Donkey Spice

Man, I would say you could ask a male that same question. Each girl is different and quite honestly it makes things easier if you discuss with a girl what she likes. Some like many fingers fast, some like fewer fingers slower. When I was younger and not so wise about things I figured quick finger-banging would please 'em all but that's so not the case. Trust me, talking about sex with your partner makes the sex better for you both.

Whatsagirltodo, like you mention how your boyfriend went two years without sex, I've gone since February of '05. The last person that I had sex with I was engaged to. God, I miss her. I don't think that I'll ever stop loving her. Life's so damn weird. I used to be so open with girls and loved spending time with them. As far as I can see, my main purpose in life is to find that other person that completes me. Without her I feel like something is missing. I thought I had found her but as it turned out I guess I was wrong. Just these past two weeks I've asked a couple girls out for the first time since I was engaged. One I particularly like, but while we were out walking by the river that flows by the city in which I live, my stomach started knotting up. We were just walking and chatting, you know, getting to know each other. The pain I suffered from my last relationship entered my mind and I excused myself, found a restroom and puked my guts up. You know that scene in Clockwork Orange where the main character is being conditioned to be sick when exposed to sex and violence? I feel like I've gone through that same classical conditioning. If I sit down and really think about getting close with this girl I end up puking. My subconscious is trying to protect me from more pain. I've subscribed to more porn websites these past months than you'd believe. Gotta love relationships. Gotta love the bittersweet feeling of a lost love. GOTTA LOVE PORN!!

Am I the only male that doesn't feel right about having sex with women that I hardly know? I've been out at bars watching my friends start making out with some girl that he's met an hour earlier, knowing they'll be at his place screwing in a few hours wondering why I don't feel comfortable doing the same thing. I don't know how many times I've taken steps to makes sure I don't end up in bed with some drunk party girl. Don't get me wrong, sex is fantastic. I love it. A female's body suits me just fine. But the one time I did have sex with a girl that I knew not too well, as soon as we were finished I was thinking, "What the hell was that? I don't even know you." I got dressed and scurried off. Why has sex become so meaningless with so many? Sure we all have urges to act like a sexual beast and bust out the toys and chains but doesn't anyone love the spiritual connection sex provides (I'm speaking to the guys here I suppose)? Honestly, even as I type this, this seems corny, sex isn't worth it if I don't feel strongly towards the girl. There are fewer things better in life than having great, adventuresome sex with someone you love. I feel porn and high-tech lubricants were created to tide us over when we're between relationships. Maybe a sex-doll or two. Or even those rubber molds they have of porn stars. Or warmed up watermelons. Maybe the sleeve of your favorite jacket. Or maybe..........

I got really into eastern meditation once and went two months once. You reach a whole new level of consciousness after the first month but you'd also be willing to screw a watermelon.

I so understand. Read the post I just started "When Your Soulmate Leaves..." What about the folks? Hers I mean. Would they be of any help? Are you close enough to them to have a secret conversation with mom or dad to find out what's happening? I know it sucks though. There is nothing in the world as exquisitely painful as the hell the female sex can bring to us. Hang in there tiger.

What happens when you're absolutely, befuddlingly, bamboozingly in love with your soulmate, engaged, and she leaves you? She says a few sentences explaining nothing and turns around and leaves. What the hell are you supposed to do when you made damn sure that she felt the same way you did? What are you supposed to do when that one, perfect person runs away not wanting to talk to you ever again even though you DID NOTHING WRONG? How can a person fit you soooooo well but turn out to be a little crazy? What are the odds of finding the next one in a million woman that completes you? 18 months ago I asked myself these questions and am still asking myself these questions. Not everyday mind you, just when I'm contemplating the meaning of life and seeking answers to questions that have no answers. I loved this girl so much, and still do I suppose, that I wasn't angry in the slightest when she left. I really just wanted her to be happy even if it wasn't with me. Deep down I know what happened (displaced anger at her * * * * * * * father projected towards me) but it has so screwed my personal trust in others. I came to the decision that you never can be 100% sure. I've learned that even if you're 99.99999% sure, that .00001% can come back and bite you in the * * *. I don't really want to get close to anybody now. Even the 18 months without sex hasn't motivated me to seek out companionship. Why oh why must life be like this?

So how old is she now? Mid 20's? And you're in your mid 30's? Well, being in my mid 20's and dealing with a young woman in her mid 20's recently that did the same thing to me, I'd have to say that women in their mid 20's are INSANE. If I were you I'd probably give her space and let her "reflect". I've long since learned that a woman's emotion based decision making can make little sense to male's logical mind. Had she been impulsive like this before? Was she depressed or even slightly withdrawn from you before this "married man" popped up on TV?