denisemarie

It been a while since I've been on the forum and alot has happen since. I moved out, he gave me little more than a week to get out (by his daughters b-day), and by God's grace I found a place for me and my kids to go. I almost failed my finals, but managed to pull a 78%. The Kids are adjusting; I don't a have dime to my name, but we went to Disneyland for my son's 9th birthday. I guess that's what American Express is for. We needed to get away and they deserved it. My son spent the first ten minutes at Disneyland hugging me and telling me that this is his best birthday ever. I thank God for every minute we spent there. After throwing us out and his kid moving in, within hours of us leaving, he came around and said he would help me, if I needed it, to get through school. He said he thinks he made a big mistake and he is miserable without me and hopes that in the future we can come back to what we had and even better, he even offered, in a off handed way, the possiblity of marriage, but I will say this, he gives me nothing tangible to hold onto right now, just more empty promises. His daughter, her b/f , and soon-to-be baby are in the house that me and my children have lived in for six years; the walls that we lovingly painted have all been painted over, my dog and cats reside there without us, and to add insult to injury he skirts around his daughter to come and see me for 10-20 minutes each day, b/c he doesn't want to upset her in her "condition", as if pregnancy were a sickness. If he were so miserable without me why does he continue to put me last in his life? He seems to believe that they will want to move out when the baby comes, but I know differently. No matter what they think will happen they don't seem to realize that everything in your life changes when a baby is born. I told him there is no way I will move back even if me and my kids have to live in a 5th wheel for the next 8 months and struggle to get by. I will never be put in that position again. I want to finish school and stand as indepenantly as possible, so my kids never have to go through something like this ever again. From this point on I refuse to be treated as a toy that can be thrown aside when you tire or grow bored of me and then one day you decided you miss playing with me and want me back. I am lonely and sad but I have never felt so much control over my own destiny as I do today. I am reading this book that I found at a hair salon called "The Law of Attraction" and believe me it has nothing to with relationships, not directly anyway. It's pretty interesting and I have never read anything like it before, it talks about how a person is in complete control of their life and happiness by simply wishing it or thinking it. If you think failure you are sure to "attract" failure and if you think success you are sure to "attract" success; it is a very interesting concept, especially for someone like me, who has had nothing but obstacle after obstacle in life. I'm only a few chapters in but it seems promising. I don't know where our futures are heading and things are tough, but we are together and healthy and that is what matters most! God bless everyone and their kind words during my most difficult time. It's good to know your not alone.

That is absolutly crazy. I have size 34D breasts but most people wouldn't know it. I think if you want people to look, then wear your skimpy shirts. I if you don't, then cover those bad boys up. If this is how your girl always dresses, and that is what caught your attention in the first place, then your pretty much gonna have to adjust. It's all about style and to each is own. I personally don't want to see someone else's flesh as I'm sure they don't want to see mine, no matter how beautiful we might think it is, unless of course you're at the beach or in bed. I don't know what kind of social circles you guys hang in but mine are pretty conservative, so I'd say no way to cleavage during the day.

I think your idea for texting her sounds fine. I'd worry more about what your going to say when you both are face to face. Just a little advice, you both seem to have some resentments so I'd avoid bringing up past woes or hurts, it will only start a fight. You both have been through some pretty tramatic stuff lately, so keep it light. Talk about where your going from that point and leave the past mistakes where they belong...in the past. Good luck to you!

How about a necklace or bracelet with both your birthstones or some type of engraving. Go simple and sincere.

I agree, give and take is what it's all about. You lean on me this week and I'll lean on you the next.

Put something nice on her doorstep with a little note ring the bell and leave. Someone did this for me once and it truly touched my heart.

That's what I keep telling myself and I certainly hope that it proves true.

I once fell in love with a 89 y/o man that was one of my hospice patients. It wasn't the way he looked or anything like that, but the smile that came on his face everytime I entered the room. He made me feel beautiful b/c my youth made him feel alive. Beauty is what makes us warm inside. Everytime I make someone smile I feel beautiful from the inside out. I hope you all feel this each and everyday!

I was having a conversation with a friend a few weeks back. She is in her forties, fairly nice looking, owns a business, and has been having terrible luck over the last few years finding someone to share her life with. She said that guys don't like girls who are independent and secure b/c they expect equal amounts of control over the relationship and most men need to be in control. Although I have seen this most of my life with my mom's disasterous marriages, I argued with her b/c I NEED to believe that equal relationships do exist. I went home and asked my b/f what he thought about it and this is what he said: Guys aren't attracted to strong independent women, they prefer them to be weak and insecure b/c men need to be in control of a relationship. Women who are independent expect more and can leave when they want. He said it is pure animal insinct and that is why men are attracted to looks and needs and women money and strength. Men need to be in control and women need to feel protected it is as simple as that. He even made a half-joking statment about dating single moms is kinda like taking care of "another man's garbage" and that is why guys won't usually date a single mom. I was appalled. Mind you I have been plenty weak and needy over the years, but I always thought the reason that a man stayed with me was b/c of who I am, and not how I look or what I need from them fiscally. I haven't had alot of experience dating I'm 32 and was married seven years and in a long-term relationship for six and a half years, but I am not a naive girl this is just something I never considered. Now I'm reaching my time for independance and security (graduating college) and my long-time b/f is ready to call it quits, how coincidental. Is he afraid that I might leave or that I might begin to demand or expect more from our relationship?

I hear ya! I'm kinda going through one of those ruts right now. I have finals over the next few weeks, but I'm so emotionally drained that I can't even pick up a book. Today I had a day off and planned on spending some quality time with my son and studying this afternoon, but instead I fell asleep on his bed at 11:00 this morning. I haven't taken a nap during the day in years, but I guess I needed it b/c I sure felt better after. Of course my grades aren't going to stay too good if I have to cram this weekend.Try and find a way to reenergize your self. Go shopping, get a facial, take a jog, or have friend take you to coffee anything that might set you back on track. I tend to slip every semester around the end of it, but for some reason when they end around the holidays it's always worse. Hang in there don't give up things are bound to turn around, just imagine what things are going to be like once your through with school.

Any type of horomal shift or change seems to interact negatively on a woman's libido, especially birth control pills, so I wouldn't be too worried unless it continues to be a problem. I was just talking with someone today about how horomones changes from pregnancy, childbirth, breast feeding, medications, and even simple vitamins can have a dramatic effect on a women sexually.

Goodness gracious don't do that; your young and you have plenty of more screwing up to do. I'm in my thirties and still doing it, but atleast now it's getting me somewhere in life. My resolution this year is to pull myself out of this mess I call my life, finish school, and take my kids to Disneyland...finally.

Hits you like a Mack truck in the middle of an intersection. Do people just wake up one day and say "Hey I'm tired of this life I think I'll start a new one and BLEEP everyone else." I'm with you I just don't get it.

I'm in the same situation with my b/f except we have been living together for more than six years. He's telling everyone he/we know that we are over and I'm moving out, but he keeps telling me he loves me and cannot imagine life w/o me. He says he doesn't know what he is going to do, but everyone else in town seems to know something. I'm getting big time cold shoulder from people he knows and all I'm doing is living like I have for years. Secrets, secrets, secrets! I hear your pain and I wish I had some grand words of advice, but I know if you love him it's hard to just give up all that you have invested emotionally. NC sounds like it freaks him out, so if he doesn't want to give you the answers you deserve then let him see what it feels like to be the one in the dark maybe that'll bring him around.

I'm home listening to three sixth grade girls singing to the play station, I cannot even remember being with somone who wanted to go anywhere for New Year's Eve, but hey there's always next year! Happy New Year and keep looking forward to the year that you will have that special someone to kiss when the ball drops.