Texami, thanks for the help with this. I've been meaning to go talk to my adviser about this (he's the one who got me thinking about it seriously), but I'm just so busy with work and class. I'm also in contact with the head of the English literature graduate program at the school I'm interested in going to after I get my B.A. next year. He sent me a really friendly, informative email, which was great because now I feel better about some of my more specific questions (i.e., they do train their TAs--somewhat). They also have other positions in the Writing Center, which would mean my doing one-on-one tutoring. Anyway, I figure an assistantship is a good way to test the waters without making a life decision on teaching. I mean, I'll be working toward my Masters in English lit.--which I'll need even if I don't decide to teach--but the TA position will be good experience (even if it's the Writing Center). Now...all I have to do is get the TA position.
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