whatsagirltodo

Thanks. The thing is, i loved him - i still do love him. Not the majorly depressed person he turned into over the past 6 months, but who he really is beneath his disease. I truly believe he was/is bipolar but refused help. I tried to help him because I just don't believe in abandoning someone you love when they need help. I'm all he ever had and he purposely tried to hurt me and push me away all the time, but i stuck by him to try to push him into counseling and to stick to his medications. I don't know what this is the beginning of...but it makes me nervous, because I'm afraid of getting sucked back into everything...also, I'm afraid of what people I know will say if him and I would start speaking again. He was however, my best friend who i confided everything in and really influenced me for the better. We knew eachother for a long time before we ever started dating and underneath his depression is an amazing person that I really miss and haven't seen in about 6-9 months...

Why? Why did I ever email him? Now he wants his stuff back? I feel like I could vomit. I'm so angry at him...why did he have to call? I was at my cousin's 13th bday party. I checked my phone and saw I had a missed call. It was his house # (i deleted him from my life, lol, which includes his name in my phone)...my throat dropped into my stomach. I felt so nauseous. I was with my two older cousins, they said maybe it was his parents calling me and to go ahead and call. So I did and it was him that called. It was like a "normal" conversation but i was really nervous and uncomfortable. He said he called because of my email (i posted the whole short convo in another thread) I told him i didn't want to talk to him, that i just missed him at that time because i had a bad day that day and then dreamt about him. We talked, and he subtly made a mean joke about the "incident" (the reason he flipped out on me back in dec and we stopped talking, again posted in another thread) and I told him: 'you know that you took that way too far out of context and that I didn't mean any of it in the way you took it' and 'you know me better than that, but I am sorry about it all' and he just kind did his mumbly-thing where he knows i'm right but doesn't want to admit it or believe it because he thinks he's always right. It was just a weird conversation with him saying that he wants his stuff back, where i played dumb and asked "what stuff?" just to see what he thought i had of his. He said his DVD's (which i do have and figured that was what he meant) and I told him to just call me or email me whenever he wants to get them and then we hung up. He sounded like he had been drinking, but I can't be positive. Any advice to make me feel better about this situation??

I got an email back from the ex. His reply was "yes" ...lol. That was it. Thank goodness. No drama and I'm not emailing him back - so it's all over now. I can go back to my *new* life...and my internet guy that canceled our date has emailed me and we talked tonight and I so hope we can meet sometime! I'm so excited! thanks again!

Thanks so much for encouragement. I just know how he is and he probably thought I was trying to weasel my way back into his life and repeat all our drama all over again - so NOT true. I just miss talking to him about things that only he and I used to talk about and after being such a HUGE part of my life for the past 2 years, it's only natural that I would miss him after speaking to eachother nearly EVERYDAY for a year to not speaking at all. I'm doing a lot better than i thought i would for it only being 2 months. I'm excited to go out and date and meet people and actually be treated like a woman instead of how my ex used to treat me. I just hope i can stay this strong for the future.

Don't think like that. My advice is: Enjoy being single now, before you ever know what it is like to be in a relationship and THEN be single. It sounds like bad advice, but I was never in a relationship until i was 19. It was wonderful...while it lasted. Now I'm single again and it's REALLY different than being single before. Before I wanted a relationship, but I didn't know what it was really like, so it's not like now where I MISS being in a relationship more than I actually miss him, lol. Do you understand what I mean? I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I just know that I wish I could feel the same way about being single now as I did when I was single back then before I ever was in a relationship. ...i hope that makes sense. As for finding a relationship - it will happen. As long as you're out there and open to finding someone, you will...Do you ever ask your friends to introduce you to someone?

I know i've been on here talking about dating and everything lately, but about a week ago I was upset about the ex (He dumped me several times starting last summer and it was official in Oct, but we kept in touch still, acting sort of like a couple until a few days before Christmas when I said something that pissed him off so bad he never wanted to speak to me again - and the whole thing was ridiculous, but you can read that in past threads.) I emailed him about three weeks later trying to tell him nicely that he needs help (he had depression and his parents and i both thought he might be bipolar, but he refused help) and that was it. 2 months go by, I was feeling down because of all my dating failures I've had recently. I emailed him and said: "I know I shouldn't be emailing you. If you wanted to speak to me you'd call. I can't help it though. I just miss talking to you, that's all. I hope everything is going good." Tonight (one week later) I get this: "yeah, its going f***ing great." I just sent him this back: "I'm sorry...So you hate me, I get it, but is sarcasm really necessary?" He's a jerk, his attitude hasn't changed one bit from two months ago - my life has done a complete 360. I went from being $800 in debt to $800 in my savings...I'm healthier and feeling better...I've made a bunch of changes and I'm REALLY happy with everything...i just let myself get the better of me that one night and i've regretted it ever since - but i didn't think i'd hear from him, honestly. I feel like such an idiot, now he knows he still has control over me and he's probably SO HAPPY right now thinking that my life is h*ll without him...I don't need him, i know...why did i email him??? Grr...

Thanks to everyone, this is REALLY helpful advice. I know nothing about online dating, but I'm learning. I'm REALLY serious about meeting this guy though after we finally made the decision to get together, but I have my doubts because of past experiences...I've gotten really close to going out with THREE other guys that i've met online and then THEY never followed through. This guy has gone over a week without even emailing me...but I ALWAYS respond to his emails. I emailed him last night to let him know that I wasn't upset, but that I was looking gorgeous and he missed it (in an obvious joking way) and I mentioned that I hoped he'd reschedule... I saw that he read my email I sent him, but he didn't respond - which has happened in the past, no biggie - he's read my email but didn't respond until hours later. I was hoping that this guy was finally going to be my first opportunity to go out with someone that I met online, but now I'm not so sure. ...and I've talked to WAY more than the 3 guys i've mentioned above, they're the ones that i talked to about where we would go and when and then never heard from them. I gave my number out to other guys too and then they never call and stop emailing me. I've never emailed them again, just because obviously if they were interested they would have called, right? Weirdos. lol.

Thanks, you're right.

Well my past experience with online dating has been guys stop talking to me...i gave two guys my number after a few weeks of talking - then never heard from them. One guy gave me his number after a few weeks of talking - i called, left him a message, never heard from him again... I'm not sure how to take the situation, you know? It's hard to read...

Well...all that and he canceled on me. He called a half an hour before we were to meet and said he that a client just walked in and there was no way he would make it on time. (he runs his own business). So, should I give him a second chance if he calls or emails me? I do want to meet him but I don't REALLY know him...

Well i was dumped several months ago and those are all the positive experiences i had!!!!

That's actually not a bad idea, why didn't i think of that? I'm actually fond of my height - it's a good conversation - (In school i was always measured and they said i was 5'2 only to find out later on when my stepdad measured me that I'm only 5'1 and 1/8th!!! lol) I think it does look nicer though too.

more free time spending less money less stress and in turn, better health! (because admit it, if you're just out of a relationship, the events leading up to the breakup were definitly stressful, in my case, it was almost 6 months of stress) ...if i think of anymore I'll post them...

...oh yeah, and i can't REALLY beat someone up...but I carry pepper spray for self-defense...so I can take care of myself... but i do have a question - his profile says he's 5'6" and I'm just a little over 5'1" ...i would normally wear heels, but there's snow and ice everwhere outside...not such a good idea i'm thinking - should I just wear sneakers and show off my shortness?