jujubes

Reading that made ME want to marry you. Awesome... that is one lucky gal. I wouldn't change a thing. Good luck.

I have only been seeing my boyfriend for a month and a half, which makes me think it is too soon for love, but I have never cared for someone so strongly in my life. I could spend hours lying next to him and feel like I'm on cloud 9, just by being near him. We sometimes stare into each others eyes for a long time (minutes) and not say a word, and I get this feeling like my heart is full of so much fondness for him, I can barely contain it, and there are not enough words in English to express it. When he is sick I can't fall asleep because I'm worried about him. Sometimes when we kiss, there is so much emotion in it, I almost start to cry...I feel like we are sharing souls instead of saliva. (Sorry if that's gross, haha) The other day I realized I am more concerned with him being happy than myself being happy. This has never happened to me in a relationship before (maybe I'm just selfish). He is going away on vacation for an entire month in March, and even though I'll miss him like crazy, I feel like that is less important than the fact that he'll be having fun. Does this sound like it is still just infatuation, or could it be love? I am very attracted to him, but we haven't had sex yet and I am perfectly content just being in his company. I really can't find words to express how much I care for him. My feelings grow stronger each time I see him. Could this be love?

I'm 20 and have been dating a wonderful guy for one month. Neither of us have been in a relationship that lasted more than 2 weeks before, so this is new territory for both of us. I'm starting to feel like our relationship is at a standstill now. Given my limited experience, I don't know if this is normal and I'm just overanalyzing things, or if it's something to worry about. Here are my concerns: -It feels like we have nothing to talk about. We became great friends two months before we started dating, and learned basically everything about each other. Now it's hard to have any long conversations, because we've already discussed everything under the sun... it feels like we aren't progressing in our communication. I worry that this means we aren't really compatible and that we'll start to bore each other soon. -It also seems like all we do is make out. We have not had sex yet. But if we are ever alone together, whatever we're doing quickly turns into a makeout session. I'm extremely attracted to this guy, so I'm not complaining... but I wonder if this is making our relationship unbalanced. -We are very different people (I'm studying music, he's studying engineering) and I feel like we don't understand where each other is coming from. We are both supportive of each other's pursuits, but we can't relate to each other, if that makes sense. I worry there won't be enough emotional understanding to make this relationship work... Basically, I don't know if it's normal to feel like the relationship has lost a bit of its "spark" at the 1 month point, and has become somewhat predictable and routine. I care about this guy a lot, and I love spending time with him, but I still wonder whether this is a successful relationship or not? What is it is supposed to feel like at this point? Is it OK if things seem a little boring and aren't progressing? Or is that a sign to break up? I'm just so confused and I have nothing to judge this against, so any imput would be awesome... THANKS.

All mine have their first name start with D, were born in September, have dark curly hair, are estranged from their mother, and are computer whizzes...it is very weird.

UPDATE: We went to see a movie tonight. I was planning on telling him how I feel, but I chickened out at the last minute. But, that turned out to be okay....because after the movie, he said "I have something to tell you," and then said he's interested in me as more than a friend. I was so relieved! I told him I felt the same way, so now we are "together" though taking it slow. Thank you for everyone who gave advice on this thread, I really appreciate all your thoughts.

To answer some questions- I am 20 and he is 21. He was abused by his father as a child, which is why he has low self-esteem. He has actually come a very long way since then and is more confident now than before, but still has a lot of wounds to lick. The comment about being baffled that I want to talk to him came during a very personal conversation, and I had no idea he had such low self-esteem until he told me directly.....he does a good job of hiding it. He actually seems very confident most of the time. I didn't get a chance to see him on New Years Eve but I might see him later tonight. I will give an update then. Also, a few days ago, I mentioned that my hands were cold and he held them for a few minutes to try to warm them up. I take that as a good sign.

Thanks everyone... Would it really be OK to kiss him out of the blue? I really would love to do that, but it seems kind of risky if it turns out he just likes me as a friend. What if I try to see him on New Year's Eve and plant one on him at midnight?

Thanks for the reply. I am just hesitant to make the first move because I don't want to misread him, and ruin an awesome friendship. But it looks like I'll have to take that chance if i want anything to happen.

One more thing, in case it matters- he has only had one girlfriend in his life, and it was very short term because he moved away. He told me a few times that he is "clueless with what to do about women" and that he can't fathom anyone ever being interested in him (he has low self esteem). He said once, "It baffles me that you even want to talk to me." I don't know if that matters, just thought I'd add it....thanks.

I met this really sweet guy a while back, and I can't figure out if he likes me as more than a friend, or if he's just very nice. He's a real gentleman, but also has low confidence with women because of his past. I'm trying to figure out if he's interested, because if he is, I know I'll have to make the first move. This is what I have to go on so far: -Last month, we were talking about music and I mentioned I hadn't heard some albums he was talking about. It was just a 5-minute conversation and then we started discussing other stuff. Then last week, he burned me a copy every single CD I'd said I hadn't heard....I couldn't believe he remembered. I'd almost forgotten we even had the conversation. Much less the specific albums we talked about. -Almost very time we hang out, it is just me and him, no one else. We have gone to movies together, gone stargazing, gone on long car rides to random places... etc. If we go out to eat, he offers to pay. But neither of us calls these "dates." -I invited him on a bike ride with me, and he wanted to come despite having a horrible stomach ache. I told him he didn't have to come along if he was so sick, but he said he really wanted to. He was pretty miserable the whole time with stomach cramps but stuck with me the whole time. Then, a similar thing happened another time I invited him on a walk- he came with me despite being very ill. I don't know what to make of this- seems like he's making a big effort to see me even if he should really be resting at home? Maybe I'm reading too much into it. -A few times after we've hung out, he has said, "Wow, I haven't had that much fun in a long time" or "That was a blast" etc...even if we didn't do anything exciting. -He playfully teases me a lot -When we are sitting down, I have inched closer and closer to him, to see how close I can get before he moves away. We've ended up with our shoulders touching and he seems perfectly comfortable. (I don't think this is just because we are good friends, because I tried this the very first time we met too, and the same thing happened) -If I ever talk about other guys, he points out things wrong with them, and says that I deserve better. However....he has made no moves at this point, so I wonder if he just wants to be friends. After we hang out and he takes me home, he seems in a hurry to get away and his goodbyes are very short ("That was fun, let's do it again sometime, bye"). Even though I like him romantically, I also love being his friend and don't want to screw anything up by revealing my feelings before I'm sure of his. Any comments/advice would be soooo appreciated. Thanks!!

Thanks for the replies! Tyler, that's what I worry about... did I dump him out of fear? I've had self-esteem issues in the past, so maybe part of me thought I wasn't good enough for him. It seems like I just got bored with the relationship, but maybe I just wanted conflict, wanted something to go wrong because I don't feel like I deserve to be happy. I don't know if that's actually the case--I'm just speculating here. What I mean about wanting to get away because of having the same qualities is this. Basically, I only recently overcame my social anxiety and became more outgoing. But he is EXACTLY how I used to be--very unsocial and avoids people. I feel like when I spend time with him, I start slipping back into my old patterns. Same goes for things like spirituality. He is atheist, but I've become quite spiritual in the past few years... yet when we talk about this stuff, I get pulled back into my atheist days and start doubting my beliefs. I feel like I can't hold on to my own identity when I'm with him. We're so similar, I start adopting his ideas as my own, instead of thinking for myself. Does that make sense? It just felt like the relationship was holding me back in some ways.

I just ended things with my 4-month boyfriend. I am 18 and this was the first guy I've ever been in a relationship with. Looking at it objectively, he was just about the perfect guy for me: totally trustworthy, honest, mellow, gentle, etc. We got along like best friends, sharing almost all our interests and viewpoints. I felt safe with him and totally at ease. Able to be myself. The problem? I just stopped feeling the relationship. He did absolutely nothing wrong, but I found myself looking for more and more ways to AVOID spending time with him. Sometimes I liked kissing him, but most of the physical stuff we did, I'd just lie there and tense up because I was totally NOT aroused. My romantic feelings towards him fluctuated on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes I acted grumpy or snappy just to see if I could rile him up, because his mellowness was getting on my nerves. I never really looked forward to spending more than a few hours with him... any longer than that, and I'd want some space. So I dumped him. I felt horrible, especially because I couldn't give him a reasonable explanation why I was doing it! It's like we were so similar, there was no challenge, no spark, no encouragement to grow or learn. I felt like I was with my twin. He also mirrored some things about myself that I would like to get away from (such as being kind of unsocial) so I felt like my personal growth was stifled. But now I'm having serious second thoughts about having broken up with him. He was SUCH a great guy! Especially at my age, it's hard to find men who are so respectful. And he shared so many of my weird quirks and hobbies. I'm feeling like the moron of the century right now... why did I throw away a relationship that had so much going for it? Since he was my first boyfriend, I have no experience with any of this. Does it sound like I made a huge mistake letting him go?