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need2bme

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need2bme last won the day on November 22 2007

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  1. I needed to read that. Of course in my case, she was still the same person, until she punted my butt.
  2. So aren't you supposed to be in here posting more, so that you can heal and get it all out? ;-)
  3. Hey, people have told me that I talk WAY too much. ;-) My ex used to ask me if I ever thought anything that didn't come out of my mouth. I had a girl that I was dating, tell me that I share too much sometimes and I seemed as if I was trying to convince her, when I spoke to her. To me, sharing is caring. ;-) I had to learn to tone that down. I also had to learn that a little mystery is a good thing and just because you can say something, doesn't mean that you should. What I am trying to say is to let people judge you on your merits. Don't give them false ammo to use against you. Now get in here and keep posting...;-)
  4. So, what are you doing to heal yourself? Don't beat yourself up about sending the card for Christmas. One thing I have learned is that you have to follow your heart. I love and miss my ex, but I was VERY unhappy. So, my responsibility to myself, is to find out why. Was it me, was it her or was it us. You are right, that it is very confusing when someone says that they care for you and they are with someone else. Logic tells us, even in the most hurt of us, that if you say you love me, but sleep with someone else, how can you be telling me the truth. See, I am going through the same thing. If you see me, hug me, kiss me, tell me you miss me, tell me that you are good now, because you got to see me, sign "I love you" when you leave AND then hardly talk to me when I am not around; well that quite frankly states that I don't mean squat. What it also means is that if we are to heal, we have to start the healing ourselves and NC is a good way to start. If you think you might want to talk to him sometime later, then fine, but give yourself some time first.
  5. My friend always says that the above is not necessarily true, because what we do right now, will change our past, when this time becomes our past. ;-) This is what is so hard to learn and remember for so many people. It took me so long, until recently after my breakup, as a matter of fact. I kept saying to people, "but we have been together for "X" amount of years", to which they would reply, "do you want to still be this way in "X+1" years?" If I would have only listened.
  6. Does it really matter if he ISN'T a LDS? I ask, because if he is Catholic or Baptist, he still believes in a God. Also, I personally do not believe what the LDS believe and my ex and I believed differently, but I still loved her dearly. Also, you really seem to be all over the place. Why are you still asking if his breast comments were bad? As Ghost wrote, "any statement to keep an argument going is bad". I will go one step further, "any person who will openly criticize you and make you feel bad, simply so they can have a leg up in the argument or feel better about themselves, is CRAP!" Also, even though we have only heard your side, I am sure that if you come accross to him (AND this in not intended to offend) like you are all over the place and cannot figure out what you want and want to change everything about him, then I can see how he might be frustrated. So, back up, take a deep breath, sit down and figure out what you want. Do you want to continue to be put down? Do you want to feel like you have to make him change? These are things to figure out within yourself.
  7. Therein lies the rub. I think this has nothing to do with your fight and EVERYTHING to do with her. This is how she feels and you have every right to want her the whole way and not halfway. So at this point, it is a decision you have to make. You have to figure out what you can take. My ex is the same way, not really in the whole wiggin' out part, but in acting like she needs me and wants to be with me and then when I am outta sight, I am apparently outta mind. So, again, do you want to keep going through this? Because going through this is exactly what is going to happen. If she was ready to change, she would have done it already. Talk with her again, but talk from the heart and ask her if she stil loves you and what is it that is scaring her. If that doesn't resolve anything, then you have to let it all go. If you cannot be 100% with her, because your mind is hung up on all the details, then you have to let her go...
  8. I am sorry that you had to go through so much, but your dad and stepmom sound ok. I am not sure exactly what you are asking though, so...what is it that you would like advice/input on?
  9. I agree with Dako. Not even worrying about the porn, but the fact that he belittles you and doesn't seem to give a crap about your feelings, would stop my engagement cold. Also, and I know I am going to get flames on this, but where in the world do all these crappy girls/guys get guys/girls from? I see friends and people on here all the time, talking about ghastly things that thier SOs do. It just blows my mind how people treat other people.
  10. You are not losing your mind. At least I don't think you are. ;-) ...and yes, you are in the throws of sadness. Think about it. This is the ultimate betrayal. The only thing that could hurt worse, is if God forbid, something happened to a family member or when someone grieves the death of someone. Anyway, being a guy, I can tell you that I don't think dating someone right after is a GUY thing. My ex is dating someone and I can tell you that she wants to hang out with me. Why? I am sure she misses me and is used to our friendship and she "misses the silliness", but she CHOSE her way. I told her that she could fix it all and she replied, "I know". My point is, how can she supposedly love him, be with him and then see me, hold my hand and tell me that things are good, now that she got to see me. She probably felt that way, but if they want to be with us, then they should be with us. Why should you have to try so hard to get HIM? I did date a little after my breakup and actually thought I was beginning to like someone and then she backed off. I pined so much for her and I guarantee that it was a transference of the feelings I had from missing the ex. I miss my friend and I want so much to hang out with her again, but it is just messing me up and I deserve so much more than this. Don't you deserve to be with someone who cannot wait to be with you, rather than someone who could date someone else and tell you he thinks about you?
  11. Do what is in your heart Steve. Only you can make yourself happy, brother!
  12. Amen, amen, AMEN!!! I was just thinking the other day and IceMotoBoy has stated on more than one occasion, to just feel those feelings. I kept thinking that I should feel one way or the other or just be angry or tell her like it is or wonder how I still had feelings for her when she did not want to be with me and I have decided that it is ok. I will accept that I feel all of these things and work through them with the feelings of acceptance. I no longer have to fret about what I should and shouldn't feel. I can accept that I still love her and miss her and not worry so much. It doesn't make me bad or it a bad situation. It just is what it is. Thanks for the post...
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