aymee_lee

Hi confused41. I agree with shadow34. In my case I did get back together with a partner (together 4 years, apart 1.5, together again for 3 months). For us, who both had other partners during the break, the other partner thing wasn't really an issue, and this is probably because we BOTH had dated other people during our time apart. I'm not sure how I would feel if it was only one partner who had dated another during the break up. In our case, the other partners didn't really have any impact on our relationship not working, it was more that he couldn't get over the fact that I had hurt him by ending our relationship 1.5 years earlier (in a nutshell). Interestingly enough, when he did eventually come to terms with it (8 months after our second break up) I had moved on and told him it was too late. I think you have to approach it the way you would with any new partner. I don't really like to think about the fact that my current bf has had other partners and indeed, loved another person. But this makes him who he is, and regardless, it cannot be changed even if I wanted it to. I realise I digressed from your original questions but thought that might be of interest to you anyway.

I am a grade one teacher. My best advice? If you make a mistake, just keep going. You can say 'oops, I didn't mean to say that' or whatever, but kids are very forgiving. They won't laugh at you, not in any hurtful way anyway. My kids at school think I'm so cool, simply because I'm their teacher and I teach them things. You will be a novelty to them- a new teacher is very exciting. And as for the teachers, they'll just be happy that you are doing the work for a bit. I'm sure they'll be interested too. Don't worry. You'll be fine I'm sure

I agree with Mythical Suicide. The first time you're horrified, but honestly, they've seen it all before. I just get my done by my GP. I lay on the bed thing, and he gives me a blanket to put over myself (that's nice, you don't feel so 'on show'). As Mythical said, they just put these forcep things itno you (kinda like tongs to open you up) they take a swab and voila! You're done. And as for them being cold, my doctor warms them up under the hot tap first. Aint he nice Yeah, it's not my favourite thing, but it's not half as bad as what you're imagining in your head, I promise.

Congrats on the baby BTR! I don't have children but I was a part time nanny with one family and when they had a new baby I was sitting for them when their new baby was less than a week old. I think swaddling works well too. But I found with their baby that she knew (maybe as she got a bit older though, probably not at 2 weeks) she could keep herself awake. She didn't like to sleep and I always felt that she knew if she kept moving around she would keep herself awake (which it did). I found if i swaddled her and held her firmly in my arms she would most often fall asleep fairly rapidly. I know it's hard but I found the more you hold them the more they expect it. Then, when you don't have the time to hold them, they don't want to go to sleep. Hopefully if you try the great strategies as suggested by other posters he will get used to you not holding him while he sleeps. Hopefully the baby bed works well too. I could be wrong about the stroller but if he's secure wouldn't that be ok? I have known people do that but maybe their babies were older. He's only 2 weeks old so he's still developing as you are what he likes and doesn't like. I'm sure you're doing a great job!

Its funny you say that batya33. Sometimes I think 'Just quit cricket for goodness sake!' but then he really enjoys it, his plays for his home team, and it's only about 5 months a year. Plus it's his 'thing'. And with his work being so busy I think he's entitled to it Yes, it is annoying sometimes, but I wouldn't ever tell him not to do it. I mean, if he said to me 'Give up doing whatever' I'd think that was a bit unfair. But I'm hearing you!

Thanks for your replies everyone. As I said, I was really just having a rant, but I appreciate everyone taking the time to reply. Just in response to some posters comments- you're right 2 hours really isn't long distance, certainly not in comparison to what some people have to endure (I don't know how they do it he he). In terms of how often we see each other, just a little background (if anyone was interested), I am a school teacher which means I work most days 8-5 or 8-6 Mon-Fri. My bf is an industrial engineer who at this point is contracted to work every other week and weekend in a town about 4 hours away. This means he only gets one weekend off per fortnight. Currently he plays cricket (which I sometimes go to) but where he plays is another hr away from his house which is over 3 hours for me. So when you consider cricket (which is all day) he actually gets about 1 day off per fortnight. So I think we're doing ok! And as I said, it is short term. I was really just ranting in regards to some people's reactions. If we could do something about it we would! Oh well, it's not forever Good luck to everyone in their relationships too

Man, if I hear this one more time... My bf and I are in a LDR and while we only live about 2 hrs apart, ridiculous work schedules sometimes mean 2 weeks apart, and even when we do see each other it can often be just me driving down after work, having dinner and coming back again. Fingers crossed this is a short term problem, (some things are changing with his work which will hopefully make life easier). My little rant is, that when I talk to my friends about when I am seeing my bf (and it's usually not whinging, as our situation cannot be helped right now) they always say "Oh, when are you seeing him" or "When was the last time you saw him?" and when I tell them, they often say "Oh, I don't think I could do that" or "I don't know how you cope". I know they are trying to be supportive but honestly, what choice do I have? I'm not going to give up someone I love and find someone new purely based on location. Love isn't like that. I guess if the situation was reversed I would probably think the same thing, but as I said, what can you do about it? At this point nothing is going to change, and the fact that my friends constantly remind me of how crap our situation is doesn't help! ](*,) Look, I'm really just ranting, but has anyone else expreienced this?

I'm a girl, but I just wanted to say that everyone always has different points of view on this one. Which is what makes it so hard as a girl! You don't want to turn up, first time with your new bf and be the total opposite of what they think is sexy. I know you shouldn't change just for a guy, but I figure that they're the ones down there so if you don't mind you may as well go with what they think! My advice? Throw it into the conversation. I know that sounds weird but if you're planning on sleeping with someone I figure you have established a certain degree of intimacy. (If it's a one night stand then who cares, really?) But seriously, just say 'I was reading this article' or 'My friends and I were talking' and see what he says. He might know what you're hinting at but that's ok. Or, you could just say 'What do you think?' Not sure if this is why you posted this or not, but just thought I'd chuck my 2 cents in anyway

cchurting and mike'ca thanks for your responses. I really appreciate the kind words. I am feeling a bit better about things today, but I still hate to think of how he's feeling. I am seeing my bf this weekend and I'm really looking forward to it. In some ways I feel even more settled now that I've experienced something so...unsettling Funny that. Thanks again.

Tell her you want to get back together. It sounds like she still cares for you. What have you got to lose?

I'll try and cut a long story short (although as we all know, this can be difficult!) My first bf and I were together for 4 years from 17-21 (I'm now almost 24). I initiated our break up. I felt that things just weren't going right, he didn't always treat me very well and I thought that we needed to break up before we really hurt each other. It was extremely difficult but I believed I had done the right thing. Talking to him a while later, he agreed it was the best choice, even if it wasn't the easiest one. We were apart for 1.5 years in which time we both had other partners. After having this time apart, I couldn't shake this nagging feeling that I had that maybe we gave up too soon. I didn't regret breaking up with him, but I felt that I still loved him. We ended up dating again, but I always felt he was hesitant. He didn't ever really commit to us as a couple again in the 4 months we were back together. He told me he wasn't sure what he wanted, he never expected us to get back together and had spent a lot of time convincing himself it wasn't what he wanted. He didn't treat me particularly well during this time. He was away OS for work a lot but rarely called, texted or replied to my texts. We only caught up when he basically had nothing better to do. I let this go for a while, thinking that, in time, things would change. They didn't. In the end, he ended it, saying he was confused and didn't know what he wanted. I accepted this, and for the first time since we had originally broken up, felt closure. After we broke up, I started dating a guy who I had been friends with for a while. He is older than my ex and although he lives about 2 hours away, things are going really well. I feel extremely happy (except for the distance of course). My ex asked me to catch up last night. We have been apart for about 7 months. He proceeded to tell me - That he still loves me - That he doesn't think his feelings for me have ever chnaged since we first met over 6 years ago. - He thinks he's stuffed everything up - He feels like he didn't try when we got back together and it's the biggest mistake he's ever made He didn't know I had another boyfriend. It was horrible. I still love him, but not in that way. He'll always be extremely important to me, but for me, I felt like the last time we got back together showed me that while you can love someone, they may not be the person for you. My problem is I feel extremely sad. I feel sad that I can't give him the answers he's looking for. I feel sad that he put himself out there and he didn't hear what he wanted. I guess it's just playing on my mind that when we got back together last time I remember thinking 'I broke his heart, he's never going to want to get back together' and yet we did (not that he did a great job of it). But I can't help but think of how it would have felt if he had said no. I know that my current boyfriend is the one I want to be with, now more than ever. So why do I feel like this?

It has nothing to do with her still seeing him as a man, he's not emasculated by her not liking him. She's probably annoyed he doesn't get with the program. Exactly. Men may have a woman very low on their list of dateable people, but a woman is never completely off the list. Where as woman may suddenly find the only man left alive on the planet is some one she had on her friends only list and that guy will still have a hard time being anything more to her. This is often true. LOL.

KileOriginal- Yeah, I see what you're saying. But I guess for me, personally, I'm not the type of person who waits around for guys to ask me out. If I liked a guy, I would put things into place to try and move the relationship forward (i.e- ask them out). So I guess that eliminates the dilly dallying!

My theory is this- if you get 'friend zoned' you were never going to date them anyway. The exception to this rule is when one or the other person has a partner when you meet. I will not say NEVER, but rarely have I heard of a girl being strictly friends with a guy (or vice versa), and I mean, no attraction beyond friendship, and then suddenly (or even over time) decided they wanted to date the guy. If you're in the friend zone, that's where you've always been. I don't look at my male friends as anything othre than friends. If I did, I would at least attempt to date them.

I too think you should ask your mom how she feels about this. Maybe she thinks she's being unreasonable if she says anything. She may just need some back up from you. I think it is utterly rude and appaling that not only your brother but his entire family are living with your mother and not even contributing a cent. I realise that sometimes there are difficult money issues but even if this is the case, they can at least treat her with the respect she deserves.