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I screwed up

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  1. I agree that there's not enough information to go on here, but if my girlfriend was having some random men sleep over, our relationship would be over. I do not have random girls sleep and my house.
  2. I get the impression that yes, she does like you. I think she was being honest about having exams, and that yes, she does like you and want to hang out with you.
  3. If he's not sure you're interested in him, and it's been a couple days you might give him a call and say something like you enjoyed hanging out with him, and you're looking forward to seeing him again. He might be hesitant to call you if he's not sure you like him, I don't see anythign wrong with calling him.
  4. As a guy, I really don't care how a woman's vagina looks. They're all pretty cute to me Some of my guy friends like big boobs or small boobs, but I've never heard someone mention anything about how a vagina looks.
  5. I'm a guy, and my first time receiving was a little weird and uncomfortable too, but I quickly got past that
  6. That is so true. I spoke with her today and got some clarification about the issue. Pretty much everything I had suspected I was correct about. She told her sister that she was hoping I'd get a job and we could continue being happy together. I guess I know what I need to do to get things done. Thanks everyone, for the advice and words of encouragement.
  7. You can also probably turn logging on in MSN. That will log your messages to a file saved on your computer. Look in your MSN program under options, tools, preferences... something along those lines. Depending on what state or country you are in, computer logs might or might not be allowed in a court of law, but it will give the police something to go on. This guy is bad news. You might want to consider making your screen name private, or unavailable depending on the program, or changing your screen name. Definetly report him to the police, and probably the school authorities as well. Talk to a counselor at your school. Talk to the police about getting a restraining order. If he violates the restraining order, he can go to jail.
  8. I agree with Belle. I know it hurts like hell now, but you'll start to feel better. Time heals all wounds. Trust me on this one, it will get better.
  9. I don't think it makes much of a difference. I'm 26 and my girlfriend is 23. When you get older, the age difference doesn't matter so much. Two years difference is pretty normal. If you like her a lot, and want to be with her, you won't pressure her into having sex with you. Respect her, and wait until she's ready.
  10. I kind of touched on this in my previous post to nottoogreen. I know unix really well, which is the operating system that most of the internet runs off of. http://www.enotalone.com runs off of unix for instance, as does every other major site. I also do computer security, and have done work that involves pretty much hacking into networks to find their flaws and reporting on how to fix them. This is a growing field and I'm working on starting a computer security consulting business but it's really slow. My girlfriend just wants me to have something steady so that I can pull my weight in the relationship, she's not looking for me to provide for her, or at least she says she's not. I'm going for any job I can find right now, and I've gone to some of those assistance places, but they weren't much help honestly. I'm doing the monster.com thing, I'm applying at any local place I can find, warehouse work, oil change shops even. EDIT: I'm focusing on the computer angle since that's my strong suit. I don't do a lot of web design, so I'm teaching myself the PHP web programming language as a way to broaden my skills and keep current. But I'm also looking at any possible job I can to get by and improve my situation. I can tell that being unemployed is having an effect on my self esteem. Normally I have a pretty good self esteem and am really confident and proactive about getting things done, but lately I haven't been. I used to find myself sometimes asking her for reassurance that she still loved me and hadn't cheated on me. Partly because she doesn't share her feelings very openly, but partly because I had a lower self esteem. I realize that this bothers her as well and I've stopped asking her these things. I definetly don't think she's shallow for this either, I understand where she's coming from. I should have seen the warning signs better. I HAVE been working on my job status but admittedly not as well as I could have been. I've been discouraged in my job search. I know I have the makings of being really successful, but it's hard. Sometimes I feel like it's a lost cause. The last job I had I was working for my father at his insurance company. I was doing a really good job, going above and beyond my duties, dressing more professionally than was required, but he was extremely hard on me. He made my cry in the office my third day of work, and my co-worker said he was being really hard on me so it's not just me saying this. I ended up working there for almost a year and a half under these conditions and sometimes now I feel like I'm not good enough to work for someone since I wasn't good enough for him and this is part of my discouragement. I have a feeling that she still loves me, but is frustrated and has some resentments over my job status. I might not have explained things as well as I could have, she is definetly not shallow and materialistic and I hope that didn't come accross in my original post. I honestly think that she still loves me but her resentments are getting in the way and she's using her head here more than her heart. I can see parallels with the situation we were in where I was using drugs and she told me she was falling out of love with me because of that. That she still loved me but didn't like how the drugs were making me. I fixed that situation and as far as I know, everything was fine between us after that. I almost don't think it's unfair of her to say that if I had a job then everything would be fine. She's not good at sharing her feelings sometimes, and I feel like she loves me but the unemployment resentment feelings are getting to be too much for her. I don't see anything that's changed during our break except we're not having sex anymore. Before our break, our sex life was lacking in my opinion, she didn't want to have sex as often and wasn't into it as much but I think that boils down to the job situation. I almost see our break as being an ultimatum. She knows I'm a very sexual person and want sex all the time, and I think she's using it as the carrot to lead me to a job. You're right on the money there, that's pretty much how I'm dealing with things. I love this woman with all my heart, and I'm sad about our situation but not depressed. I'll get through it either way it turns out. I appreciate all the advice from everyone here, it's helped.
  11. I can understand how my jobless situation is frustrating and bringing her down and I don't blame her for that. I can understand where she's coming from. I have a high school diploma, and I took a year of college for computer science. For jobs I have done unix administration and computer security and was making over $50k a year. I haven't had a job in computers since my felony, but in my experience these jobs don't ask about felonies. They're kind of hard to find around here at the moment, which makes it difficult. I've also worked at a gas station, I've worked as a receptionist making decent money, and I've done insurance work as well, answering phones, doing insurance quotes and submitting claims to insurance companies.
  12. My girlfriend of over 4 years and I are on a "break" right now. We've had our ups and downs like any couple would, but it's mostly been good times. I'm going to be 27 in June and she'll be 24 in October. When I met her she was 18, and I met her at a party that one of my good friends was having. I liked her when we met, and in her case I think it was almost like love at first sight. We first hooked up not long after that, hanging out with our mutual friends. I got arrested for drug possession and she stuck by my side through all the court days. I thought I was going to end up in prison for 3 years and I ended up cheating on her and I was honest about it. We worked through that issue and I have been faithful to her since. When I was using drugs she expressed that she wasn't happy with it, and told me she was falling out of love with me because of how the drugs made me. She threatened to leave me unless I cleaned up my act, and I've been clean since, and I have no desire to use again. It was hard at first but it's been a couple years now and I'm beyond drugs. We worked past this issue as well and went on to have a loving relationship. For the past year I haven't had a job and she has expressed her displeasure with this for the past year as well. I have a felony record and that makes it hard to find a job. I'm not lazy, I'm a hard worker and will succeed when someone finally gives me a chance. Three days ago we were talking on the phone, and she said if I had a job that she'd marry me. We talked for a little while longer and I could tell something was wrong but she didn't want to talk about it. I had to almost drag it out of her and she said she was thinking of taking a break with me. She wouldn't give me a straight answer until I asked her flat out "So, are we taking a break or not?" and she softly said "Yes." I asked her if she wanted a break, or if she wanted to breakup and she was insistent on calling it a break. The only rules to the break are that we aren't to see other people until we figure things out, and I'm going to be faithful to her until she tells me it's over. She told me "I love you, but I'm not IN LOVE with you" and she said it more than likely had to do with the no-job status. I can understand how frustrating that is to her, and I understand her resentment. I'm frustrated about not having a job myself. Deep down I feel she still loves me but is feeling resentment because I don't have a job. We both live with our parents, and I know she'd like to move out soon, as would I. It's not about me being able to provide for her, but the issue is me being able to pull my own weight. We live about half an hour apart and I used to go to her house quite frequently but for the last year she's had to come to me strictly. She's kind of an introvert and has a hard time expressing her feelings fully sometimes, but she basically told me that her feelings of resentment and not loving me as much are related to my job status and she seems to think that if I fix it she'll fall in love with me again. During the break so far, nothing much seems to be different. We're best friends and we talk on the phone every day, and we've continued to do so. I've been reading this forum and I don't think No Contact is applicable to me, but I've been doing Less Contact with her. She's called me a few times which is pretty rare, normally I call her after she gets off work because it's too late to call my house. Since we started our break she's told me she loves me, and the only thing that seems to be different is we're not having sex anymore. I think she's using the no-sex as a way to motivate me to get a job, and I think that this is an ultimatum to get a job or else she's going to leave. Our sex life has been lacking lately, and I've tried to improve that but now I realize it's related to her resentment. I really love this girl with all my heart. We're best friends, we get along great normally, we talk through any issues and barely ever fight. I treat her well and she knows that, and she knows how much I love her. Together, we've grown as individuals and I've changed for her and she knows that too. She's almost the perfect girl for me and I don't want to lose her. She's the first girl that I can honestly say I could see myself getting married to and being happy for the rest of my life. Sorry for the long post. I guess I needed to get some things off my chest, and had to tell the whole story in order to get the best advice. I feel that if I work on my job issue that we can be together and happy again. I guess I'm wondering what people think, if I have a chance here, or if she's trying to let me down easy and still remain friends (since I'm her best friend and I know she doesn't want to lose that).
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